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Michael Downing

New world disorder
Flowing across the border
Offering higher highs
As addicts lives get shorter

Fentanyl streams
Like a cartel boss’ dreams
The land of milk and honey
American tax-free money
Heroine with a fentanyl lace
Overdoses at a record pace
Don’t worry, the system’s fine
A war on drugs, pay it no mind

Government officials never lie
While our youth die
The F.D.A. says oxycontin’s-good
America clearly misunderstood

It was good for the undertaker
And owners of automated pill-makers
Greedy writers and fillers
Of millions of legal prescriptions

185

�COMING TO AMERICA

Big pharma
Corporate laws
Have kept them free from conviction
But how’s their Karma?
Sorry, don't mean to be a cynic
What about this opioid epidemic?
Another crack house
Turned into a pain clinic
As for the junkies
Big pharma created
New seekers of relief from withdrawals
That need alleviated
Demands were quickly filled
By the innovative,
South of the border
Masters of disorder

Cartel bosses now in charge
Of heroin and fentanyl orders
Using peasant farmers as
Chemists, mules and exporters

Wooden stick stirring
Rubber glove-wearing
Previously poverty-stricken
Opportunistics

Southern hills smoking
Like a Hobbit’s Mordor
As toxic fumes swirl up
And sting the grieving eyes of America
i86

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                    <text>lientitg an6 fxi(e
Michael Downing
Who am I?
How did I get here?
It seems it’s been
One long dream
All of a sudden
I awoke
Exiled on death row
Amongst this steady
Stream of murderers
And freakish castaways
Condemned to dry bread
I choke
Addiction was my ticket
To this life sentence
Self-centered quest
To feed my disease
Made me a menace
Now that I feel again,
I’m lost
I lie awake at night
Baring my soul to myself
Misunderstood
Like a puppet
Longing for another chance
To be considered real
But trapped upon
A dusty closet shelf
I’m lost

190

�Identity and Exile

Reduced to living
Inside my head
Not set adrift
On memory bliss
But stranded in time
Like a sunken pirate ship
Living souls of the dead
As my mind’s eye sails
Tumultuous seas of my past
Allowing me to view
The start
Of many a promising voyage
The evil forces of addiction
Would never allow to last
Black clouds quickly overtook
The gentle breezes
And blue skies
Of periodic success
From dusk till dawn
I went from living well
To everything in my life
A complete mess
The sinister, cunning lion
That is my disease
Took the powerful tools
Of a bright eyed boy
Turned them into an affliction
A dereliction of his-self

191

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                    <text>ii$e W
Michael Downing
Don't despair
Poor choices
Have made it hard
To move out there
Hopes and dreams
Shrinking
Like a puddle
You against the world
In an epic struggle
Hiding in the weeds
Hoping nobody ties you
To your dirty deeds
Just another
Nevei^do-well
On addiction’s carousel
The symptoms
Of your disease
Set you up to fail

Coming down, withdrawals
And your lifestyle
Left you weak and frail
You were so strong and proud
Until addiction
Took the silver lining
From your cloud
Telling you nothing new
Out there to discover
No cure
For addiction’s thuggery

193

�Rise UP

What about recovery
Let’s do it together
Weather the storm
'Vbu weren’t born
To ride that roller coaster
You’re more than a face
On a wanted poster

We can rise up
Everyday like the sun
Battling demons
That began with “just one”
Those days are done
Now, a thousands never enough
We’ll rise up a thousand times
And a thousand more
If that's not enough
We’ll rise up
Rise like a wave
And just ride
Away,
From an early grave
Rise, until your untied
From the demons,
Screaming your name
Rise up,
No longer tied
To the daily pain
Nothing left to lose
And the world to gain
Only you can chose
To come in from the rain

194

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                    <text>&lt;ira6e$ ofWtR
Michael Downing
I listen for
Your haunted screams
In that direction I run
Guiding you through
Your darkest dreams
To return you to the sun

Evil forces lie in wait
Searching
For lost souls
To penetrate
Preferably ones
In tattered states
Those suffering great,
As of late
Perhaps victims
Of a tragic twist of fate
The drug addicted,
Whose self inflicted pain
Runs deeper
Than a junkie’s vein
These are those
Willing to die
If they could feel
What they felt
The first time
They got high
There are many souls
On addiction’s fringe
Who’d cross to the darkside
For a loaded syringe
201

�Tirades OfTruth

One shot of whiskey
Begins
An alcoholic’s last binge
There are many willing
VC^th lives unfulfilling
Stooping to the lowest lows
Who’ve lost all feeling
The voice in their head
Wants them to believe
They’re already dead
Another lost soul
What their tombstone read
Wait a minute
Hold on a sec
If there's a breath
Still in our lungs
A word of hope and healing
Left on our tongues
Why can’t we
Turn things around
Battle the demons
That use addiction
To lead us aground
Listen to the whisperings
Of a higher power
Calling us to fight
It’s now or never
The enemy is insidious
Baffling and clever
Listen to the drums
Rolling thunder
Visions of lightning,
Brightening,
Once dim sky
The battle is nigh
It’s our time to shine
Recovery first
202

�Tirades OfTruth

In our lives
On the front line
In this mission
From the divine
Our marching orders clear
Be a cancer
Or be the cure
The message,
Once obscure
Will become clear
And take flight
To the universe
We’ll make amends

HOPE.
{Hold On Pain Ends}

If we heal the defect
The side effect might be
Connection
Instead of isolation
Uncertainty and fear
Might become
Self esteem, humility,
And a realization
That there’s more to life
Than addictions thuggery
There’s light in the darkness
There’s life in recovery

203

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                    <text>^LINT LOCK PROM FLINT LOCK RIFLE.
BUFFALO BULLET AND ARMY SHELL.

LOANED BY MIKE ROGERS.

JUNE 21 1961.

BULLET found NEAR FORT CASPER
Donated by Donald Hines

�</text>
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Moira Amelotte
I’m not sure why he chose me
As I started my journey of grief.

There were others with likewise injury

That could have needed his relief.

He must have seen my heart of holes,

My heartstrings, bitter and frayed;
He must have known my troubled soul.

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He fixed me with those mismatched eyes.

With both heaven and earth he sees;
No sooner had I thought I'd die,
He chose to stand by me.

Dogs always know,

Although how I don’t;

As if with opened chests we show

The seeds we’ve sown;
The thoughts we grow;
How broken are our homes.

These darkened thoughts may come to pass.

One way or another.
Though for help I’ll never have to ask,
From the dog that belonged to my brother.

XXtl

Cxpussian Magazine.

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