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                    <text>16
Tyler Cooper
Fiction
I loved the lake.

I practically grew up at the lake. I mean, I was one of those
chubby, tan kids in the neighborhood that was always in some
sort of swim trunks. Constantly gone in the summer because I
was lucky enough to have a camper on the water, new jet skis, and
old parents that could pretend to love each other out there. It’s
a kid’s dream. Every weekend I was there swimming and joking
with cousins and friends. It was a safe place; it told me summer
was here. It’s where my dad wasn’t angry, and my mom wasn’t
scared of him. Abetter home. At the lake, I caught my first fish,
had my first burger, my first sip of beer, and my first “talk” with my
dad. It seemed better. I was an anxious kid. Too stressed to play
soldiers without nitpicking every detail of my friends and how they
marched. Too scared to ride my bike without a helmet because I
knew if I got caught, there would be dire consequences. But at the
lake, there were no consequences; it was just fun and independence.
True living, free living. Something I and every kid want. Being their
own pirate captain with no rules. The lake was where that was
possible.
We would go every 4th ofJuly to jet ski, fish, get drunk,
and eat hotdogs. You know, like true Americans trying to forget
all of the problems with their country It was the summer of 2020,
and we Americans needed a break, real bad. The world was falling
apart, and all I wanted to do was go to the one place where it felt
normal. So we loaded up and went out. Everyone, my family, my
extended family, not to mention all of Casper and all of Wyoming,
at the lake, my safe space. I had just turned 16, too, so I could ride
and fish all by myself. The odd birthmarkrshaped lake, with its dark
green sparkling waters, and virgin dusty shores for exploring and
91

�i6

fishing, were all mine. I remember that 4th ofJuly; it’s still ripe
in my mind. Walking down the dock with a pole in hand, neon
power bait, and garlic corn musk in the other. Sending out the cast
with grace, feeling the world fall away, as I waited, feeling for any
sudden jolt. Then, ripping them out of the water as soon as they bit
down. Feeling reality rush back as I tried to hold the slimy trout.
Watching it flip in shock as they hit the dock over and over again.
Beating itself into a bloody pulp. It raised my ego and my macho.
Big and looming over this small thing that I had bested. Looking
into its dark black eyes, saying, “/ controlyour life” A young Ernest
Hemingway with my own marlin. It was my lake and my fish. And
the jet ski only made this feeling bigger.
Going 80 on open water, getting pushed back from the
speed. Feeling the wind blow through my hair and drying off
the droplets of water from my face. Ripping past drunk college
students on pontoons. Winning race after race and tasting the cold
water with each finish line. I was Tom Cruise, and the jetski was my
fighter jet. Blasting Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA” through
the jet skis, speakers. Not knowing what the song truly meant. But
it’s the lake; you’re not supposed to think. Hour after hour, I would
taunt my cousins to race me.
“Watch out behind pig fucker!” I would scream from behind
to add insult to injury “Oh suck my dick!” My cousins would
scream back. They wouldn’t dare trying to catch up to me. I was
going too fast and too dangerous for them. But I wouldn’t get hurt;
it’s the lake — no one ever does or did.
As we floated on the shallows, a man slipped off the dock
and into the water. It was embarrassing. I knew what it was like.
I flipped off my jet ski two times earlier that day. And that year, it
was particularly cold; I mean practically glacier water. 'You know, so
cold it takes your breath away? But as long as you kept breathing,
you were ok; that’s what we were taught. Cold and covered in
Shame, but you always got back up. Casper natives always did
out in the cold water. Your dad would throw you in at 6 years
old, telling you to breathe. Telling you not to be a nancy boy or a
“pussy” It was a right of passage.
But he wasn’t from Casper. He re-emerged to the surface,
frantically trying to keep up from the dark water. I floated there
watching, feeling anxiety of the neighborhood return up my spine.
92

�iii

His family started to scream. I sat and watched on my jet ski,
breathless, scared. Why isn’t anyone doing anything? His family
dived to get him hoping to save him; I sat and watched on my jet
ski on my lake. Feeling a knife enter my heart as they screamed;
when he went into a seizure from shock of the water, I sat and
watched from my jet ski on my lake. Spectators were gathered all
peering into their future caution story that they would tell their
kids. His family called the ambulance as he hit his head again,
again, and again on the dock, more and more blood rushing into
the dark green water with each bash. And I sat there on my jet ski
on the lake. He flipped and flopped like a fish that had been ripped
from the water.
I felt like a boy on my jet ski; how could this happen here? I
saw his eyes turn white like a fish that has been bested. I watched
him die, blood caked in his hair, life pouring out of his head and
into the lake. Hearing his mom scream to everyone watching.
“Why didn’t you do anything!?” From a jet ski, on the lake.
I watched as the paramedics pronounced him dead, on a jet ski, on
some body of water. Feeling as cold as the water, he fell in.
I don’t like the lake anymore...

93

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                    <text>D lurtiiuc $tar$
Matthew Orszulak
Fiction
They threw the ninth spoon out the window with a
frustrated scream. It sailed through the clear summer air and
hit the fence, making a dull sound, and fell onto the pile of its
gruesomely made constituents.
Cedar put their head in their hands, shaking with
frustration. Everything they made was shit, all of it. There wasn’t
a single thing they’d made in the past three months that was
worthwhile. Everything they were referring to, of course, were
small, intricately made spoons. The pile outside was filled with
seventeen spoons at the moment, though more would surely arrive
via a short one-way flight tomorrow morning when Cedar sat down
to work again.
But right now, they left the materials haphazardly strewn
across the work table and instead got up to go for a walk. The air
still held residual heat from the mid-July day, but now that the sun
was beginning its slow descent, it was cool enough to bear even the
thought of going outside.
Cedar stomped down the hallway, the boards that usually
creaked letting out screams beneath their enraged footfalls. AU
those stupid spoons, all that work, and not one that’s actually worth it,
they thought, hastily reaching for their coat. Why didgrandpa leave
me thisplace anyways? He’d be so disappointed tofind out I can’t make
anything worth a damn.
The coat would not come unhooked, and for a brief
moment. Cedar considered tearing the hook right out of the stud
wall before setting the whole house on fire. In moments like this,
it was recommended they count down from ten. They made it to
eight before letting out a slew of colorful language and deciding it
was warm enough to go without.
In an instant they were on the sidewalk, continuing their
94

�Daytime Stars

mumbled tirade about the worthlessness of the singular hobby
they’d once enjoyed. The sidewalk was empty save for a neighbor
across the street, sitting on the porch and likely succeeding in
achieving the peace Cedar was desperately attempting. They raised
their hand in greeting, and Cedar gave a tight nod before stuffing
their hands in their jean pockets. After a while, they made the turn
up around the block, continuing the therapist-recommended deep
breaths. Why did Grandpa leave them the stupid house anyway?
Sure, it was nice having a place to live that was not someone
else’s couch, but it still proved that Cedar really was useless at
everything, including the one thing they so desperately wanted to
be good at.
But the walk proved effective, as it had so many times
before. By the time they were coming down the path back to the
large blue house, the anger had almost ebbed away completely, and
it dashed completely when they saw someone was in the yard.
A strange figure with long dark hair crouched along the
side of the fence, picking something up. She might not have heard
Cedar coming, but she certainly did when they started yelling.
“Who the hell are you?” they asked indignantly, striding up.
She scrambled away, dropping what she was holding, and as it hit
the dust, Cedar realized what it was. One of the spoons, one they’d
made yesterday with the red glass embedded in the handle.
“Oh! Sorry, are these yours? I didn’t realize, you just...
they’re always here and I figured I’d put them to good use,” the
stranger said. She looked about Cedar’s age, staring at them and
brushing a strand of hair out of her face.
“No it’s just... they’re pretty garbage, aren’t they?” Cedar
said, still staring down at the dusty spoon. They knelt and picked
it up, running fingers over the filigree. All they could see was
where the joint had melted too much, where the dents of mistaken
hammer strokes scarred the metal. The stranger let out a laugh as
they handed it to her, shaking her head.
“Garbage? Are you kidding? These are beautiful,” she said.
‘And when the light catches them, gosh, they look like daytime
stars.”
“They look like what?” All Cedar could picture was the sim,
shining ruthlessly on a pile of awful garbage they’d made with their
awful garbage hands.

95

�Daytime Stars

“Daytime stars! Come see,” she said, turning on her heel
and walking off. Cedar hesitated for a moment, weighing the risk
of following a spoon-thieving stranger, but the mysterious allure of
daytime stars was too great.
The two walked up the block and toward the long
abandoned lot that most in the neighborhood accepted as an
irremovable eyesore. They weaved around the pile of rotting wood
that was once a house and through the tall bushes to the towering
oak tree. Cedar watched as the stranger walked around the back,
scaling a rather precarious-looking ladder, and disappeared into the
wooden hole of a treehouse. How had they not realized this was
here?
The stranger’s face reappeared, and she blew a couple of
strands of hair out of her face before flashing a grin.
‘Are you coming or what?”
Cedar looked around, wondering how long it would take for
medical help to arrive if they perished on this ladder. The girl had
taken it without hesitation, and that would have to be enough.
They started the climb and poked up through the wooden
floor before letting out a gasp. The girl was sitting cross-legged
on a blanket, surrounded by the reflected light of hundreds of
spoons that had been tied to the roof. The setting sun poked its
rays through the window, lighting up the faces of the spoons and
splitting hundreds of tiny rays onto the walls. It reminded them
almost of a disco ball if each ray of light could dance on its own.
“'Vbu... you made this?” they asked, clambering into the
treehouse and sitting down.
“"You made them! You’re the one in the window!” she said,
looking around. Cedar stared at her, the lights dancing, making her
eyes glow. One was right on her eye, highlighting the emerald green
against chestnut brown hair.
“Yeah but they’re... so bad,” they protested, staring up at the
spoons with wonder. Daytime stars.
The girl shrugged, watching Cedar with a smile.
“They look fine to me,” she said, looking up at them again.
“Where did you learn how to make them?”
Cedar hesitated, thinking of the summer days when they
were young enough that everything they made was good and
everything their grandfather made was perfect.
96

�Daytime Start

“My grandpa taught me when I was little,” they said,
watching the soft breeze make the lights dance even more. “He
picked up the hobby from god knows where, but I thought it the
coolest thing in the world. I used to be okay, but now that I’ve
started doing it again I can’t make anything good.”
The girl smiled again. “Maybe you just need to look at it
from a different perspective?”
Cedar shrugged and looked over, watching her brilliant
smile.
“I guess. What’s your name, spoon thief?”
Her name was Fern, and she loved daytime stars. And
though neither of them knew it yet, she loved Cedar too.

97

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                <text>Expression Literary and Arts Magazine, CCA 04.ii.c.2022.01 WyCaC US. Casper College Archives and Special Collections.</text>
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                <text>Searchable PDF</text>
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                <text>Casper College</text>
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