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                    <text>D lurtiiuc $tar$
Matthew Orszulak
Fiction
They threw the ninth spoon out the window with a
frustrated scream. It sailed through the clear summer air and
hit the fence, making a dull sound, and fell onto the pile of its
gruesomely made constituents.
Cedar put their head in their hands, shaking with
frustration. Everything they made was shit, all of it. There wasn’t
a single thing they’d made in the past three months that was
worthwhile. Everything they were referring to, of course, were
small, intricately made spoons. The pile outside was filled with
seventeen spoons at the moment, though more would surely arrive
via a short one-way flight tomorrow morning when Cedar sat down
to work again.
But right now, they left the materials haphazardly strewn
across the work table and instead got up to go for a walk. The air
still held residual heat from the mid-July day, but now that the sun
was beginning its slow descent, it was cool enough to bear even the
thought of going outside.
Cedar stomped down the hallway, the boards that usually
creaked letting out screams beneath their enraged footfalls. AU
those stupid spoons, all that work, and not one that’s actually worth it,
they thought, hastily reaching for their coat. Why didgrandpa leave
me thisplace anyways? He’d be so disappointed tofind out I can’t make
anything worth a damn.
The coat would not come unhooked, and for a brief
moment. Cedar considered tearing the hook right out of the stud
wall before setting the whole house on fire. In moments like this,
it was recommended they count down from ten. They made it to
eight before letting out a slew of colorful language and deciding it
was warm enough to go without.
In an instant they were on the sidewalk, continuing their
94

�Daytime Stars

mumbled tirade about the worthlessness of the singular hobby
they’d once enjoyed. The sidewalk was empty save for a neighbor
across the street, sitting on the porch and likely succeeding in
achieving the peace Cedar was desperately attempting. They raised
their hand in greeting, and Cedar gave a tight nod before stuffing
their hands in their jean pockets. After a while, they made the turn
up around the block, continuing the therapist-recommended deep
breaths. Why did Grandpa leave them the stupid house anyway?
Sure, it was nice having a place to live that was not someone
else’s couch, but it still proved that Cedar really was useless at
everything, including the one thing they so desperately wanted to
be good at.
But the walk proved effective, as it had so many times
before. By the time they were coming down the path back to the
large blue house, the anger had almost ebbed away completely, and
it dashed completely when they saw someone was in the yard.
A strange figure with long dark hair crouched along the
side of the fence, picking something up. She might not have heard
Cedar coming, but she certainly did when they started yelling.
“Who the hell are you?” they asked indignantly, striding up.
She scrambled away, dropping what she was holding, and as it hit
the dust, Cedar realized what it was. One of the spoons, one they’d
made yesterday with the red glass embedded in the handle.
“Oh! Sorry, are these yours? I didn’t realize, you just...
they’re always here and I figured I’d put them to good use,” the
stranger said. She looked about Cedar’s age, staring at them and
brushing a strand of hair out of her face.
“No it’s just... they’re pretty garbage, aren’t they?” Cedar
said, still staring down at the dusty spoon. They knelt and picked
it up, running fingers over the filigree. All they could see was
where the joint had melted too much, where the dents of mistaken
hammer strokes scarred the metal. The stranger let out a laugh as
they handed it to her, shaking her head.
“Garbage? Are you kidding? These are beautiful,” she said.
‘And when the light catches them, gosh, they look like daytime
stars.”
“They look like what?” All Cedar could picture was the sim,
shining ruthlessly on a pile of awful garbage they’d made with their
awful garbage hands.

95

�Daytime Stars

“Daytime stars! Come see,” she said, turning on her heel
and walking off. Cedar hesitated for a moment, weighing the risk
of following a spoon-thieving stranger, but the mysterious allure of
daytime stars was too great.
The two walked up the block and toward the long
abandoned lot that most in the neighborhood accepted as an
irremovable eyesore. They weaved around the pile of rotting wood
that was once a house and through the tall bushes to the towering
oak tree. Cedar watched as the stranger walked around the back,
scaling a rather precarious-looking ladder, and disappeared into the
wooden hole of a treehouse. How had they not realized this was
here?
The stranger’s face reappeared, and she blew a couple of
strands of hair out of her face before flashing a grin.
‘Are you coming or what?”
Cedar looked around, wondering how long it would take for
medical help to arrive if they perished on this ladder. The girl had
taken it without hesitation, and that would have to be enough.
They started the climb and poked up through the wooden
floor before letting out a gasp. The girl was sitting cross-legged
on a blanket, surrounded by the reflected light of hundreds of
spoons that had been tied to the roof. The setting sun poked its
rays through the window, lighting up the faces of the spoons and
splitting hundreds of tiny rays onto the walls. It reminded them
almost of a disco ball if each ray of light could dance on its own.
“'Vbu... you made this?” they asked, clambering into the
treehouse and sitting down.
“"You made them! You’re the one in the window!” she said,
looking around. Cedar stared at her, the lights dancing, making her
eyes glow. One was right on her eye, highlighting the emerald green
against chestnut brown hair.
“Yeah but they’re... so bad,” they protested, staring up at the
spoons with wonder. Daytime stars.
The girl shrugged, watching Cedar with a smile.
“They look fine to me,” she said, looking up at them again.
“Where did you learn how to make them?”
Cedar hesitated, thinking of the summer days when they
were young enough that everything they made was good and
everything their grandfather made was perfect.
96

�Daytime Start

“My grandpa taught me when I was little,” they said,
watching the soft breeze make the lights dance even more. “He
picked up the hobby from god knows where, but I thought it the
coolest thing in the world. I used to be okay, but now that I’ve
started doing it again I can’t make anything good.”
The girl smiled again. “Maybe you just need to look at it
from a different perspective?”
Cedar shrugged and looked over, watching her brilliant
smile.
“I guess. What’s your name, spoon thief?”
Her name was Fern, and she loved daytime stars. And
though neither of them knew it yet, she loved Cedar too.

97

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                    <text>Chi’ Ciiuui’f
Matthew Orszulak
Fiction
A clock is ticking in the tunnel underneath the now
abandoned Louis Street. They closed the road and the tunnel
beneath after seven victims were found laying in a line like a
barricade. They were in various states of decay, all of them with
the time 2:27 carved into them. That was seven years ago, and the
ticking can still be heard in the tunnel.

On the night of May seventeenth, Jeremy Mason’s friends
were playing truth or dare in Morrison park, a short hike away from
Louis Street. The dare Jeremy received was simple. Step into the
tunnel. Wait until 2:27 melted into 2:30. Emerge on the other side.
It should have been an easy task.
Jacob “Jackie” Stevenson couldn’t remember much about
that night. Truth was, he was already four beers in by the time
Emile dared Jeremy to go in Carver’s Tunnel. He shuddered at
the thought of spending even a second down there. The only
experience he’d had with it was as a child on the walking path,
before everyone called it Carver’s tunnel. Before the newspaper
headlines and candlelit vigils, the closure of the walking path and
Louis Street. Before the lack of further funding let it fade into an
infamous myth. Before all of that, at eleven years old, something in
his soul knew to stay the hell away from the Louis Street Tunnel.
But Emile moved here two years ago when the tunnel
had already cemented itself as a graffiti-filled legend. So he dared
Jeremy to spend a couple minutes in the tunnel. On other nights,
Jackie would have been able to talk both his friends out of such a
stupid idea, but tonight, Jeremy and Emile were both so alcoholgone there was no convincing them otherwise.
So they marched down the walking path and up to the road.
The night was so black it felt like moving through a dense fog.
122

�The Tunnel

Even with their phone flashlights, the visible path in front of them
faded away a few feet in front of them.
The roadblocks stood like headstones. Next to them, in
the overgrown weeds and grass, stood the ‘Sentinel Hills’ sign. The
promise of high-income housing built within the year had long
since been spray painted over, now only displaying a crude diagram
of what Oakridge teenagers found funny
They hopped the blocks, sneakers echoing. Louis Street
seemed unnaturally quiet compared to the rest of the town. Even
in the secluded Morrison park, cars could be heard on the far
off highway. But here? It was as if every other sound sat hushed,
listening to the ticking.
It was the tunnel’s barely audible heartbeat, but the boys
could hear its echo as they picked their way down the slope. It was
the slow click of a grandfather clock, patiently waiting. It was the
lazy flicking of a cat’s tail as it sat next to the mouse’s hole. Jackie’s
hair stood on end as they reached the entrance on one side.
“Come on guys, let’s just call this off,” Jackie said, but Emile
shook his head.
“You promised you would, Jeremy Are you really going to
wuss out now?” he laughed. Jeremy shook his head. Jackie knew the
deal was sealed as soon as Emile dared him, but still. He grabbed
Jeremy’s arm, staring into his eyes.
“Jeremy, this is stupid. Let’s just go, please,” he begged, but
Jeremy shook him off. He peeled off his varsity jacket and pressed
it into Jackie’s arms.
“I’ll see you guys on the other side,” he said and stepped
forward. His footfalls echoed like a final goodbye, the ticking
starting to swallow them up as he got further in.
Jackie thought a lot about that night in the days that
followed. How he should have grabbed Jeremy’s hand, yanked him
back, and ignored Emile’s taunts, how they should have left that
goddamned tunnel alone.
But instead, he watched his friend disappear around the
curve of the tunnel.

There were four different clocks Jackie heard that week,
in the days that came after the night of May seventeenth. The
interrogation room’s clock was too fast, too impatient. It was the
123

�The Tunnel

white rabbit’s pocket watch, tick, tick, ticking as if it were trying to
catch up with itself.
The clock in the coroner’s office was too quiet and muffled.
It had a solemn politeness to it, as if it knew whose office it resided
in. As if it had seen the paperwork, the photographic evidence of
what they’d found lying in the middle of Louis Street.
The courtroom clock was utilitarian. It seemed impartial to the
goings on, the lull in the court session. This was the closest to the
tunnel clock, Jackie thought, but it was still too fast. Its slow march
through the hearing.
Even after he was acquitted, after the jury decided there
wasn’t enough evidence to rule him guilty, he couldn’t escape
the sound of the ticking in the Louis Street tunnel. That was
punishment enough, regardless of whether or not he was guilty.
Besides, everyone on that jury knew just as well as Jackie did about
that tunnel. AU they could feel for the boy at the defense table was
a solemn pity and a thankfulness it wasn’t them.
Every night when he closed his eyes, he remembered that
night. Stumbling up the slope and over Louis Street through the
thick darkness. Emerging with Emile on the other side, finding that
Jeremy hadn’t made it through yet. Thinking it was all a cruel joke,
the moments sUding by, and their annoyance turning into panic.
He and Emile had split up, Emile going into the tunnel to
look for him, and Jackie headed back to Morrison park to see if
Jeremy had retraced their footsteps. Nothing.
EmUe wouldn’t answer his phone when Jackie called. Jackie
made the brisk walk all the way back to that stupid tunnel by
himself in the sUent, anticipatory darkness.
He could hear the dull thud as he stumbled over something
lying in the street. Turning his flashlight on them, seeing they were
laying in a perfect line like a barricade.
He could stiU hear the ticking.

124

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                    <text>Maxwell von Gunten
Non-Fiction
My first long term relationship had just ended, and I had spent a
majority of my adolescence living in that reality. My young heart panged
because it felt like it needed someone to fill the supposed void of solidarity. As
a part of Gen-Z, I of course went to my phone to find the answers I thought I
needed. In this age of technology we have been introduced to a myriad of new
apps that are supposed to help us navigate our everyday lives. From supporting
our local couch potato with food delivery straight to his door, the dictionary and
encyclopedia embedded in every phone, and finally the new age way to fall in
love.. .Tinder. The mindless activity of swiping through our social media feed
has now been transformed into a zombified love connection. We put the best
versions of ourselves into these tiny boxes to be judged with the hope that true
love will swipe our way—and for a couple extra bucks our odds may be greater.
As I watched this version of love connection sweep across my friend
groups and even after dipping my toes into this pool of love, I found it to be
quite empty with shallow connections. The dates I had with the women I
matched with always lacked substance. They of course had no fear behind a
screen and keyboard, but when sitting face to face with them they were void of
any life. 1 asked one of my dates, "If you could live anywhere other than the U.S.
where would you live?” Thinking a simple hypothetical question would get some
engagement, she coldly replied, "Ummmm, I don’t know. I realty don’t have a
reason to leave.” Where was the Imagination?! I didn't go on any more Tinder

dates after that.

After that brief experience I returned to the dating pool in the real world.
The pain that infected my heart had begun to subside, and I was beginning to
accept the single life I was living. I didn't think I needed to introduce another
element into my life. Then without realizing I had slowly started growing closer
to a friend that had been by my side for many years, Jane was her name. She
was freshly heartbroken and was planning on running away to see the world

again after freeing herself from the chains of a relationship. For one reason or
another, she decided the world could wait, and we slowly started our dance
stepping on one another's toes as we explored this new found connection.

It had only been three months since we had started this experiment
with each other, and Jane had proposed we take a road trip to visit my
brother.. .in Michigan. We lived in Casper, Wyoming, and that was a 20 hour
drive. I was surprised she was willing to lock herself in a metal can with me for

so many hours.
XLVl

Sxf'iession Magazine.

�Reconnect

The day of departure finally came that summer, and as the sun rose
casting its golden hues across the vast expanse of Wyoming while we loaded
up the trunk of our car, excitement tingled in the air like static. The road
stretched before us, a ribbon of endless possibility, and with each passing mile
marker, we would unravel the layers of our budding romance. We were both
stepping into uncharted territory, our relationship still in its infancy, yet brimming
with the promise of adventures yet to come. As the wheels hummed beneath
us, our conversations ebbed and flowed like the rolling plains outside our
windows. We quickly passed through the Rocky Mountains and entered into
the corn filled plains of Nebraska.
Once in Husker territory, the mind numbing landscape of the flatlands
removed most, if not all, of our filters in the conversations. She tested the
waters and asked me, “Do you want me to come visit you while you are in
Laramie?”

After that summer I was going to move to the University of Wyoming,
and she was clearly skeptical of the idea of distance being a part of the
relationship. I replied, "Yeah, of course. It’s not far away at all so I’d love to have
you come visit me anytime you wanted." It didn't seem tike my answer truly
satisfied the thoughts she had bouncing around her head. She dug further,
“Are you sure you don’t just want to be a free single boy in college? Because
I don’t want to take those experiences away from you." It became clear that
this conversation was going to determine the strength of the relationship we
were entering. I carefully told her, “You are everything that I value in a partner.
You give me the freedom to be myself and communicate with me about difficult
topics like this. It’s hard to find that these days with the instant gratification
that Tinder and social media creates in relationships.” Jane nodded and let the
silence and limitless view wash over her as she placed her hand on mine.

Of course the 1-80 drive through Nebraska seemed eternal, but as the
sky and clouds began changing into brilliant shades of pink and orange we had
just crossed the Nebraska border and entered into Iowa. That night we camped
just outside Des Moines. After a game of cribbage we laid down in our sleeping
bags as the brook babbled behind our tent and the frogs groaned in the humid
night. I caught myself smiling, it was a joy to have someone so real and honest
in the pursuit of a relationship. The connection I had been looking for was right
there in front of me all along—I just had to put the phone down.

64th EdltianUte’iatn'ie

XLVIi

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