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Jonathan Togstad
The God of time crouches

It crashes into the rugged walls.

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From the whole of the universe.

Of what once was,

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A Son.

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At least for now.

I am safe from my

Cursed kin.
It tosses the leftover gore,
A leg, further into the tunnel.

142

Expression Magazine

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                    <text>Pin hncamphete Enesnary
Joseph Meeks
It was old-man Harver who said it first. He had come to the ranch to visit my grandmother; she wasn't

home, and he spied me sitting on the porch of our house and limped over. He asked if my mother was

home, but I think he knew she wasn't because she always worked weekdays. Then, he asked about my
dad. Was my dad home. His face was expressionless, but there was an inflection in his voice that hinted

that he knew the answer to this, too. Harver wasn’t what I would call a family friend, more of a fellow
farmer that occasionally borrowed equipment from our family. My grandmother had known him for

decades prior to my birth, so he was simply "Old Man Harver" to me.
"I heard there was some trouble last night at the bar, that your dad was involved. Saw the ambulance

running hot towards Evanston with lights and sirens blaring. Someone said a man died. Did your mom talk

to you about anything like that?"

"No sir. Didn’t hear anything." Truthfully, my dad was rarely home in the summertime when I woke up, so
not seeing him today sparked no suspicion. "Do you know who died?"

"I don't know for sure, but it didn’t sound like it was your dad. In fact, that maybe your dad did something
to the man. But I’ve probably said too much already. Did you see your mom last night or this morning?"
"She put us to bed last night, but I was asleep when she left today."
Some trouble at the bar. That explains the late-night phone call. When mom had answered the phone,

her face had frozen in curiosity, her head nodding in understanding. Then she was crying softly, but still
nodding her head. And then she hung up, wiped the tears away, and didn't seem sad anymore. She read

her book for a while, said goodnight, and went to bed. In the moment, it wasn't out of the ordinary.
My dad was known in the small town of Carter as a free-thinking man that enjoyed a good time, so long

166

Expression Magazine

�/In Incomplete Memory

as you didn't mockingly disagree with him. A lot of his beliefs were cringing, so it could be difficult not
to. Vietnam had been kinder to him than most. He suffered no obvious physical damage and only slightly

noticeable mental damage. It was the emotional effects that stood out. Anger, impatience, and sadness

flowed regularly from his self and those that knew him before he volunteered claim they were new.
Though he rarely obeyed the law, he had never been to jail, nor seriously injured anyone to my knowledge.

But we all knew he was capable.

"Okay son. I'll let you alone then. Tell your grammy I was here."
I was 12 years old when this happened. Our ranch was fairly large. We had several hundred acres of

farmland, a decent number of cows, and several barns and corrals. Looking back, it's easy to see that we
were not a rich family, but not poor either. But, at the time, I felt rich. I felt important. And I felt that an old

burned out farmer with a shitty truck and no functioning farm equipment had no place telling me what he
had told me.

"You want to know something that I heard?" I said before he got in his truck. "I heard that you were at the

cafe the other day and exposed yourself to the waitress. Just whipped it out and stared at her, like it was

a cool rock you'd found and needed to show someone. I heard it wasn’t the first time you did that, too."
“That’s an inappropriate thing to say to me, Nathan." He got in his truck and drove away.

They found my dad a few days later, hiding in the hills. He had dug a large trench in a valley using a shovel,
off the main road a few hundred yards. The trench was just big enough for his small black Tacoma to roll

into and not be seen without the right angle. He didn't resist and didn’t apologize. The story I heard was

that he was in a good mood when the cops found him. He even joked about how convenient it was that he

65th Edition

167

�An Incomplete Memory

drove the Tacoma to the bar and not the dually.
I don't think my mother was too upset about it. I guess she wanted him gone for a while and now he was

gone. Freedom after so many years of uncertainty, She rarely dated afterwards and never remarried.

It was definitely a hard time for the family, and we al! made adjustments over time. But it wasn’t so
devastating that it ruined our lives. I visited my dad several times in prison during my youth and into
young adulthood. He was released shortly after my twenty-second

birthday.
The most feeling I get about what happened is when I think about what I'd said to Harver. Did he expose

himself to the waitress at our local cafe? I doubt it. But somebody said he did. Somebody said it first and it
leaked to the rest of us. The rumor hangs around town like a bad smelt that never goes away.

168

Expression Magazine

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The 29th annual Casper College Multicultural Film Festival screened "To Kill a Mockingbird," on Friday, April 16 at 7 p.m. and "Just Mercy," on Friday, April 30 at 7 p.m. in the Wheeler Auditorium. Erich Frankland, Chair of Political Science, History, and International Studies directed the film festival. Each year, Frankland said he tries to alternate between lighthearted content such as international cartoons or a serious topic relating to current political and social climates. &#13;
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His intention for this year's festival involved choosing a theme that connects to the two films and facilitates an open discussion by the end. &#13;
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"The film festival is an opportunity for you as a student to explore issues with people who maybe see things completely different from you," said Frankland. &#13;
&#13;
The theme this year emphasized the American legal system and 'Seeking Justice in a Diverse America' regarding race and class. Amanda Nelson, director of the Casper College Paralegal Studies Program, led the discussion for the "To Kill a Mockingbird," screening. The discussion focused on American's Miranda rights, such as an individual's right to an attorney when questioned or interrogated. &#13;
&#13;
"A good part of the discussion focused upon the concern if things have really changed for minorities to obtain justice in America and how our ideals of justice often lag in reality. We also explored that sometimes little steps on diversity and justice are exceptionally important and can lead to major change," said Frankland. "We also looked at the impact that dignity and morality can have on peoples struggling for equality and those helping them."&#13;
&#13;
The film "Just Mercy," folows lawyer Bryan Stevenson on his journey to defend those wrongly condemned or convicted of crimes they did not commit. When "Just Mercy," made its initial premier, theaters were closed due to the COVID-29 pandemic and quarantine. The timing wasn't ideal and it went under the radar, so Frankland wanted students to be exposed to a film that discusses such important issues. &#13;
&#13;
"The idea of justice is very subjective, and with this theme we explore how it's not right for specific races and groups to be discriminated against. In both films, race and class are the overarching themes. Neither of the gentlemen can afford a quality attorney, and we want to discuss why these barriers for justice and fair treatment exist within the American criminal justice system," said Frankland. &#13;
&#13;
Frankland said he intended for thought-provoking discussions and diverse interaction between students and the community. &#13;
&#13;
He reiterated the importance of face-to-face discussions as opposed to debates on social media. The film festival provides an opportunity for students to find common ground while also being exposed to different opinions and perspectives. &#13;
&#13;
"We are content to say things on social media we wouldn't usually say in person, or maybe we're avoiding certain conversations because we don't want to be unfriended. This setting allows a safe, real conversation and that's one reason we've stuck with this approach," said Frankland. &#13;
&#13;
Chad Hanson, Chair of Social and Cultural studies, said that the importance of public forums should be preserved in the name of American democracy. The Multicultural Film Festival celebrates its 30th anniversary next year and upholding this tradition is important in his eyes. Hanson hosted and moderated the screening for "Just Mercy," and provided a sociological perspective for the audience. &#13;
&#13;
"Some of the discussions we should have had regarding inequalities in the United States were swept under the rug. And I think we live in a time where some of the curtains are being pulled back. We've reached a time where people are more willing to talk about these issues and try to change them," said Hanson. &#13;
&#13;
Community colleges and universities are one of the most important places to have these kinds of discussions. The festival allows people to look one another in the eye and come from a place of empathy and respect. The anonymity of the internet has changed the way we talk about these topics and civil discussion within a public forum is a vital aspect of American democracy that holds immense value. &#13;
&#13;
"Where else in society can you just get together with people you don't even know and have a really important conversation about something that matters, knowing that you'll be heard and listened to. I think that alone is a tradition to preserve," said Hanson. &#13;
&#13;
The Multicultural Film Festival provides a public forum for students, staff, and members of the community to discuss topics that matter to them. &#13;
&#13;
[Image: Movie poster for Just Mercy, with Michael B. Jordan, Jamie Foxx and Brie Larson. "Every generation has its hero. Meet ours."]&#13;
&#13;
[Image caption: Advertising for the Multicultural Film Festival at the college featured the movie cover for "Just Mercy,"]</text>
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