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                    <text>MASKS
CHADHANSON
Ellen put on a tribal mask, made out of wood, before
she went to work. On the sidewalk, people stared.
Some of them smiled but others seemed confused.
Waiting for the subway, her fellow New Yorkers made
studied attempts to look away. After an hour in her
cubicle, her boss asked her to take the mask off. He
said it made him nervous. He told her not to wear it
again. On the train into the city the next day, Ellen
leaned toward the passenger sitting to her left. She
whispered, “I like your mask.”

oo
oo

Sling

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                <text>&lt;em&gt;Rock &amp;amp; Sling&lt;/em&gt; is published by Whitworth University</text>
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                    <text>[100 word story
Stories

Essays

Interviews

Photo Stories

Book Reviews

Martha
Sophie left Chicago for Panama City, Florida. She made the
trip every year, toward the end of February. In Panama, she
ate burgers. She watched game shows. She went to flea
markets. This time she found a leather belt. Amid imprints of
bison tooled onto the belt, somebody stamped the letters:
M-A-R-T-H-A. She wore the belt to the lounge at the inn. A
suitor saw her by the bar. He said, "Martha?" She did not
correct him. She let him take Martha out to a honky-tonk.
Sophie didn't know how to dance to that type of music, but
Martha knew.

Chad Hanson serves as Chairman of the Department of Sociology &amp; Social Work at
Casper College in Casper, Wyoming.
Photo credit: Chase Clark

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                    <text>CHAD HANSON

*7

PELICAN

SUBTROPICS

CHAD
HANSON

I walk past a pelican on the pier at C^tjcos. I think, “What
a shame that they can’t talk.” I convince myself, if they could
speak, their voices would sound like Garrison Keillor’s. I
figure they would talk slowly. They’d pause and inhale
through their noses between every sentence. When they told
stories, they would end in a sophisticated punch. Their
vocabulary would not include words for either “war” or
“pollution.” I thought, if pelicans could talk, they would build
new cities on the shores of our waterways. I picture those
cities. Perfect. Just like the feathers of a bird. 2

PeUICAN

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                    <text>CHAD HANSON

A Wine Rack Full of Ghosts

Betty didn’t have too many people left. She lost her
sister. Her parents. Cancer took her husband. She
plays bridge at the senior center in the afternoon. At
home, in the evening, she visits her backyard with a
glass of wine. One glass turns into three. Hard edges
blur. The part of her brain that keeps her in the
moment relaxes. Her husband joins her in the suit he
wore whenever he sailed. They laugh. Same as always.

The wine will not admit his death.

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                    <text>Chad Hanson
Wild Horses, America, and Me
It is important that wefind animals to Zoue.—thomas mcguane

I’ve been missing get-togethers. The day after a neighborhood poker game,
I learned that my friend Tim had asked about my absence. “Where is
Hanson?” In response, my colleague, Brad, sang a line from a song by
Jonathan Richman: I ain’t seen him much .. . since he . . . started with
horses. It is true. During the past three years, I’ve spent my spare time on
the prairies of Wyoming with a camera pointed at bands of mustangs.
Sometimes I go by myself. Other times I travel with my wife, Lynn. Either
way, if there’s a blank spot on the calendar, I don’t have to think about how
to fill the days. I load the car and drive to places where I’m likely to find
horses.
Wild mustangs are not my first obsession. I spent two decades fly­
fishing for trout in a fashion that felt essentially out of control. At one
point, I also thought I would retrace the canoe routes of the French fur
traders and explorers. I paddled a lot of water before I gave up on that
ghost. I became a bird watcher. In my late thirties I invested in a pair of
binoculars and a bookshelf full of field guides. Over time my home be­
came a warehouse for equipment that I take with me when I leave home.
That’s typical. American lives, more so than most, unfold in the form of
arrivals and departures. We wander to a degree that can feel nomadic.

In the middle 1900s we left the era of agriculture. By the end of the last
century, few of us lived on farms. The production of food had become an
industrial process along with manufacturing. In the past, we put more
into our land when we wanted to get ahead. Today, we move to find new
opportunities. Our careers keep us in motion. Then—when we are free of
our responsibilities—we go. We take a vacation.
Some of us leave in order to escape. I know families that take annual
trips to Walt Disney World in Florida. I can’t think of a better way to take

45

�flight from contemporary life. The attraction is the absence of reality.
Critics charge the Walt Disney Company and its customers with living in
denial. They accuse Disney of providing a distraction from the injustices
that we perpetuate as a nation, but the Disney critics miss the point. The
purpose of a trip to Disney World is to take a break from wrongdoings and
injustice. It’s the “Magic Kingdom.” It is not the “Kingdom Where We
Give Thought to the Sober-and-Sometimes-Sad Reality of Life in a Post­
Industrial Society.”
The culture that we live in makes us feel like escaping, but we travel for
reasons other than to flee. Americans are seekers, too. We search when we
travel. Many of us put ourselves in motion as a way to make a “pilgri­
mage,” whether or not we use that word to describe our journeys. As
opposed to tourism as a diversion from the day-to-day, the pilgrimage
offers a way to add a meaningful chapter to what, eventually, becomes a
life story. We set the largest share of our chapters at home. We connect our
identities to the places where we live, but travel-as-search allows us to
expand the edges of the self. Away from families and jobs, we forget the
memories we don’t want to recall. Then we replace them by adding para­
graphs, even whole chapters, to our stories. We don’t come all the way
back from a pilgrimage. We return different.

Wild horses go wherever they want to. They roam across deserts, through
forests, and on top of mountains. You find them in all of these places, but
they favor prairies. Horses browse. That means they can eat a range of
plants, but they prefer grasses. When I watch them, sometimes I wonder
what it would feel like to walk on a landscape that is edible. When they are
hungry, horses lower their necks and bite off a piece of food. But horses
are also prey. Foals and yearlings fall victim to cougars. That’s another
reason they prefer the wide open. Horses can run. Open space gives them
room to dash away if they are chased. On the grasslands, their bellies are
full and they are free.
Horses gravitate to prairies. It took me years to appreciate the plains,
however. I’m an elevation chauvinist. I moved to Wyoming for the moun­
tains. They are easy to love. We have been socialized to see beauty in
high country—pine forests, snow-covered slopes, and jagged peaks. We’re
taught that landscapes are worthy of our attention when they are broken
and tilted upward. For instance, you can cross five hundred miles of
Wyoming plains without driving by a single designated “scenic” point.
When you reach the Tetons, however, you find roadside parking lots every
two miles, spread along the whole base of the range. The lots are full of

46

PRAIRIE SCHOONER

�cars and the sound of shutters clacking behind the lenses of cameras.
Willa Gather is rumored to have said, “Anyone can love the mountains,
but it takes a soul to love the prairie.”
It took a while before I started to see grasslands as a destination, as
opposed to someplace to race through on my way to mountainsides. The
change involved a reeducation. In reading about the river routes of fur
trappers, I happened on an account of a conversation between a French
explorer and a member of the Cree Nation from the northern part of
Saskatchewan. The two had just met, so the trapper took time to explain
where he had been. He depicted the forests and peaks of the Canadian
Rockies. He did so with enthusiasm. Imagining the landscape the trapper
described, the Cree man asked, “Is it as beautiful as the land-with-nosticks?” The line forced me to wonder. No trees? No sticks? Beautiful?
On her first visit to Wyoming, a friend from Minnesota mentioned in a
somber tone, “It’s treeless.” I replied, “No. It’s tree-free. Look. You can see
for miles. There is nothing in your way.” We spend our lives negotiating
social boundaries. For example, we live in communities largely made up
of rules: don’t turn left until you see the green arrow—don’t wear flip-flop
sandals to work—don’t let your boss know what you really think. We build
identities that bind our potential: “I’m a nurse, I don’t have time for
poetry,” or “I’m a salesperson. I’m not a scientist.” We also carve our world
into compartments: this is a bedroom, a living room, office, store, park,
restaurant. On large swaths of the prairie there are no such distinctions.
No lines to cross. It’s all periphery: you, grass, and the horizon. In the
context of our limited lives, we’re offered only a handful of glimpses into
boundlessness: the sea, the stars, and the prairie. In one of the lessons
passed down by students of the Buddha, a long-suffering man was said to
have asked him, “What is paradise?” The Buddha replied, “Emptiness.”

I grew up in the 1970s watching the tv show GrizzlyAdams. Once a week,
for an hour, I sat down to watch Adams make his way in the West of the
1800s. In his hometown, he was accused of a crime that he did not com­
mit, so to avoid an unjust punishment, Adams escaped to the hills. He
lived in a log cabin. He befriended miners. Native Americans, and ani­
mals. In particular, Adams shared his life with a grizzly bear named Ben.
Adams rescued the bruin from a perilous fate on the side of a cliff when he
was just a cub. From then on, Adams and the grizzly were inseparable.
Stories about the relationship between a man and an animal offered
viewers a contrast to the suburban sprawl growing in circles around them.
Some decades are reflective. In the 1960s and ’70s, many of us started

CHAD HANSON

47

�to assess the future offered to us in our culture. We started questioning
what we call the “establishment.” Americans were reading books like The
Lonely Crowd and The Man in the Grey Flannel Suit. As a group, we
started to wonder if we wanted what the US economy had to offer—
namely, lives tethered to either a desk or an assembly line. At the time,
when we looked at our collective self in the mirror, we saw single-minded,
corporate types. When we looked at our surroundings, we saw the ruin
caused by those same single-minded corporate types. News reports de­
scribed litter, smog, and pollution. The songwriter Neil Young captured
the spirit of the day with a lyric that implored us to Look at Mother
Nature.. .on the run .. .in the 1970s. The words resonated. Real estate
developers were gobbling up land. We were driving animals to extinction.
The surface of a river in Ohio caught on fire.
During the 1980s, lust for profit reclaimed its status in the United
States, but in the two decades prior, we questioned the corporate agenda
—for ourselves and for the world. In contrast to business suits, people
aspired to wearing cut-off blue jeans and T-shirts. An entire generation
became interested in getting back to nature. Many saw the outdoors as a
kind of haven where people could take refuge from self-interest and com­
petition. Grizzly Adams appealed to viewers. He didn’t compete. He coop­
erated with everyone. He didn’t drive anything to extinction. He treated
animals with kindness. Creatures walked up toward him without fear. It’s
an old story, one that predates the 1970s. For as long as human beings
have been the dominant predators on the planet, we have dreamed of a
scenario where we could commune, peacefully, with other species. It is
Biblical. The lion lies down with the lamb.
Horses evolved as prey. Their oldest ancestor lived 55 million years ago.
The height and weight of the “dawn pony” matched that of a medium­
sized dog. Over the ages, the animals became larger, faster, and more
powerful. At each step horses grew more capable of protecting each other.
By the time they walked out of North America, heading west on the
Bering land bridge, they were so big the people of Asia started to think
about climbing onto their backs.
The eyes of the horse had become the largest of the land mammals.
They can see on both sides of their bodies. The only blind spots they
possess lie right in front of them and directly behind their tails. Apart
from those two spots, their field of vision includes 340 degrees of longi­
tude. Horses also developed the ability to remember. Their recollections
last for years. From an evolutionary standpoint, the capacity to store

48

PRAIRIE SCHOONER

�memories has served horses. Ifthey are threatened in a specific place or by
a particular type of animal—they don’t forget.
When Lynn and I started making photographs of mustangs, the horses
appeared as small colored dots on the landscape. None of the stallions
would allow us near their bands. Over the course of a year, however, two of
the families near our home grew to accept our presence. We’re careful to
wear the same kind of clothes each time we hike out to see horses. For
example, I wear a wide-brimmed hat. I even wear it on cloudy days. I want
the horses to see me and remember, “That’s the guy with the hat. He’s all
right. He never tries to attack anyone.” Over time, the plan started to
work. Bands that used to run or walk away now allow us within thirty feet,
as opposed to fifty or a hundred yards.
Horses are bigger than we are. Standing alongside a wild animal that
can weigh in excess of a thousand pounds feels profound. When I hike
onto the prairie toward a band of wild horses it feels as if I am traveling
back to the beginning of the world. When I spend time in their company I
am often overwhelmed by a sense that I stand at a crossroads where the
legends of the West meet the blood and bone—reality. I’ve spent my adult
life searching, in a variety of places, and by a range of means, for the
mythical West. I have fished high country lakes for cutthroat trout. I’ve
paddled whitewater rivers. I have climbed to the tops of mountains and
I’ve descended into canyons, too. It turns out the West of my imagination
is the one with a mustang in the foreground.
I grew up with horses, but that did not prepare me for the things I’ve seen
on the prairie. There is a difference between domestic animals and those
bom free. Domestic horses live in a constant state of having their nature
bent and tempered by a master. In contrast, horses born into the wild
possess the same tendencies that the species developed over the course of
its evolution. One such tendency involves the establishment of a hier­
archy, with regard to the dominant males and females in a family. Wild
horses bite and kick, and they collide. In the process, they determine
leadership roles and breeding rights. Another of their behaviors includes
watching for predators. Horses have been known to increase the size of
their herds, even negotiating the joining of separate bands, in areas where
they face a threat from cougars.
It is this orientation—toward the welfare of the group—that strikes me
most. As herbivores, mustangs do not have fangs. They do not possess
claws. All they have going for them in a fight is size, their speed, and each
other. It is not an accident that they form bands. They draw strength and

CHAD HANSON

49

�comfort from their place in a group. During the spring, wild horses battle
to establish levels of dominance, but when the roughhousing is over, and
families are established, they turn toward their relationships with each
other.
I’ve been astounded by the bonds of affection that bind horses. They
put their long, artfully chiseled faces next to each other. They nuzzle with
their noses and lips. They use their teeth to scratch each others’ backs.
They know the spots that are hard to reach on an equine body—withers
and shoulder blades, for example—so they help each other by nibbling in
all the right places. Siblings and parents stand side by side. Then they
swat flies from one another’s faces with their tails. Bands of mustangs
spend entire afternoons preening and caring for their families.
There are few sounds. Horses whinny if they need the attention of the
others. They blow out through their noses as a way to sigh and maintain
contact, especially when foraging carries them afield. A stallion will some­
times shriek in the presence of a rival. Apart from these examples, and the
sound of the wind in the grass, horses live in a quiet world. As prey to
carnivores, it behooves horses to maintain stealth. From an evolutionary
standpoint, silence suits them. It’s adaptive. They communicate—but they
speak the language of the body.
Wild horses fasten themselves to the herd. They use their physical
presence and their eyes to choreograph their position and movements. We
are accustomed to seeing flocks of birds flying in unison. We are familiar
with the idea that groups of fish form schools and coordinate their move­
ments through currents and tides, but on this continent, we see few cases
of large mammals sprinting together. When you see a band of wild horses
run, it forms a striking image. The oldest or most dominant female, the
lead mare, usually begins a charge. Other members of the family step into
formation. Then the stallion falls in behind. Legs churn. The group floats
over the prairie as if they were wrought from one body of metaphysical
horseness.
Mustangs are other-centered. Out of necessity, they focus their atten­
tion outward, into the workings of the band. We’re social too, but not like
horses. Our capacity to manipulate words gives us an inner life. We live
inside our heads as much as we live in a family or culture. Horses use their
memories to recall threats or places of danger. We have little to fear, so we
use our brains to craft personal narratives. It’s our memories that make us
who we are. No matter where you go or who you spend time with, you can
find human beings telling and then recounting the story of themselves,
inside their minds. We’re so vigilant about maintaining our stories that we

50

PRAIRIE SCHOONER

�become preoccupied. We think about ourselves to the exclusion of others.
Our evolution was atypical. We’ve turned into the rarest of creatures: self­
centered but, at the same time, bound to live in groups.
Standing on the prairie with the last remaining wild horses on the conti­
nent is riveting. The animals capture your attention. It takes all of your
senses to absorb the setting: beauty, peace, and motion. You strain your
eyes. Your heart beats, notably, inside your chest. You have to remind
yourself to exhale. Such moments arrest your attention. They lock you in
the present. The past, the future, hopes and recollections—gone. In such a
moment, when all of your memories vanish, you disappear, too. You can
try to hang onto the stories in your head. I’ve tried that once or twice, but I
find it’s better to give in to the spell. I use my time on the prairie as a way
to forget myself.
I spend summers and a good part of the other seasons standing on the
plains in the company of wild horses. During the time I pass on the
grasslands, there are other tasks to which I should devote attention, but
my obligations have to wait. Still, there are people with whom I ought to
spend more of my time. I regret the trade-offs. It is true that my friends
have not seen much of me since I started with horses. As a consolation,
however, I also see quite a bit less of me.

CHAD HANSON

51

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                    <text>Feathers
by Chad Hanson

For a week, after his tenth birthday, a raven sat outside Garret’s
bedroom window. The bird clung to the branch of an elm tree.
He cried, K-Caw. K-Caw. Garret’s mother wondered out loud if
the bird had lost someone. She said, “It sounds like he is calling
somebody.” Garret drew a picture of a raven with a black pencil.

His mom taped the paper to the bark of the tree. In the morning,
they found the image gone. A feather took its place under the

tape. He kept it in a box for sixty seven years. Nowit is nighttime
in the nursing home. He sleeps with the feather on his bed stand.

At sunrise, his aid knocks on the door. She finds the room empty,
except for a raven on the sill of an open window. Garret holds his
place for a moment. He spreads his wings, for practice. Then he
cakes a step and the wind lifts him from the ledge.

40

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                    <text>CHAD HANSON

Theodore Roosevelt, Shaman
Teddy "seemed to burn more brightly and live more fully than others, savoring
every detail and every challenge."
—Christopher Knowlton

My wife, Lynn, judges my enthusiasm for a travel destination by taking stock
of the time I spend reading its history. Sometimes 1 read about a place before
I visit. Other times, if 1 am struck by a location, I read about it afterward. In
the case of Theodore Roosevelt National Park, I read about the setting before
we left for North Dakota, 1 kept on while we were there, and then 1 continued
after we went home. Our original interest in the area arose when we found
out that Theodore Roosevelt is the only park in the U.S. that plays host to
bands of wild horses. That alone seemed like a good reason to plan a trip.
I didn't know until later, the outing would spark a year's worth of thought
about wildness, prairies, and the power of one person to change the way that
people think about the world.

We arrive in the village of Medora after dark. The rooftops of old-time build­
ings form a line, strung out like boxcars on the horizon. We pull into the gas
station on the main road. After I fill the tank, 1 join Lynn in the gift shop and
convenience store. While she adds milk to a cup of tea I wander through the
aisles. Every shelf is full of souvenirs: T-shirts, mugs, shot glasses, and leather
belts bejeweled with brightly colored beads. We're "traveling." Everything
about the space we're in suggests that we are about to begin an experience—a
park.

It's a throng of shapes and colors in the gift shop on Main Street in Medora,
but I gravitate toward a shelf of books. Histories of North Dakota stand beside
biographies of Roosevelt. I also find a guide to the bands of wild horses in
the park. The book contains photos, names, and descriptions of well-known
mares and stallions. 1 spend a moment reading about a silver horse named
Arrowhead. He strikes me as a masterpiece of DNA: thick neck, broad shoul­
ders, strong, elegant legs, and chiseled jaw. It's an engaging book, but it is
expensive. We're on a budget, and we discovered, halfway to Medora, that we
forgot our coffee cups. I notice that Lynn is waiting in the car, so I choose two
Roosevelt mugs from a shelf.
With a full tank and a new pair of souvenirs we pass through the guard sta­
tion on the park's southern border. At night, the outlines of ridges and valleys
88 I Chariton Review

CHAD HANSON

�only offer dark hints about the contour of the land. My imagination fills the
shadows with sleeping bands of mustangs, resting nose to nose. It's a soothing
image, but the night is black, it's getting late, and we are occupied with the
thought of the campsite waiting for us on the Little Missouri. We make our way
to the site without stopping to see what the darkness holds.
Cottonwood Camp sits at the bottom of a valley in a grove of trees. Our
site enjoys the shelter of branches overhead, and it's close to the water too,
We're able to listen to waves lapping along the river's edge while we pitch our
canvas teepee.
Lynn is tired. It has been a long day in the car, so we pour some red wine
into our Roosevelt mugs and blow up our mattresses. With our bedding set,
I say goodnight. I spent the decades of my twenties and thirties obsessively
fly-fishing. I don't fish for trout much anymore, but I still feel an impulse to
stand in rivers with the current washing over my knees. I refill my mug and
walk to the water.

Three weeks prior to the trip, I started to read about Roosevelt. As president,
he protected our first monument. Devil's Tower, and the nation's first park,
Yellowstone. At a time when we busied ourselves cutting down forests, dam­
ming rivers, and strip mining for coal and copper, Roosevelt waged a policy
war of opposition. He fought against what we think of as a simple march
toward "progress." His primary weapon in the fight was his personality, cou­
pled with everybody else's understanding of the legend—his life story.
Nations across the world and throughout time have given rise to wise and
noteworthy people, Every culture finds a way to exalt its formidable characters.
We called Roosevelt our twenty-sixth president. If he were alive in another time,
or another place, they would have likely called him a shaman. As a tradition,
shamanism extends backward through 30,000 years of history. It spanned the
globe to include examples on every continent except Antarctica. The techniques
of shamanism developed along similar lines, from one end of the Earth to the
other, despite the distance separating its practitioners. Apparently, at the right
time in their saga, nations need a shaman.
Anthropologists have documented the steps most often taken in the pro­
cess of elevating someone to such a status. In nearly every case, a would-be
shaman suffers a crisis in the form of an illness or a shock. The woe they feel
begins to separate them from others. Then the anguish starts to move them,
to the point where they set out from home. In some cultures, the journeys are
physical. A budding shaman will travel, typically in solitude, in search of a
vision. In other places, the passage is mystical. The voyage involves a trek into
the spirit world. In either case, shamans return with a new set of skills. They
also wear costumes as a way to indicate that they've been changed. Then they
start to console people. They begin to counsel their communities.
On the evening of Valentine's Day 1884, on different floors of his New
York home, Theodore Roosevelt lost the two most beloved people in his world:
his wife and mother. By all accounts, the event left him in something akin to
CHAD HANSON

Charlton Review | 89

�a trance. One of his associates was known to have said, in the weeks after the
tragedy, “He does not know what he does or says." In his journal, Roosevelt
confessed, "The light went out of my life." He left for North Dakota, beyond
the lands of Daniel Boone and Davy Crockett, to the West, where an American
form of wildness endured.
Historians agree that the experience of moving to the plains impacted Roo­
sevelt. He spent a year in a shack on the Little Missouri. In his words, with
respect to the time that he gave to the prairie, "It is where the romance of my
life began." Photos from the era offer a vision of Roosevelt having replaced his
tailored three-piece suit with a buckskin leather one, rows of fringe across his
shoulders, a bandana on his neck. The new attire served as a sign to observers.
A transformation had occuned.
Roosevelt later returned to his home state of New York and, of course,
he spent a good deal of his days in Washington, D.C. But he maintained a
residence in North Dakota, a ranch upstream on the river. He returned to the
western plains off and on throughout the rest of his life. He went for the adven­
ture. The prairie served as a muse and a source of inspiration. Roosevelt used
the solitude and solemnity of time spent in the out-of-doors to create a space
in his mind, free from the ordinary norms and values of business and politics.
He walked the path of a shaman. Like his predecessors, down through the ages,
he lived on the borderland between two worlds. He used periods of separation
from society, and immersion in nature, to expand his perceptions. Like a tribal
shaman, Roosevelt used his time apart to build a platform of wisdom, from
which he provided a contrast to commonly held, but wrongheaded, beliefs.

Historically, shamanism offered little in the way of actual medicine with
healing properties. In the past, however, if a person approached a shaman
with an illness or hardship, they expected to discover a new way to inter­
pret the symptoms of the ailment. It turns out that stories are good medi­
cine. When it comes to improvements in health, their effectiveness is well
established. The line of evidence in support of healing narratives begins with
early anthropology and runs through contemporary studies of placebos, con­
ducted in medical schools. Perceptions are powerful. They hold the potential
to heal, and to the degree that shamanism changes minds, the practice proves
its worth. Even in a case where a death becomes eminent, a shaman can offer
someone a new way to think about their fate.
All throughout history, individuals turned to shamans for the means to
re-story and redefine themselves. Societies have done the same. In the end,
shamanism serves a social role. Shamans use the things that set them apart—
past suffering, travel, and appearance—to challenge the status quo when the
behavior of a group begins to go awry. Their example throws back the curtain
of culture that often limits our ability to make sensible choices. Shamans open
a place where people can give thought to what is possible.
In the time of Theodore Roosevelt, our once-proud frontier nation stood
on the brink of becoming an urban and industrial place. The country found
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CHAD HANSON

�itself in the grip of a culture that hailed the captains of industry, while at the
same time forsaking the landscapes that enchanted the country's early colonists
and pioneers. This is the age where we began to revel in the accumulation of
wealth. We began to think of ourselves primarily as consumers. At the same
time, Roosevelt-the-Shaman gave us a new sense of our potential. Apart from
his legislative victories, Roosevelt used the example of his life in the outdoors
to shift the way we think about our past, and more important, our futures.
Shamans offer us new stories, and every decent story is built around a
string of expectations, left like bread crumbs, running from the start to the end
of a nanative. Stories employ the trick of anticipation. A good story inspires
an expectant mood. The stories we told about Roosevelt's adventures in the
West led a country hell-bent on covering its topography with railroads and
smokestacks to see what we stood to lose if we left our course unchecked. Roo­
sevelt's example helped us to see the potential in wild places. He changed the
way we see our habitat. In the words of another nineteenth-century shaman,
Henry David Thoreau, "... there is as much beauty in the landscape as we are
prepared to appreciate." Thoreau went on to add, "we shall be fortunate ... if
we expect great things." Through the force of his biography and character, Roo­
sevelt boosted our expectations. He challenged our culture of commerce and
turned our hope to conservation.

In the morning, we drink coffee, eat cereal, and then climb in the car. When
the U.S. government created the park, its directors paved a road meant to
allow travelers to see a wide swath of the area in one circular route. Depend­
ing on the amount of time spent hiking, picnicking, and making photo­
graphs, visitors can plan to spend somewhere between a half day and a full
day completing the circle drive.
Out on the road. I'm struck by the terrain. When settlers entered the west­
ern half of the Dakotas they needed to name their surroundings. They chose to
describe them as "Badlands." Through their eyes—the setting radiated badness.
Adjectives that authors included in writings on the place include sparse, barren,
and inhospitable. Of course, they judged the West by standards set in the culti­
vated gardens of Europe and the East.
In contrast to the disappointment that settlers felt when they cast their eyes
onto the valley of the Little Missouri, Roosevelt saw "a sacredness to the Bad­
lands silhouette." He described the region as "so fantastically broken in form
and so bizane in color as to seem hardly properly to belong to this Earth." In
his mind, the place "exuded a cosmic sense of God's Creation." As with other
would-be shamans, Roosevelt needed a mythical place to build a new identi­
ty—a destination that would allow him to leave the confines of his prior self.
To those ends, he found the Badlands abiding.

I stop at the first scenic lookout that we come upon. We're not alone in the
parking lot. We pull in next to a station wagon at the end of a row of cars.
CHAD HANSON

Chariton Review j 91

�Then we grab our cameras and make our way to a spot near a group of pho­
tographers. When we reach the other travelers-with-cameras, we discover that
it's not the rumpled landscape that has drawn their attention. They're point­
ing their lenses at a group of prairie dogs.
I've lived in the West for three decades. This is the first full-fledged prairie
dog town I have ever seen. When Lewis and Clark led the Corps of Discovery
through the northern plains, prairie dogs appeared to them in "infinite" num­
bers. In fact, biologists speculate that the plains of the West were home to more
than 5 billion prairie dogs as recently as a hundred years ago. One colony in
Texas hosted 400 million residents. By the turn of the century, the number of
black tailed prairie dogs in the U.S. had been reduced by 98 percent. The pop­
ulation of the Gunnison's variety shrunk by 97 percent and the white-tailed
subspecies vanished from 92 percent of its former range.
Prairie dogs have a powerful enemy: agribusiness. Ranchers tell a story
about the little animals that threatens their existence. The story has it that live­
stock fall into prairie dog bunows and break their legs. Over the years, that
narrative unleashed a multi-generational campaign to shoot, poison, trap,
blow up, gas, and drowned the American prairie dog into oblivion. Of course,
historically as many as 60 million bixon and 5 billion prairie dogs co-existed
on the plains—and buffalo with broken legs did not exactly pile up as a result.
Like their wild bovine cousins, livestock also live in harmony with their tiny
beige bretheren, when they're allowed. In John Hoogland's classic The Black­
tailed Prairie Dog, he testivies to the effect that there are no published accounts
of a single cow or calf ever having broken a leg by falling into a prairie dog
butrow. The myth that suggests prairie dogs are "leg breakers" contains no
truth, but research and data are not the forces that drove prairie dogs to the
edge of extinction. They became ensnared in a cold-blooded mix of falsehood
and human self-interest.

Lynn and I join the photographers at the far end of the parking lot and we start
to observe. I don't know what I find more charming, the yips and barks of the
prairie dogs or the oohs and ahs coming from the group gathered to watch.
Prairie dogs form clans. They stand near the entrances to burrows and greet
each other with hugs. Sometimes they kiss. Researchers note elaborate groom­
ing behaviors, and in the words of the biologist Constantine Slobodchikoff,
"They have the most sophisticated animal language decoded so far."
We watch them chase each other back and forth across the colony. They
stop to wrestle. Then they clean each other's fiir. We press on because we're set
on finding the wild horses in the park, but the other photographers remain.
Some of their tripods look like they’re set up on a semi-permanent basis.

Back on the road, we roll in between hoodoos and down to the bottoms of
glades. We watch a group of mule deer through the windows of the car. The
pace of traffic slows at the top of a rise, and at first, we can't see why. Then we
92 ! Chariton Review

CHAD HANSON

�crest the ridge and it is obvious: a bull bison. The solitary beast stands on the
summit, looking out into the folds and wrinkles stretching into the distance.
A group of people stands at the road's edge holding cameras. We join them,
quietly.
Lynn and I spend a lot of time in parks. One of the things we like best are
the people. National parks tend to bring out our most admirable traits. Inside
a park, it seems, we are gracious. We practice humility. In our culture, the act of
travel encourages us to pay homage to the places we visit. We go to locations
that we value, and when we value a place, it shows in our eyes, our posture, and
our actions.
Travelers rarely spray-paint or shoot up road signs, for example. Local kids
do that, and they do it because they don't appreciate their surroundings. They
are missing reverence. They feel unenthused, and the adults in their orbit allow
them to take their habitat for granted, to the point where it starts to feel boring,
so much so that it becomes an object of scorn, a target for vandals. With regard
to the management of parks and public land, we often decry "local control,"
but I would argue that locals are among the last people to whom we ought to
grant authority. We become desensitized to grandeur when we spend each day
in its presence. Local residents rarely adore their settings in the same manner as
those who save vacation days for years to see a place.

Theodore Roosevelt hunted bison, but by the late 1800s the animals had
become hard to find, and on the occasions when Roosevelt located a herd
of buffalo, he found it a moral challenge to shoot them. Like their cousins
the prairie dogs, bison were seen as a financial threat to agribusiness people,
who have a tendency to treat our public grasslands like their own private
pastures. As a nation, then and now, we place the interests of commerce
ahead of ecology. We are inclined to believe that "The chief business of the
American people is business," in the words of another U.S. president, Calvin
Coolidge.
Roosevelt's path allowed him to see with a different pair of eyes. He saw
through the veil of commerce that blinds us to anything but profit-making. In a
biography of Roosevelt entitled Wilderness W/irrior, historian Douglas Brinkley
suggested, “It sickened him to see wild ungulates being poisoned and slaugh­
tered because they supposedly ate the same grass as cattle and sheep." Roos­
evelt created Yellowstone National Park in part to preserve the last remaining
examples of wild bison left in the United States.

We don't approach the bull at the top of the ridge. We're not looking for close­
ups. Lynn and I hold back and make photographs that include the animal as a
part of the landscape. That's a difficult proposition, though. We have to time
our exposures in concert with a photographer making circles around the bull
at a distance that looks too close. Bison are stoic. They are not known for their
animate gestures. When they're not eating, they stand around. For travelers
CHAD HANSON

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�unfamiliar with bison behavior, the statue-like demeanor can mislead. Most
of the time in the out-of-doors, each of us is like a Godzilla. All living things
scatter when they see us. Not so with a bull bison. They stand there—unwav­
ering. They don't even think to leave. As a result, they seem friendly, but they
are not. In Yellowstone, bison injure more visitors than wolves, bears, and
mountain lions combined. Because they don't run away, people walk up too
close to them. Then, by the time they discover they made a mistake, it is too
late. It's the indifference to threat that makes buffalo dangerous. Ironically,
that trait also led to their demise. Bison hunters do not have to "hunt' them
at all. They just walk up and shoot.
We pause after we've made enough photographs. I put my camera down,
but I cannot stop looking. 1 am struck by the image of the bull against a backdrop of rippled plains. Bison are relative newcomers to North America. Ani­
mals like horses and coyotes evolved here on this continent over the course
of more than fifty million years. In contrast, bison trace their original stock
back to the Middle East. They are descendants of the great aurochs—the wild
bovines that inhabited North Africa. Like human beings, bison migrated across
Asia and into Alaska during the time of the last ice age. Bison did not evolve in
North America, but this is their home. No one who sees them here could argue
that they don't belong.
For our part, we press on and finish the drive. Any time we see a vantage
point with uninterrupted views, we stop. Each occasion gives us a reason to
step out of the car. We survey the land because the terrain is worth pausing to
admire, but we're still on the lookout for mustangs. In the end the search is
fruitless, however. We complete the circle and drive to the campground without
finding any horses.

After dinner, we decide to hike along the banks of the Little Missouri, Early
on, we meet a ranger and we stop to talk. We tell her we spent the day looking
for horses, with no sign. She asks a handful of questions about the timing of
our route. She explains how, over the years, she built a feel for the way horses
move through the area, and then she makes a suggestion. She tells us to wake
up early and drive to the north. Her advice is to try to reach Jones Creek
before sun-up.
In the morning, we discover the value in a ranger's knowledge of a park.
When we drive over the last crest separating us from Jones Creek, we are greeted
by the sight of horses grazing at the bottom of a draw. We find two bands wad­
ing in the grass—not too far from the pavement. Then, as we drive closer, we
see a band of six on a bald ridge, each wild horse striking a pose.
We're not the first to notice the mustangs. We pull onto the shoulder next
to a pickup from Texas and a sedan with license plates from Michigan. The
others are already making photos of the two bands enjoying a breakfast of
little bluestem at the bottom of the valley. Both families attempt to shield their
foals. Mares position themselves between the photographers and their young
ones. The stallions stay to the side. They leave space between themselves and
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CHAD HANSON

�the others in order to monitor the scene.

Human beings and wolves and primates and elephants are the only land
mammals that form bonds to the same degree that we find in the equine
world. Horses create long-lasting and profound relationships. At a distance,
you can often distinguish horses from other ungulates because they stand
so close together that they touch. Cattle don't hug each other like that, and
neither do elk. Mustangs engage in friendly sparring games on their hind
legs, they pull their friend's tails as a way to tease them, and they watch each
other play in puddles after rain. They also hold established roles within their
families. Mares and stallions posture themselves in relation to one another,
their young, and the members of other bands. We know a lot about the social
lives of horses, but our understanding of the animals is also limited.
Research on mustang behavior has been stunted by the status of the horse
in our culture, and by the way we organize knowledge in universities. We tend
to study animals in two places on an American campus, colleges of agricul­
ture and departments of biology. Horses often become the subjects of schol­
ars working in agriculture. But those researchers study domestic animals. They
focus on husbandry and techniques for training horses as our servants. They
overlook the wild ones. In departments where they study fish and game they
also tend to ignore the behavior of horses, because we usually define them as
property, as opposed to wildlife. Theodore Roosevelt viewed the mustangs of
the North Dakota Badlands differently, however. He pointed out, "They are as
wild as pronghorn."
Mustangs fall between two established, but self-limiting fields. People who
conduct research on domestic animals disregard them because they are not
domestic, and people who study wildlife discount them because they don't
consider them wildlife. As a consequence, the workings of wild horse fami­
lies and much about the mind of equus remains enigmatic. 1 would argue that
the disciplines of biology and agriculture have provided an important baseline
of knowledge with respect to horses, but neither field is positioned to help
advance the cause. New insights will need to come from researchers in anthro­
pology. Jane Goodall and Diane Fossey studied primates under the guidance of
the anthropologist Louis Leakey. They used the techniques of social science to
break open our understanding of the group life of chimpanzees and gorillas.
When it comes to the study of social mammals, ethnography has proven its
value as a method.

On the side of the road, four of us try to make pictures of a mare grooming
a foal. She showers attention on the colt by nipping at his mane. Horses are
unlike bison. Technically, they are both prey animals, but bison stand and
fight when faced with danger. They swing their skulls and horns to ward off
an attack, and thus, tend to stand still in the presence of photographers. On
the other hand, a horse's only defense is to run. Unlike the other ungulates
CHAD HANSON

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�in North America, horses do not possess any cranial ornaments—no horns,
antlers, or paddles protruding out of their skulls. When it comes down to fight
or flight, horses were made to flee. When you approach a band of mustangs,
there's an ever-present question: Will they run away? Anyone who hopes to
walk toward a group of wild horses feels the tension. Will they stay? Or will
they go?
I am contemplating these questions as 1 focus my lens. I'm changing aper­
ture settings and shutter speeds. I am not paying attention to the other photog­
raphers. Making images of horses is a dynamic undertaking, though. Sooner
or later, wild mustangs shift off to another patch of grass or to other interests.
After a moment, the horses I'm watching decide to move on, and when they
do, I look up and turn to the person next to me. It's a woman, and I can tell
she's been crying.
People are the only animals that cry. Of course, we do so for obvious rea­
sons: joy and sadness. In both cases, we leak from our eyes when we feel over­
whelmed. 'There are more nuanced occasions when people weep, however. I
have noticed, when people see free-roaming bands of wild horses for the first
time, the sight can often lead to tears.
'The first time Lynn and I visited the Black Hills Wild Horse Sanctuary in
South Dakota, we took a tour with a guide. We rode in a truck across the prop­
erty, to a place where mustangs often meet. The drive took half an hour, but
we found horses in the spot where we hoped to find them. When we climbed
from the truck, 1 noticed that Lynn was dabbing her eyes with the cloth we use
to clean our cameras.
I asked our guide, "Is that common? Do people cry when they come upon
a group of mustangs?"
He said, "Absolutely. Yeah. It happens all the time."
I have seen a good deal of evidence, in the past several years, to suggest
that he is right. Lynn and I often drive people out to see wild horses. Misty eyes
and tears are typical. It's joy. At least, that's a part of the explanation. My sense
is that it's more than happiness. Maybe it's something different. When people
cry in the presence of mustangs, it's like the outpouring of emotion that we
feel in a gallery when we come upon a work of art that touches something in
our scaffolding of memories. It's comparable to times when unexpected songs
come on the radio, and we find ourselves moved by the feelings that flow from
the lyrics or melody. It's happiness, of course. It's sadness too.
When people see wild mustangs for the first time, they are often struck
by the affection the horses display toward each other. In the West, mustangs
have hundreds of thousands of acres they can roam as individuals, but they
stand with their faces together, squinting into one another's eyes. Of course,
they're larger and more physically impressive than us, but they're also better at
maintaining families. I think, for many people, when they see a band of wild
horses for the first time—it feels like a vision of how mammals ought to relate
to each other.
My family is spread out across the continent. We're all "successful" to some
degree. But we've made careers, and real estate, SUVs, and high technology
the focus of our lives. In fact, the more that we succeed, the further we fling
96 I Chariton Review

CHAD HANSON

�ourselves into directions we're supposed to value in society: beach resorts and
second homes and ski vacations, in the case of just three examples. The sight
of wild horses lazily caring for each other in the sun shocks many of us as an
image of what our lives ought to look like. It's a bit like peering into Eden.
Calm. Affectionate. In contrast, most of our days are defined by a lack of seren­
ity and the absence of touch. I think people cry in the presence of wild horses
because we are so similar. But we're so different. When we watch bands of
mustangs, it's like looking into a mirror—with one exception—we do not see a
reflection of ourselves. Instead, we see what our society has done to us.
I nod at the woman standing next to me with water in her eyes. I give her
a knowing glance. Then I smile with the intent to convey "I know. Me too."

It's our last day in the park, so we drive slowly through the rest of the circle
tour. We stop to look at another colony of prairie dogs. A stand of cotton­
woods suggests itself as a spot for a picnic so we hike into the grove. While
we are nestled in the trees a group of pronghorn wanders by at a distance
shorter than usual. We eat sandwiches, drink sparkling water, and talk about
the horses that we saw. After a meal in the shade, we decide to finish the drive
and head to camp.
On the last stretch of the tour I notice a silver horse, standing by himself
near the top of a ridge. When I flipped through the guidebook to the wild
horses in the park, the stallion named Anowhead captured my attention. The
horse ahead of us on the road has a coat that matches the silver tone of the
animal that struck me in the gift shop. I nudge Lynn and tell her, "Look. It's
Arrowhead." She catches a glimpse of the animal, but she only sees his hind­
quarters. As we approach, he slips over the horizon.
When we arrive at the top of the hill, we pull off the pavement to see if we
can find him. We look along the length of the ridge, but he is gone. I notice
a trail made by hooves leading down around a bend, so we start to follow
the path. Eventually, the trail shifts to the north and leads us to another view.
When we make it past the turn, we find the horse, along with a faraway look
out onto the landscape.
He appears thinner than the beast that struck me in the guidebook to the
park. If this is Arrowhead—the band stallion—it is an older and more solitary
version. He looks over his shoulder to examine us. He doesn't leave. At least,
not immediately. The animal takes a moment to think about who we are and
what we represent. Then he turns and continues down the path in the unhur­
ried way of old people who reach a phase where they become unflappable.
Lynn and I exchange a glance, confirming that we shouldn't follow him. We
just stand and watch him go.
With the mustang out of sight, we turn our thoughts to the land. The view
from the horse path is better than the one on the circle tour. From our vantage
point, we see farther than we could see from the road. The view is stunning, but
it is maned by the sight of oil derricks and machinery. In the first decade of the
2000s, the state of North Dakota underwent a boom in energy development.
CHAD HANSON

Chariton Review | 97

�The rigs are not in the park, but they were put in place along its boundary.
Rapid drilling gave the region a temporary economic boost, but it's easy to
imagine how Theodore Roosevelt would have fought the placement of indus­
trial equipment on the border of the park that bears his name.
As a native of New York, Roosevelt came of age in the city. His family
earned a fortune operating factories. He understood the value of commercial
endeavors. Roosevelt even made attempts to profit from a western ranch, but he
also understood the thoughtless nature of our lust for capital. His time in the
Badlands turned him into a prophet... or a shaman ... or a seer ... or a sage.
His journeys on the borderland between our culture and the wild places left in
America gave him insights that most of us never take the time to cultivate. He
looked past his own self-interest, and he saw through the mist of immediate
personal wishes that too often block our ability to make reflective judgments.
He looked into the future and saw our broader needs. In his words, "Our duty
to the whole ... bids us to restrain an unprincipled present-day minority from
wasting the heritage of unborn generations."
Roosevelt forged his character in the otherworldly landscapes of the West.
Of course, one could argue that his character was more than his alone. Some
might suggest, as a people, we cut the shape of the American character out on
the edges—in the frontier—where wildness and civilization buff each other
to a shine. Roosevelt believed that our spirits are best renewed in nature. In
his mind, that made wild places and wildlife worthy of protection. At times,
we've taken up conservation with zeal, but the fervor behind our efforts has
been waning. We've begun a practice of shrinking the monuments that we
established to guard the scenic wonders of the continent. We refuse to protect
threatened species on the outside chance that doing so might limit the activi­
ties of multinational corporations. Our own government agents remove wild
horses from public land, and then they wink when private parties ship them to
slaughter in Mexico.
The historian Lynn White once said, "What people do about ecology
depends on what they believe about who they are.” Who are we, in the end?
'There were times when, as a nation, we could have considered ourselves the
heirs of Theodore Roosevelt. Today, a claim like that would feel strained or
maybe even false. We let our culture back us into a corner—with careers on our
minds, phones in our hands, and a range of obligations spread out before us.
When we came to think of ourselves primarily as workers we grew intent on
consumption. After that, it became hard to hold any space open for adventure
or time spent in contemplation. When you're embedded in a way of life, it
becomes hard to imagine another type of existence. Even so, 1 am not telling
any secrets by suggesting there's a growing sense that, when it comes to the
character of our daily lives, and perhaps the course of the nation, something is
going wrong. But questions dog us at this juncture. What will we do?
Throughout the previous 30,000 years of human history we would have
likely turned to a shaman in times like these—a person with wisdom and
an ability to stand outside the norms and values that govern the actions of
the group. We don't turn to shamans anymore. Even if we did, I'm not sure
where we'd look. Still, as I watch the campfire on our last night in the park, it
98 I Chariton Review

CHAD HANSON

�occurs to me that Theodore Roosevelt's example may have little to do with the
importance of sages or shamans or critics or leaders. With my eyes stuck to the
flames twirling upward along the bank of the Little Missouri, 1 am reminded
that Roosevelt turned to no one for assistance. He looked to wild country at
watershed moments in his biography. Time and solitude were the tools he
used to re-story his life. He took to the wilderness as a way to refashion him­
self as a new kind of person.

It is quiet by the fireside. Lynn and I are both reflecting on the day. When
it's time to start thinking about going to bed, she stands and makes her way
toward the teepee.
From inside, I hear her ask, "Do you think that silver horse was Arrow­
head?"
I don't even have to think. I say, "Yeah. He's just a little older now."
At least, that's the memory I am taking with me from the trip, When it
comes to memories and the life stories that they stack up to form, we write
and curate them ourselves. On our last night in the park, that thought gives me
a measure of comfort. I take one last sip of wine from my Roosevelt souvenir
coffee mug. Then I toss the little bit that's left onto the campfire. The flame
shudders, but then it begins coming back. 'The fire continues to burn.

CHAD HANSON

Chariton Review | 99

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                    <text>Triage
by Chad Hanson

Two years ago, the library staff noticed that patrons were not

checking out any books. It started feeling like they just came to
the library to talk, lhey stood and talked and put their hands on
top of the hands of the librarians—right there at the circulation

desk—where they used to scan old volumes of Virginia Woolf.

At the same time, the staff learned that some patrons were
going as many as three weeks without the feel of someone else’s
skin touching their own. They changed their protocol up at the
desk.
Charlie listens to a librarian address people at the head of the
line. “What’ll it be? Pat on the back? A grip on the shoulder?”

He hears a woman ask, “Can I get a handshake with an extra
heartfelt grab on my forearm?” The librarian whispers, “Okay,
Honey.” Then the woman asks, “Could you include a knowing
look?” She offers the patron a soothing glance, and then she finds

a soft way to say: “Yes. Of course.”

55

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                    <text>Flyway: Journal of Writing and Environment

�The terms “migration route” and
“flyway” have in the past been used
more or less indiscriminately but
... it seems desirable to designate as

migration routes the individual lanes

of avian travel from breeding grounds

to winter quarters, and as flyways
those broader areas into which certain
migration routes blend or come
together....

—F.H. Kortright, The Ducks,
Geese and Swans ofNorth America

Flyway: Journal of
Writing and Environment
Vol. 14.1

�An Imaginary Fish
C
o
V5
a

nonfiction • flyway

I eat breakfast in diners, lhere are a number to choose from
in Casper, Wyoming, and they’re all similar. 'They’re full
of vinyl chairs and old men using salt and grease to hasten
their way into graveyards. Every ramshackle breakfast spot
in town has at least one waitress named Shirley, and even if
their names are really Megan or Janet, they could still pass
for Shirleys. My favorite egg and bacon hole stands next to
a truck stop on the interstate running beside the Bozeman
Trail. In its prime, the Tumbleweed Cafe served steak from
six to eleven, but the owners haven’t hosted a dinner in
fifteen years. 'They have all they can do to lure a counter full
of white males in for coffee before nine o’clock. I’m there at
quarter after eight.
When I moved to Wyoming, it became clear that
I was going to share meals with geologists if I was going to
frequent old diners. 'The regional economy has drawn earth
scientists to town for a century. In the early 1900s, a handful
of drillers found oil in quantities large enough to catch
the eye of petroleum giants Sinclair and Conoco. People
called Casper the “Oil City.” They projected it would grow
to become the hub of the Rockies—bigger than Denver.
It didn’t work out like that, but the fossils are still in the
ground, so we’re home to a high number of geoscientists.
I took geology as a freshman in college. I couldn’t
resist. Earth science did not relate to my major, but I didn’t
care. As a kid I spent entire afternoons walking gravel roads,
searching for agates. My parents gave me a rock polishing kit
in 1977. Every two months I loaded the tumbler and added
a cup of mysterious powder. When the machine shut off,
I opened the lid and found a container of gem stones. 'The
stripes and colors convinced me that there is enchantment
in the world beneath our feet.
I took that sense of awe with me to my geology
course, and I found a teacher whose sense of wonder
actually exceeded mine. Professor Ted Abrahams talked
about tectonic plates in a tone that I associate with religion.
I still use the terms and concepts that I learned—especially
when I’m on a road trip. 'The problem is that my wife gets
nervous when I point to the difference between igneous and

�64

flyway • nonfiction

Hanson

sedimentary rock through the window of the car at sixty
miles an hour.
When I began eavesdropping on the conversations
of geologists over breakfast, I noticed that the tone was less
than reverent. That took me by surprise. Mostly, the Earth
was referred to as a “son-of-a-bitch.” In truth, any person
or thing that came between these men and deposits of oil
were referred to this way: layers of bedrock, bureaucrats,
incompetent crews of employees. Come to think of it, most
people and things were referred to as sons-of-bitches. I don’t
mind that kind of talk. I use the terms myself. I use them
more than I should, but I like the old guys at the diner. I’m
looking forward to becoming one of them someday. I curse
as a way of practicing for life as a codger with nobody to
force me to behave myself. Son-of-a-bitch!

Today the conversation isn’t about drilling rigs, soil
composition, or the petroleum market. The subject this
morning is fly fishing. Jimmy drove over from Glenrock.
He dropped his wife off at the shopping mall. Fred asks
him what he's been up to and he explains that he fished the
Laramie River yesterday. I chime in that I’ve heard good
reports from the south fork of the stream.
Jimmy says, “Yeah. We did alright. My grandson
caught a half a dozen brook trout. We ate them on shore.
That kid is gonna be a fisherman.”
I go back to reading my copy of Desert Solitaire.
Fred asks Jim, “Have you fished Porter Creek?”
He replies, “No. I think that’s private land. I haven’t
asked permission to fish, but I heard there are bull trout over
there.”
Fred and Jim continue to talk about the area.
I continue to pretend that I’m reading, but I can’t read
because I’m busy listening to them. Jim explains that
you can access the water on pubhc land if you drive
south to Wheatland and then go west on a dirt road. The
stream carves a canyon into the east slope of the Laramie
Mountains. A rancher by the name of Hemstead owns the
property along the foothills of the range, but the creek
starts in the high country on land within the Medicine Bow
National Forest.

�Jim tells Fred about a rumor that Hemstead’s
grandfather used to bring buckets of bull trout back from
Montana. He says, “Ihe ospreys and pelicans ate most of
them, but the wise ones hunkered down, became adults, and
now they reproduce.”
Fred says, “I’ve heard about bull trout. Ihey’re like
brookies, but they’re big and aggressive.”
Jimmy says, “Brook-trout-a-go-go.”

An Imaginary
Fish

Two days later. I’m headed to Porter Creek. I’ve read about
bull trout. They’re endangered. Their standards for clean
water are high, and the number of western streams pure
enough for them shrunk in the twentieth century. Today, the
fish are protected. James Prosek painted a picture of a bull in
his masterful book of illustrations titled. Trout. The mixture
of uncommonness and beauty prompted me to drive down
past Wheatland and then west to the Medicine Bow.

While I’m loading my backpack in the car, my wife steps into
the garage with the helmet I use for skateboarding. She says,
“Take this with you.” She worries when I travel by myself,
especially when I set out for a new canyon. I don’t try hard
enough to ease her fears. I actually raise her level of concern
with stories of rattlesnakes and brushes with death on the
edges of cliffs. What can I say? It’s nice to have someone who
worries about you.
The stories are easy to exaggerate. Canyons can beat
you up. I come home with scrapes on my elbows and knees.
Once, I came home with a case of poison ivy that ran from
my toes up to a spot where you would not want a skin rash.
Another time, I had to climb home with a gash on my ankle
so deep it revealed the bone. I’m not about to start wearing a
helmet when I fish, but I promise Lynn I’ll come back safe.
There is no trail to Porter Creek. Still, I find a spot where
people park their cars. I am not the first one to make the
descent. It looks simple enough. The gorge is four hundred
feet deep, and I manage without having to climb. There is
just one place where I have to hang by my hands and drop
over a ledge.
Once I’m on shore, I fit the pieces of my fly rod
together. I slip out of my boots and into a pair of sandals.

65

�66

flyway • nonfiction

Hanson

I tie a Goddard’s caddis fly to the end of my line, and then
take a seat on a downed tree. Beside a creek, I usually get
so excited I charge into the water, flailing like an idiot. This
time I take stock of what lies before me, above me, and
to the sides. Fifteen minutes pass. It’s easy to spend time
watching a stream: stripes on a canyon wall, the shapes of
cottonwoods along the bank, pillows of water bubbling up
behind boulders.
In contrast, no one takes time to stare at a football
field. Baseball diamonds don’t inspire, and I’ve never heard
of anybody getting lost in the majesty of a hockey arena.
I am reluctant to compare fishing to other sports. I don’t
think of angling as a sport. I don’t really know what to call it,
except “something I have to do, despite several good reasons
not too.”
'This isn’t my first staring contest with a creek. I am
thankful for my sunglasses. A harsh light beats on Wyoming.
Low elevation states have a mile’s worth of atmosphere
to take the edge off of the rays. In the West, we’re right up
on the sun. 'The light can burn in ways that we don’t even
understand.

My wife and I met in Tucson. We rented our first apartment
from an artist by the name ofJohn Botrell. The walls of his
studio were lined with eight by ten foot desert scenes. At
first, I assumed the pictures were photographs. While he
sifted through a stack of paper, searching for the proper
lease to sign, I took a close look at the images. 'They were
paintings—perfect reproductions of the local scenery.
When I asked about his process, he explained that he mixes
a dollop of white paint into every color on his palette. In the
end, the shades and tones match our squint-eyed view of the
landscape.
The precision of the work struck me, but I am a
fan of more impressionistic art. I like it when painters take
some creative license. When it comes to reahsm, I say, “Get a
camera if you want to make a photograph.”

On our way home, I asked Lynn, “Isn’t he just
another realist, trying to recreate the desert with tiny camelhair brushes?”
She replied, “No.”

�Then after a moment of silence^ she said, “He is a

cactus.”

An imaginary
Fish

My line falls onto the water. Then it drifts toward me on the
creek. I pick up the fly and toss it over and over. I watch the
course of the fake bug on the current every time.
I fish dry flies. Ihat means I fish sporadically. Mostly,
I take to the water when bugs hatch off of the surface.
I’ve never felt the need to keep a strict angling schedule. I
have friends that take pride in fishing across the calendar,
including December and January. Others spend a hundred
days on the water every year. Such efforts are very American.
When we enjoy something, we tend to take that thing to an
extreme.
For example, I have a colleague I cannot picture
without a pipe full of tobacco jutting from between his
teeth. Of course, there is nothing wrong with enjoying the
smoke from a bowl of burning tobacco. I bring a pipe with
me when I pack into the Big Horn Range. Once or twice a
year, around sunset, I like to commemorate a moment spent
alone at the base of a granite cirque. But a dozen times a
day? Every single day that you’re alive?
White people learned about tobacco from Native
Americans. Ihe plant does not grow in Europe. For a
thousand years, native people coaxed smoke from the leaves
of the plant they called “kinnikinnick.” They used it for
ceremonial purposes. Tobacco played a role in attempts at
diplomacy. A chief would inhale smoke from a pipe, raise it
in the direction of the four winds, and then pass it on. The
ritual formed and then helped to maintain relationships. The
smoldering leaves made the men’s breath and the air around
them visible—it symbolized their common bond to the
Earth and its atmosphere. White people turned the act into a
meaningless habit.
I continue to cast, and my attention shifts to the geologists at
the diner. Fred and Jim spent their careers drilling, dredging,
stripping, and otherwise ruining the land, but when they
talked about the possibility of bull trout up on Porter Creek,
their eyes shone. They liked the thought that someone gave
the rare fish a new habitat.

67

�Hanson

Westerners have an odd relationship with the
environment. For generations, newcomers took what they
wanted. At various times, waves of settlers flocked to the
region to fulfill their ambitions: miners, loggers, trappers,
homesteaders, buffalo hunters, and today, a combination of
roughnecks and corporate executives. Museums are full of
sepia-toned photos of men with waxed moustaches posed
in front of sawmills, mines, drill towers, and mountains
of bison skulls. We spent two hundred years acting like
voracious adolescents.

flyway • nonfiction

Not long ago, our culture and history met up with a
population of bull trout struggling to hold their place in
the Jarbidge Wilderness of Nevada. Jarbidge, Nevada isn’t
on the way to anything. It’s a tiny berg at the end of a gravel
road. Its population is made up of ranchers, prospectors, and
an assortment of people who dropped out of society. It’s a
prickly bunch. They’re isolated and committed to a way of
life that began four branches up their family trees.
In 1998, a storm washed out a road that ran
alongside the Jarbidge River. The road led to the wilderness
area north of town. When the Forest Service heard about
the damage, they decided to close the road as opposed to
having it repaired. They based their choice on a concern for
the bull trout in the river. They assumed that road building
in Jarbidge Canyon would increase the amount of silt
running downstream, and bull trout cannot tolerate any dirt
in the water. Their gills evolved in clear creeks. Anything less
than pure can snuff them out.
The people ofJarbidge did not like the decision. The
thought that they would have to alter their driving habits
for a fish sent them into an angry funk. They protested
the ruling that prevented them from using public land for
their private purposes. At first, the protest took the form of
letters and telephone conversations, but those efforts did
not succeed. In the face of having to bend their interests to
those of a threatened trout, the people ofJarbidge began
to organize a full-scale public tantrum. They started laying
plans for a “shovel brigade.”
On July 4th, 2000, a hundred people gathered to
rebuild the road that had been closed to save the bull trout
in the river. The event seized the attention of the media.

�Interviewees vented their frustration. They trumpeted their
right to do what they pleased on the land their ancestors
stole from Native Americans. Actually, they left out the part
about living on stolen land and borrowed time. Nobody
even mentioned trout—the sole reason the Forest Service
decided not to fix the road.

An imaginary
Fish

People like using public land as they see fit.
Throughout our history we encouraged that tendency—for
example, we used the Hard Rock Mining Act of 1872 to
help settle the Rockies. We said, “There’s gold in them thar
hills!” and we told people to go out and get some. Although,
at the time, that meant gray haired old guys with teams of
mules were lighting out for the territory. It was quaint and
romantic. I grew up watching Grizzly Adams in prime time. I
know the story. You do too.
So do the people ofJarbidge, Nevada. They know
the tale perhaps too well. The story says, “Big, wild men
should do what they want in this big, wild world.” The story
made sense in the 1800s. The problem is that it’s not the
1800s anymore. The twenty-first century world isn’t big
or wild. It’s indefatigably small, and some of its pieces are
shrinking and threatening to vanish forever.
The America where everybody takes what they
want, without a thought toward the consequence is gone.
The Hard Rock Mining Act of 1872 is still the law of the
land, but lately gray haired men with teams of mules are not
the ones taking advantage of its provisions. Today, corporate
giants based in places like England, Denmark, and Canada
use the law to extract oil and minerals from the American
West. The quaint, romantic story about striking out on your
own and making it big as a freedom-loving individual turned
into the story of how corporations use lawyers and lobbyists
to take what they want from states hke Wyoming, New
Mexico, and Montana.
I decide to hike upstream on shore. Porter Creek’s
streambed is pocked with boulders, each one a potential
hiding place for trout. Twenty yards along I fling a fly onto
the water upstream from a rock. The bug drifts along the
near side of the stone and vanishes—gulped by a fish.
The trout runs for a deep stretch and I follow him
through the current. I make it to the edge of the pool, but

o

5’
o'
o

69

�Hanson

I’m up to my waist, so I cannot wade any further. I let the
bend and flex of the rod wear the fish out to the point where
I can pull him toward me. It’s a brook trout—just a common
fish. He is spectacular. I don’t hold him for too long. I release
the hook from his jaw and then ease him back into the creek.
The stream fishes well through the morning and into
the afternoon. I catch seven brook trout within a mile of my
vehicle. The rock cliffs on both sides of the creek close in
and grow taller as I make my way upstream. When I stop, the
gap between the walls creates a narrow band of sky up at the
canyon’s rim. Through the slot I watch two prairie falcons
soar in circles, sliding into and out of view.

70

flyway • nonfiction

On the bank, beside the water, I develop a theory. Bull
trout never swam the pools of Porter Creek. I’m afraid the
geologists at the Tumbleweed Cafe are mildly delusional,
but I forgive them. They are old. They spent forty years
working to help corporations extract profits from the public
land in Wyoming. When they were young, I’m sure that
seemed like a sound choice. The business gave them stature,
built six- and seven-bedroom homes, put Cadillacs and
pickup trucks in three car garages. Even so, at some point,
people grow tired of seeing their plains and forests bought
up and ravaged by multinational companies. At some point
you start to root for the underdog, even when the dog is an
imaginary fish.

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                    <text>EMERGENCY CONTACT

CHAD HANSON
poetry

The phone rings in the middle of the night. She’s
hesitant, but she answers. It’s the hospital. They
have a patient, just transferred out of intensive
care. Morris Baxter. “He listed you as his
emergency contact.” She says, “Excuse me?” The
voice on the phone tells her, “Baxter,” and she
hangs up. She assumes it is a prank. But then she
starts to wonder. Do I know a Morris? Have I ever
met a Morris?
She takes a cab to the hospital. They show her to
his room. She doesn’t know the man.

The next day, Morris opens his eyes. He rolls over
and he stands up. When they discharge him, he
finds her waiting outside in a taxi.

SANTA CLARA REVIEW | 39

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