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                    <text>2:Ci9atn
Jay Roccaforte
And I’m back in your city
The world you own
A dome I only glimpse through
Never to exist within
You're the trap I wish I could rewind

2:09 am every night
The plight I flight is my own divine right to
Infiltrate this dome you call home
A metronome consistency of
Back and forth emotions
Every other petal a reason to keep going
Knowing the other shoe always drops
And I’m alone again.

Y&gt;u're the trap I wish I could rewind
2:09 on the clock
And I wish I’d never peered into this
Dome you call a home
I’m running out of air in this basement town
compound of my own design
Where I’m renowned but alone
Because I called another person home
And why?
Why is every other home a doll house
Doubts upon doubts about my own feelings
Forever shouts to the void
And I’m annoyed that
I’ll tell you I’m fine and every night rewind. Live in the past till I feel like I’m dying
But still rewind and rewind
You're the trap I wish I could rewind

179

�2:o^am

2:09 am and maybe
if I distract
This rough patch will leave me detached
Latching to the past
The key to unlocking the mask
I’ll ask for the time and see you once again
Am I searching for this
Or do you haunt like an old friend
Because maybe I’d actually find that kind
Don’t luck with a vulnerable state of mind

180

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                    <text>Again an6 Again
Jay Roccaforte
Again and Again
I toss a bowling ball into space
And feel at one with its spin

The days since last summer feel
endlessly hollow,
A Russian nesting doll of my own design
Each day is lost to the mind as
An increasingly finite one replaces it.

I’ve grown tired of these
Planck length days that stretch thin
And drag along a treadmill.

The Earth’s rotation slows to a halt
And what then?
Time has always been a concept anyway
And I’m left with an expressionless sky
No sun or moon to guide me
And I am what’s still spinning
What chaos remains when I’m left feeling nothing?
I am an object forced to stay in motion, lest I destroy the laws of your universe

This universe I no longer inhabit leaves me stranded
And yet it is all I have ever known
If I am all that rotates for this expanding eternity,
The center of my universe relies on me to maintain its thoughtless desires

These distant stars shine with a siren’s lure
And the sea I drift in
is as shallow as the gutter of my
bowling alley
What defies shallow
If not the depths of our painful sky?
182

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                    <text>W Poem Oat BroRe '11?
Jay Roccaforte
When the song that daylight sings falls flat
and all we feel are the thorns of returned roses
Waking up isn’t the first thing on my To-do list in the morning

I.
You are some secret garden
That has never wanted to hide,
but was always too beautiful for just anyone
I guess I was the first person to see that.

You opened your gates to me
and offered your lavender hand
Like a simple “hello”
Whether sun or moon hang in the air,
the sky bends to your will as though
You created it.
Distant stars
create paintings above your hills.
The world that feeds you
is of your own design,
and I am just an observer.

II.
Your petals
Labeled with “I love you”s and “I love you not”’s
are my favorite game to play

The crickets that hide in your blowing leaves
Chirp in sync with my heart beat
and as I roll down the hills of your meadow.
I’ve never felt more steady.
197

�The Poem That Broke Us

All day I could lay in this wild bed of Green
and feel the rays of the sun pour into us
like hot tea from a kettle
The roots of your tallest trees
have lived lives beyond mine,
and will remain in this garden
when I am lost to the sands of an hourglass.

I can only hope that when I die,
I can enrich your soil
With every grain of energy I have to give.
III.
I’m sorry
Maybe my love for you
Is what kept you hidden.

Maybe if some other passerby
had come to this garden,
they would have claimed themself
unworthy of this beauty
and let you continue to grow undisturbed.

How blind I was.
Crashing through your pastures
as though I provided this sunlight to you.
Resting on beds of flowers fed by hurricanes,
and acting like
the watering-can I call my love
can even begin to nourish you
How selfish of me to believe I was enough.
How selfish of me to pluck at these petals
As though I pollinated these flowers
She loves me
She loves me not
She loves to play music

198

�The Poem That Broke Us

Her tire-swing melody is a waltz
that knows no rhythm
and the rope we hang from would snap
if I didn’t just let you sing.
Loud.
So again.
I’m sorry
IV
I remember your glades from outside this gate now.

I was banished from this garden,
but maybe that’s too dramatic.
After all, the lock that latches this gate speaks in a simple tongue:
“I’m not ready to see you yet.”
“Do you think you could just give me more time?”
“I want things to be okay again too.”

And you smile.
So how could I possibly intrude?
The tallest lamps that line your paths
are still visible to me,
and I promise you,
no amount of recklessness
could ever dull this glow.

I still smell lavender.
Even from here.
I know these flowers don’t exist for me.
For anyone.
Just know I never took them for granted.

199

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