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                    <text>Chi’ Ciiuui’f
Matthew Orszulak
Fiction
A clock is ticking in the tunnel underneath the now
abandoned Louis Street. They closed the road and the tunnel
beneath after seven victims were found laying in a line like a
barricade. They were in various states of decay, all of them with
the time 2:27 carved into them. That was seven years ago, and the
ticking can still be heard in the tunnel.

On the night of May seventeenth, Jeremy Mason’s friends
were playing truth or dare in Morrison park, a short hike away from
Louis Street. The dare Jeremy received was simple. Step into the
tunnel. Wait until 2:27 melted into 2:30. Emerge on the other side.
It should have been an easy task.
Jacob “Jackie” Stevenson couldn’t remember much about
that night. Truth was, he was already four beers in by the time
Emile dared Jeremy to go in Carver’s Tunnel. He shuddered at
the thought of spending even a second down there. The only
experience he’d had with it was as a child on the walking path,
before everyone called it Carver’s tunnel. Before the newspaper
headlines and candlelit vigils, the closure of the walking path and
Louis Street. Before the lack of further funding let it fade into an
infamous myth. Before all of that, at eleven years old, something in
his soul knew to stay the hell away from the Louis Street Tunnel.
But Emile moved here two years ago when the tunnel
had already cemented itself as a graffiti-filled legend. So he dared
Jeremy to spend a couple minutes in the tunnel. On other nights,
Jackie would have been able to talk both his friends out of such a
stupid idea, but tonight, Jeremy and Emile were both so alcoholgone there was no convincing them otherwise.
So they marched down the walking path and up to the road.
The night was so black it felt like moving through a dense fog.
122

�The Tunnel

Even with their phone flashlights, the visible path in front of them
faded away a few feet in front of them.
The roadblocks stood like headstones. Next to them, in
the overgrown weeds and grass, stood the ‘Sentinel Hills’ sign. The
promise of high-income housing built within the year had long
since been spray painted over, now only displaying a crude diagram
of what Oakridge teenagers found funny
They hopped the blocks, sneakers echoing. Louis Street
seemed unnaturally quiet compared to the rest of the town. Even
in the secluded Morrison park, cars could be heard on the far
off highway. But here? It was as if every other sound sat hushed,
listening to the ticking.
It was the tunnel’s barely audible heartbeat, but the boys
could hear its echo as they picked their way down the slope. It was
the slow click of a grandfather clock, patiently waiting. It was the
lazy flicking of a cat’s tail as it sat next to the mouse’s hole. Jackie’s
hair stood on end as they reached the entrance on one side.
“Come on guys, let’s just call this off,” Jackie said, but Emile
shook his head.
“You promised you would, Jeremy Are you really going to
wuss out now?” he laughed. Jeremy shook his head. Jackie knew the
deal was sealed as soon as Emile dared him, but still. He grabbed
Jeremy’s arm, staring into his eyes.
“Jeremy, this is stupid. Let’s just go, please,” he begged, but
Jeremy shook him off. He peeled off his varsity jacket and pressed
it into Jackie’s arms.
“I’ll see you guys on the other side,” he said and stepped
forward. His footfalls echoed like a final goodbye, the ticking
starting to swallow them up as he got further in.
Jackie thought a lot about that night in the days that
followed. How he should have grabbed Jeremy’s hand, yanked him
back, and ignored Emile’s taunts, how they should have left that
goddamned tunnel alone.
But instead, he watched his friend disappear around the
curve of the tunnel.

There were four different clocks Jackie heard that week,
in the days that came after the night of May seventeenth. The
interrogation room’s clock was too fast, too impatient. It was the
123

�The Tunnel

white rabbit’s pocket watch, tick, tick, ticking as if it were trying to
catch up with itself.
The clock in the coroner’s office was too quiet and muffled.
It had a solemn politeness to it, as if it knew whose office it resided
in. As if it had seen the paperwork, the photographic evidence of
what they’d found lying in the middle of Louis Street.
The courtroom clock was utilitarian. It seemed impartial to the
goings on, the lull in the court session. This was the closest to the
tunnel clock, Jackie thought, but it was still too fast. Its slow march
through the hearing.
Even after he was acquitted, after the jury decided there
wasn’t enough evidence to rule him guilty, he couldn’t escape
the sound of the ticking in the Louis Street tunnel. That was
punishment enough, regardless of whether or not he was guilty.
Besides, everyone on that jury knew just as well as Jackie did about
that tunnel. AU they could feel for the boy at the defense table was
a solemn pity and a thankfulness it wasn’t them.
Every night when he closed his eyes, he remembered that
night. Stumbling up the slope and over Louis Street through the
thick darkness. Emerging with Emile on the other side, finding that
Jeremy hadn’t made it through yet. Thinking it was all a cruel joke,
the moments sUding by, and their annoyance turning into panic.
He and Emile had split up, Emile going into the tunnel to
look for him, and Jackie headed back to Morrison park to see if
Jeremy had retraced their footsteps. Nothing.
EmUe wouldn’t answer his phone when Jackie called. Jackie
made the brisk walk all the way back to that stupid tunnel by
himself in the sUent, anticipatory darkness.
He could hear the dull thud as he stumbled over something
lying in the street. Turning his flashlight on them, seeing they were
laying in a perfect line like a barricade.
He could stiU hear the ticking.

124

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jantasg
Skylar Rowyn Cooper
Academic Prose
Perpetuating the Fantasy: Disney and Queer
Representation
Disney has a long history of silencing voices that don’t
fit within the rigid lens of White Culture that the company was
built upon and continues to defend to this day. White American
Culture is inherently exclusionary against anything that doesn’t
fit within the current power structures based on “traditional”
ideas of the American Dream. While labeling this “White
Culture” communicates the racial implications of this narrative,
other communities are purposefully excluded within this lens
such as women and queer communities. Disney has a distinct
lack of representation for any marginaUzed community stifling
the perspectives of millions of people in the process. Looking at
Disney’s practices through the lens of Muted Group Theory, it is
apparent that there are long-lasting effects on society and culture
as a whole when diverse narratives are excluded from media.
These effects can be clearly seen by analyzing one of Disney’s
most popular franchises of all time: Frozen. Disney’s consistent
choice to silence queer narratives in Frozen and Frozen II, often
at the detriment of their own content, strips queer audiences of
the ability to recognize and communicate their experiences as an
oppressed group.
In order to understand the experiences of others, one
must use language to communicate those experiences. Muted
Group Theory (MGT), crafted by Edwin Ardener but largely
attributed to Cheris Kramarae who expanded on the theory,
states that marginalized communities lack the language to
properly communicate their experiences of oppression and
prejudice because language is created by those in power. Muted
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groups are kept from proper language by those in power who work
as gatekeepers of media and information. Although the original
research on this communication theory focuses on the dichotomy
of women and men, theorists within this area of study note that
these ideas can be applied to any marginalized group. In this
situation, Disney acts as the gatekeeper of information for children
across America and the world and has wide-reaching impacts. This
is evident by Disney’s continued popularity for over one hundred
years and the number of adults who are devoted and persistent in
their love of Disney throughout their lifetimes. The perspectives
that Disney chooses to focus on, and how they represent muted
groups when they do choose to show them, alters the way that
society views these groups and teaches children how to view and
interact with these groups.
Since its founding, Disney has profited from portraying
marginalized communities as the villain, especially queer
individuals. Villains such as Jafar from Aladdin^ Captain Hook from
Peter Pan, Scar from The Lion King, Sheer Khan from The Jungle Book,
and King Candy/Turbo from Wreck it Ralph are all recognized as
being queercoded due to their femininity and lack of conformity
to societal expectations of gender. One of the most famous and
blatant queercoded Disney villains is Ursula from The Little
Mermaid. Directors John Musker and Ron Clements confirmed in
an interview with Australia’s Special Broadcasting Service (SBS)
that Ursula was inspired by Baltimore Drag Queen, Divine. Musker
states that Howard Ashman, one of the major writers of The Little
Mermaid, knew Divine and had artists sketch Ursula's concepts
based on Divine’s stage persona. Howard himself was a gay man
who died of AIDS shortly before his other well-known project,
Beauty and the Beast, was finished and released CAnderson, 2016).
This pattern perpetuates a harmful stereotype of predatory
gay men. Most of these villains are depicted preying on young men
for their evil schemes, which is a long-held belief of White Culture
against gay men. These depictions of queercoded men in Disney
films stirred controversy from both sides. Many White Evangelicals
boycotted Disney from 1997 through 2005, citing they were
unhappy with Disney’s “promotion of‘homosexuality infidelity, and
adultery” (Parks, 2021). In Josh Parks’ article discussing “Christian
Disney Dads,” he discusses many individuals who expressed anger
114

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at Disney for adding small, inconsequential amounts of queer
representation into films like Onward and the live-action Beauty and
the Beast. Park also describes parkgoers' complaints that Disney’s
“politically motivated changes” ruin the immersiveness and fantasy
of the parks (2021). Disneyland is seen by many as an escape from
reality into their best fantasy world away from the worries and
complexities of society These reactions make it evident that
White Culture’s fantasy is one in which queer people and people
of color don’t exist - where racism, sexism, and homophobia are
not thought of because the only people who matter are the White
Evangelicals.
When Disney isn’t perpetuating harmful stereotypes of gay
men, they are co-opting queer experiences to place in their films
without providing genuine representation. Frozen grossed over
four million dollars in box office sales during its run in theatres.
Out of the top ten highest-grossing animated films of all time,
eight of them are Disney films. Frozen ranks second only to Frozen
II (Sim, 2021). This should be no secret considering the recordbreaking music sales that “Let It Go” managed the year Frozen
came out. Disney has a near stranglehold on children’s media
markets, meaning Disney is the biggest gatekeeper of media and
information for growing minds in America. The stories they choose
to tell and the language they utilize heavily affects the language and
information that American children grow up with.
The Frozen franchise was a huge missed opportunity for
queer representation; they could have told an equally heartfelt
and compelling story while subverting the stereotypes and troupes
pushed by Disney villains of the past. Initially, Elsa was written to
be the villain of Frozen. Several of the minds behind the film have
discussed how Elsa was originally supposed to be a self-proclaimed,
evil snow queen and that ultimately Ana would have persuaded her
to good (BBC, 2017). It’s impossible to say when they made the
change for Elsa to no longer be the villain of the story, but a story
where Elsa becomes the villain could have been the perfect way to
tell a modernized queer story. After fleeing Arendelle and singing
“Let It Go,” Elsa could have become closed off and protective
of herself to the point where she is a villain to the kingdom she
once called home. She could have grappled between whether her
powers, and her sexuality, makes her good or evil. In the end, she
115

�Perpetuating the Fantasy

would come to realize that her powers and sexuality aren’t curses,
but blessings that make her distinct and unique while finally being
accepted by Ana and her kingdom.
Elsa, whether intentionally or not, is heavily queercoded.
Queer individuals are often, if not always, forced to hide their true
selves from the world. Elsa is taught at a young age by the trolls
to be scared of her powers. Elsa’s lines in “For the First Time in
Forever” show the terror that she holds behind showing her true
self. “Conceal, don’t feel, put on a show. Make one wrong move
and everyone will know” (Bell &amp; Menzel, 2019). This is reflective
of the way that queer individuals have to constantly mask and
hide themselves to avoid the scrutiny of society. Due to this, queer
people often live in hiding for years and some never come out due
to the fear of how their family and society will treat them. Queer
people are often forcibly isolated from becoming too close to
anyone in their lives for fear of being discovered and outed.
There is clear evidence that these experiences influenced
Elsa’s characterization and creation. “Let It Go” was seen by many
in the LGBTQ+ community as an anthem for the experiences of
fear, anxiety, and relief of coming out. Songwriter Robert Lopez
described the process behind writing the song as follows,
Bobby and I took a walk in Prospect Park and put ourselves
in Elsa’s shoes {...] That’s when we realized the song had
to be about what it would feel like to carry that secret and
shame and finally feel free of that weight. (Atkins, 2022)
The parallels between Lopez’s words and the feelings of secrecy
and shame surrounding the act of coming out are undeniable. Later,
during the reprise of “For the First Time in Forever,” Elsa tells
Ana that she’s happier being alone because she’s free to be who
she wants to be. When Ana gives her a reason to feel obligated to
go back, because her secret has caused chaos in the kingdom that
only she can fix, Elsa panics. She calls herself a fool for thinking
that she could be free from criticism and backlash from her
family and community. Often when a queer person chooses to
isolate themselves from their family, family members attempt to
convince or even guilt trip them into coming back to the family
This is despite any mistreatment the person may have faced or
will continue to face at the hands of unaccepting family members.
This can cause them to feel panicked and trapped like they have
116

�Perpetuating the Fantasy

no other option than to bend to their family’s wishes regardless of
what it does to them as an individual. Disney’s framework crafter
from co-opted queer experiences in combination with her lack of
interest in men or marriage have led to many queer people latching
onto her as a form of pseudo-representation.
After the first film came out, there was a large push from
the queer community for Elsa to be canonically confirmed as
either lesbian or asexual. People felt connected to her because
she embodied the experiences of a group of people who lack the
ability to properly communicate these experiences. If Disney
had outwardly made Elsa gay, they could have made additional
commentary on the queer experience and assisted queer children
and adults in crafting the language needed to properly convey
queerexclusive experiences. In the years between the releases
of Frozen and Frozen fl, many speculated on how Disney would
handle Elsa’s queer coding. Many were hopefill after the initial
promotional images about Frozen II came out that Honeymaren,
a citizen of the Northuldra tribe, would be Elsa’s love interest in
the film. Unfortunately, none of the hopes or predictions that the
queer community had for this film came true.
While Frozen was a huge success despite its lack of true
queer representation, the same can’t necessarily be said for Frozen
II. The sequel may have done better at the box office by $170,000,
but the movie was not received as well by critics and older
audiences. The film wasn’t terrible by any means, but Disney made
a clear choice of which story it wanted to represent. Instead of
having any kind of love or queerrelated storylines for Elsa, the love
story the movie focuses on is the one between Ana and Christophe.
Disney had the opportunity to connect with one of its major
muted groups and instead chose the safe, traditional white culture
approach. Meanwhile, Elsa goes on a journey of self-discovery
that was yet again another huge missed opportunity for queer
representation.
At the beginning of the film. Ana has a song with Olaf
discussing how desperately she wants things to stay the same.
Change is inevitable, and often necessary, but Ana is choosing to
focus on the things that are static instead and clearly fears change
due to her abandonment trauma from growing up completely alone
post the death of her parents. However, Elsa is clearly miserable.
117

�Perpetuating the Fantasy

She is constantly having to fake a smile for Ana and pretend that
things are fine. Disney gives a glimpse into the reasoning behind
Elsa’s struggles during the song “Into the Unknown.”
Throughout the song, Elsa grapples with wanting to
maintain a relationship with her family despite feeling deep down
that she doesn’t belong. She is confused and conflicted with the
rising feelings within her. She seems frustrated about the fact
that she is going through yet another identity crisis. Looking at
this through a queer lens, there’s a clear queer story hidden here.
Many queer people don’t figure out their entire identity at once;
many end up coming out multiple times because either their initial
understanding of their sexuality was incorrect or due to discoveries
surrounding their gender identity This could be the same thing
that Elsa is experiencing in Frozen II. Her kingdom just accepted
her ice powers (and, metaphorically, being gay), but her coming
out as something beyond their understanding could ruin these
newly built relationships. This is evident when looking at the
lyrics, “I had my adventure, I don’t need something new. I’m afraid
of what I’m risking if I follow you into the unknown” (Menzel &amp;
AURORA, 2019). She talks to the voice about being kept awake by
feelings of not belonging, of there being more about herself she has
still yet to discover. There’s also an inherent risk to identifying as
trans* as even those who are accepting of gay and lesbian identities
are not always accepting of trans* identities and family members
often refuse to use the preferred name and pronouns of trans*
individuals.
Ultimately, Elsa is desperate to find the voice once she
realizes that it might be a key to alleviating her anxieties. During
“Show 'Vburself,” she finally gets to the place where she is able
to find the voice. She describes the voice calling out to her as
“something familiar” and a friend she’s always known (Menzel &amp;
Wood, 2019). She finally feels like she’s home. She realizes that she
is not trying to find someone else, but instead the true version of
herself - that she is the person she has been searching for. This is
indicative of the trans* experience. Being trans* is often described
as feeling out of place in one’s own body feeling lost. Then,
when a person realizes that they’re trans*, there’s this moment of
transcendence and enlightenment in realizing where the feelings
are coming from. “Show Yourself” embodies the experience of
trans* selfidiscovery.
118

�Perpetuating the Fantasy

Throughout the scene, Elsa converses with the voice,
which turns out to be her inner self. She says, “I’m dying to meet
you,” and she is instructed to “grow into something new” (Menzel
&amp; Wood, 2019). Trans* people coming into their identities often
describe it as finally meeting their true selves. Elsa then goes
through a transformation sequence in obtaining new powers and
a new identity, and directly after death and rebirth. The discovery
of a new self is emotional and overwhelming. Elsa is crying as she
realizes the truth about herself and undergoes a transformation.
These experiences are clearly trans* coded, and having this scene
end with Elsa transforming into a true version of herself as a
transman or somebody who is genderfluid or nonbinary could
have been revolutionary. The feelings and experiences that Elsa is
going through are ones that are not talked about in the media and
are terrifying to experience alone. Disney showing audiences that
this experience isn’t something one has to ensure alone could have
moved leaps and miles ahead in beginning to create shared language
and experiences for queer and straight audiences.
With this context in mind. Ana’s grief over Elsa’s death
and the related song, “The Next Right Thing,” would have been
the perfect follow-up to this. For many loved ones of trans*
people, there is grief related to the feeling of losing the person
that they know and love. They feel as though this is no longer
the same person. This is demonstrated through the terminology
in “deadnames” and the metaphorical rebirth of the individual
through social, presentational, and medical transitioning. Family
and friends of trans* people have to adjust to changes that often
feel overwhelming. Ana discusses her struggles over losing Elsa
while acknowledging that despite her feelings she must move on
and do the “next right thing” (Bell, 2019). This could be shown
through respecting Elsa’s new name and pronouns, even if Ana
doesn’t understand right away, and attempting to learn about and
discuss Elsa’s experiences with her in order to better empathize
with her. This could have been an invaluable example for queer
kids everywhere in understanding how to recognize their feelings
and personal identity and for straight kids on how to interact with
trans* kids.
White Culture is all about stripping muted groups of their
ability to understand themselves, so many queer people don’t
realize what their sexuality or gender identity is until later in life.
119

�Perpetuating the Fantasy

The queer community is currently at a crucial stage in creating
a shared language. While current smaller depictions of queer
characters in children’s media are beginning to start a conversation,
there is currently little to no good representation of queer
individuals in content made for children. Disney has gone out of
its way to do the bare minimum in terms of queer representation
in order to avoid being called out for its homophobia and queer
exclusion while simultaneously co-opting queer experiences for
their narratives. Disney’s choice to avoid telling queer stories is a
choice to continue silencing muted groups and their experiences.
Disney had an opportunity to tell touching, emotional queer
stories through one of their most popular franchises and instead
played it safe and undermined queer voices. It is a distinct and
purposeful way to ignore and exclude the experiences of oppressed
and marginalized groups. Just like the White Evangelicals within
its parks, Disney attempts to live in a fantasy land where there is
no racism, sexism, homophobia, or prejudice because those muted
groups are just that: muted.

120

�Perpetuating the Fantasy

References
Anderson, S. M. (2016, November 9). Funfact: Ursula is based on the iconic
dragqueen Divine. SBS. https://www.sbs.com.au/topics/pride/fast-lane/
article/2016/11/09/fun-fact-ursula-based-iconic-drag-queen-divine
Atkins, J. (2022, December 19). Let it Go: The story behind the Frozen classic.
U Discover Music, https://www.udiscovermusic.com/stories/let-it-gofrozen-disney-feature/
BBC. (2017, March 30). Elsafrom Frozen was meant to be an evil
queen with an army ofsnow monsters, https://wwwbbc.com/news/
newsbeat-39440458
Bell, K. (2019). The next right thing [Song]. On Frozen II {Ori^nalmotion
picture soundtrack) [Album]. Walt Disney Records.
Bell, K. &amp; Menzel, I. (2013). For the first time in forever [Song]. On
Frozen: Ori^nal motion picture soundtrack [Album]. Walt Disney
Records.
Lang, N. (2017, March 21). Disney’s long complicated history with queer
characters. Bazaar, https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/film-tv/
news/a2i5o6/disney-gay-lgbt-characters-history/
Menzel, I. &amp; AURORA. (2019). Into the unknown [Song], On Frozen II
IDri^nal motion picture soundtrack) [Album]. Walt Disney Records.
Menzel, 1. &amp; Wood, E. R. (2019). Show yourself [Song]. On Frozen II
{Original motion picture soundtrack) [Album]. Walt Disney Records.
Parks, J. (2021, May 5). The lament ofthe Christian Disney dad-. What
Evangelicals really hate about “wokeness”at Disney World. Religion
Dispatches, https://religiondispatches.org/the-lament-of-thechristian-disney^dad-what-evangelicals-really-hate-about-wokenessat-disney-world/
Sim, B. (2021, June 26). Drawingan audience: highest-grossing animated
movies ofall time. Screen Rant, https://screenrant.com/highestgrossing-animated-movies-ever/

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                    <text>HarXiuood Au6io
Intervieur
Sophia Z,ettl
Fiction
Transcription ofaudio interview 66,316.
Click.
“Start Recording. This is Agent Tobias Simmons. The
date is Friday, August ii, 2017. Time is two o’four P.M. Due to
the sudden nature of this particular case, and the fact that I
was reasonably close to said location doing another interview,
I am in Casper, Wyoming, at the Ramkota Hotel. As far as
accommodations go, they leave much to be desired. I will be taking
a statement pertaining to an incident that occurred in May of
this year from Ms. Hartwood. For the sake of privacy, any other
personal information will be omitted from this recording. See the
corresponding documents for further references. Our appointment
for this interview was set for one forty-five, so Ms. Hartwood
should be here soon.”

The sounds ofshufflingpaperSf then quiet, A persistent
tapping can be heard, likefingers against a table.
Sigh. “Honestly, I’m not sure what passes for punctuality in
this state. One would think that it wouldn’t be that difficult to get
to places on time, considering that it’s less than a twenty-minute
drive to get anywhere in this fucking town. But you never know
what to expect, considering that this state also has more sheep
than people, not that the people are more div-

A knock comes,faintly,
“Well, it’s about time. Unless, of course, it’s the manager
to inform me that I’ve overstayed my welcome. Not that he’d be
wrong, of course.”

The sound offootsteps moving awayjrom the recorder,
A door opens with a creak.
“Ms. Hartwood I presume.”
107

�HartwoodAudio Interview

“Yes, that’s me. I’m so sorry for being late, I was running
errands on the Eastside, and I lost track of time, and then there’s
all that construction on 2nd street, and I had to go around it“
“Please, it’s quite alright. Are you ready to give your
statement now?
“We, yeah. I mean Yes! Yes I’m-I’m ready to go.”
“Fantastic. If you’d step over here please.”

Footsteps tread closer,
“Have a seat Ms. Hartwood. Begin whenever you’re ready”

A pause, sounds ofshuffling, and a throat being cleared,
“Call me Rita, please. Should I- do I just start talking?”
“Why don’t you tell me about yourself and the events
leading up to the incident. Just pretend that the tape recorder isn’t
there.”
“Right. Should be easy enough I suppose. Um, my name is
Rita Hartwood. I’m 23, and I’ve lived in Casper all my life. Which I
guess you already know. Sorry So, what happened in May? It was a
Thursday...”

A longpause,
‘Actually let me clarify something really fast. I know you
came to hear my story, and that’s great, don’t get me wrong. But
people always want to hear a ghost story And that’s not what this
is. At least, maybe not what you’d normally think a ghost story is.”
“I don’t have an opinion on the veracity of ghost stories, or
lack thereof. I just need to take your statement.”
“No, I know. I just meant... Can I ask you Agent, are you
Christian?”
“I don’t believe my religious affiliation has any part of this
discussion.”
“No, no, of course not. I’m sorry I only ask because, well, I
was raised Catholic. Now obviously, I can’t speak for all Christian
denominations or even all Catholics. But ghost stories weren’t a
good thing or a fun thing growing up. They were a warning.
“I remember being in school, and the other kids would joke
about the bathroom being haunted. Or someone would mention
bringing a Ouija Board to a sleepover. And the paranormal TV
shows and movies that became more popular and more ridiculous
because ghost stories were fun. They gave a scare or raised some
goosebumps- but it wasn’t like they were real. Or if they were,

108

�HartwoodAudio Interview

then it wasn’t like a ghost could hurt you. But I knew differently I
grew up listening to Bible stories and the lives of the Saints, which
are heavy enough on their own. But as I got older, the stories got
longer, and deeper. More detail given to the tales of the martyrs,
to those who fought against hell. Demons are very real and very
dangerous.
“I’m sure you know. Agent, that there are plenty of rules
that come with being Catholic. There’s the commandments,
and all of what Jesus says in the gospels. And I’m definitely not
the textbook perfect example of a nice Catholic girl. Following
those rules have been a... trial to say the least. But the one rule
that always stuck with me, even when I wasn’t acting like a good
Catholic? ybu don’t fuck around with the occult, ghosts, spirits or
whatever the hell else is out there.”

A loud scoffand afew shaky breaths,
“I tell you this because I want you to know, what happened
to me in May? I hate it. I hate not knowing if what happened is only
in my mind or if it was... something else.”

Clears throat,
“So, it was a Thursday. I remember because I meet with my
book club every other Thursday. We hang out, have dinner, and we
talk. It’s great, actually. I don’t have a lot of friends. It’s nice to just
sit and talk.
‘Anyway we were up on the mountain. Celebrating spring
and all that. We hiked the Braille trail and then went to the Elk
Horn Campground for hotdogs and beers. We discussed the book
we were reading that month. It was Death Comesfor the Archbishop
byWilla Cather.
“We were there until maybe eight? We said our goodbyes,
and I headed back. I drove for less than 5 minutes, and my car
broke down. Which wasn’t really surprising. I mean, I drive a 98
Oldsmobile, and that incline on Casper Mountain Road kills the
brakes even when I'm driving in low gear.
“So the engine stalls; I pull over and put on my hazards. I
tried to call for help, but cell service up there is spotty at best. I
figured I’d wait. I was one of the first to leave, so someone would
have to pass by, right? I waited and waited, and waited. It felt like I
waited for an hour, maybe more, but no one came.
“I finally got out to pop the hood. That’s when it hit me. It

109

�HartwoodAudio Interview

was cold. Now, this is Wyoming. Weather can change at the drop of
a hat, and it was in the mountains in May But it dropped from fifty
to eleven. I could see my breath in the light of my phone, and my
fingers burned trying to lift the hood. I don’t know what I planned
to do; I know next to nothing about cars except how to drive one.
But it was better than doing nothing and being stuck up there in
the cold and the dark. There were hardly any lights up there, but I
couldn’t even see the lights from town.
“I glanced to the side, and I noticed... something. There
was a thing in the trees. It was like a figure, but not, if that makes
sense? It was like the idea of a person’s shadow, all dark and
formless and deep. I couldn’t make out anything specific, just that
they were there. Like passing by a mirror in a dark room or looking
out a smudged window. You can tell that there’s something there,
but you can’t focus on it. I froze. And then there was this sound.
“It wasn’t like anything else I’d ever experienced before.
This sound, it was like it was there and it wasn’t. Like the reverb
of a bass guitar through a speaker, but deeper, if that makes sense?
Or, uhm... when you’re in a canyon, and you call out your name just
to hear it echo back. And there’s this brief moment when the echo
is gone, but the sound is still there. That’s what it was like, just a
faded echo of a song or a voice. But it kept getting louder, and that
figure was just there.
“It moved and bent but not in a way that a person moves;
it was more like how a tree would sway And I know how that
sounds; then obviously it was a tree, right? And I was just out of
my mind. But the wind was blowing hard at that point, and this
thing was bending against the wind. It moved, and it looked like it
was gesturing toward the dark behind it. I looked, and it was like
the darkness was getting darker. I never understood the meaning
behind the word ‘abyss’ until I looked into it. And once I did, I
couldn’t look away I could see it beckoning me forward. I stumbled
back into the road, but I didn’t remember stepping forward and
I was trying to form the Hail Mary in my mouth, but it was like I
didn’t have the breath to speak.
“There was that sound that just kept getting louder, like the
reverb of a note held for too long, and the wind was blowing, and
I couldn’t see anything around me in that swirling darkness, but I
swear on my life I felt something touch my shoulder. I screamed, I

no

�HartwoodAudio Interview

think. It was hard to hear myself think with all that noise, let alone
anything besides the sound, a-”

Audio corrupted;for approximately a minute and 6
seconds, there^s only static. Some scattered voices, but nothing
coherent can be made out.
“-woke up. I was confused and sore and scared out of my
mind. But that wasn’t the worst part. I woke up in my own bed on
Saturday I have no memory of how I got there. And things were
off. I can’t fully explain it, but clothes that I had in the wash on
Thursday were folded and put away. Inside out. And-and there
was salt all over my kitchen floor and cracked dishes I don’t recall
having been broken before Thursday My roommate was out of
town that week, so she couldn’t tell me if she had seen me at all. I
called my Mom, bawling, and she hadn’t heard from me either. She
talked to me, calmed me down enough that I could tell her what
happened. She came over with Holy Water, and we said a prayer
over my apartment. She helped me clean up a little, and then we
left. I stayed with my parents for almost a month.”

A longpause, only the sounds ofshaky breathing, the
rustling oftissues.
“Ms. Hart, did you experience anything else after this...
incident.”
“No. I talked to Priests, who prayed with me but
recommended a psychologist, and psychologists who have all tried
to convince me that it was my mind playing tricks on me. That it
was my stress that manifested itself into hallucinations. And maybe
they’re right. But I have never seen a hallucination leave bruises
across my shoulder. Any other questions. Agent?”
“No, that will be all Ms. Hart. Thank you for your time. And
if you have any additional information, here’s my card.”
“It’s Hartwood, and thanks for listening. I guess. I’ll see
myself out.”

Furniture shifts,footsteps move awayfrom the
recorder. A door opens and closes again. There is silencefor
several seconds.
“Well, that went better than expected, all things considered.
I have the rest of Ms. Hartwood’s file with me, including pictures
taken at the local hospital. Details of said stay she failed to include
in her testimony. The bruises across her shoulders, one could think

III

�HartwwdAudio Interview

they were almost shaped like... well. I don’t have to say here, do I?
As per protocol, the audio transcription will be uploaded into the
database, along with digital copies of the file. The physical copy
will be sent to the archive to be processed.”

The sound ofchairs scraping along thefloor and then
tapping. Likefingers on a tabletop.
“I wonder if she knows how lucky she is? This is the sixth case that
I’ve investigated with this particular entity. And none of its other
victims have lived to give me their statements. We will have to keep
a closer eye on the situation.”

Transcription ends.

II2

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                    <text>Jreebm to Read:
IVhal is yrepress?
Skylar Rowyn Cooper
Academic Prose
“The cyclical rebirth of caste in America is a recurring
racial nightmare” (Alexander, 2010, p. 4). The deafening cries of
the American people for social and political progress go unheard;
protests, riots, and petitions fall upon the deaf ears of the powerful
men in America that benefit from these gross miscarriages of
justice and systemic inequality. The country spins in endless
cycles of calls for progress, but every time society moves a step
forward, the systemic oppression America was built upon pushes
it two steps back. The “ALA Freedom to Read Statement” is a
terrifying demonstration of America’s inability to make meaningful
political and social progress. The banning of books upholds pre­
existing power structures that harm marginalized communities by
restricting their access to the language needed to communicate
their experiences of oppression and discrimination.
The American Library Association’s (ALA) statement
condemning banning books is horrifying due to its uncanny
timelessness. Though the statement was released in 1953, its words
have been true for long before the words were published and
ring as true today as they did almost sixty years ago. The topic of
banned books has exploded in the media over the past two years
as heightened political tensions have steadily increased bringing a
new wave of organized challenges against "controversial" literature
- read: inclusive literature. The ALA (2013) received 729 reported
challenges in 2021 targeting 1597 unique titles; this is drastically
increased from the 156 challenges against 273 titles from the year
before. Clearly, despite the over half a decade that has passed
since the release of this statement, libraries and school boards
across the nation have been fielding exponentially increased
challenges against materials that challenge the status quo and urge
98

�Freedom to Read: What is Progress^

audiences to expand their viewpoints and think for themselves.
This unprecedented number of challenges is sickening to any lover
of literature or simply any person who believes in upholding the
freedoms allowed to all citizens via the First Amendment’s right
to freedom of speech. Ultimately, the act of restricting access to
knowledge is unnerving because of the reasoning people push for
the information to be banned.
Why are books requested to be pulled from public access?
Historically, books recognized on the ALA’s Banned Books List
are challenged because they tackle ideas of race, gender, sexuality,
violence, and disobedience against parents or oppressive societies
(ALA, 2013; Niccolini, 2015). Youth are often at the center of
these conversations; adults who may be uncomfortable with these
topics frequently cite protecting children as their primary goal.
However, as Alyssa Niccolini (2013) notes in her article “Precocious
Knowledge,” “The reality is that young people live in and read
about—as we adults also did—a decidedly complex world where
sex, violence, intolerance, and profanity are a reality” (p. 27). She
notes that adults often attempt to censor youth from sensitive
topics to prevent them from gaining “precocious knowledge,” or
knowledge that could corrupt their innocence. However, children
and young adults often have much more maturity than adults
give them credit for; they are exposed to these topics anyway and
not having the knowledge to understand them properly can be
extremely detrimental to their development (Niccolini, 2015). The
ALA supports this idea, stating that most modern artwork and
sharing of ideas are shocking - but so is life. Parents and educators
have the responsibility to educate youth about what they will be
exposed to in life rather than actively doing them a disservice
by withholding information they may be uncomfortable with
themselves (ALA, 1953). Barring children from access to texts
about LGBTQ+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer)
identities and racial injustices is especially harmful because it robs
them of the language needed to communicate their experiences
and limits broader social empathy for those communities.
While the banning of books may seem trivial to some,
real“world effects follow each of these challenges. Bill Lawson’s
“Nobody Knows Our Plight” discusses the harm that lexical gaps
do to marginalized communities. Lawson analyzes America’s lack

99

�Freedom to Read:What is Progress?

of social progress through the lens of MGT; MGT states that
oppressed groups struggle to move past oppression in society
because language is created by oppressors. Without the ability
to discuss their experiences with legislators and the world at
large, oppressed persons are unable to share their realities with
those who don’t experience them to build empathy Without
empathy, those outside of marginalized communities continue
to fear and ostracize those who are different from them based
on prejudiced misunderstandings. “These words do not merely
refer to our reality, they help to define it [...] There is no word in
our political/moral vocabulary that captures this state of affairs
and such a word is needed if we are to develop just social policy”
(Lawson, 1992, pp. 1-2). Lexical gaps are exactly why censorship of
marginalized communities is so dangerous; it is a purposeful tactic
used to withhold power from persons who are already oppressed
in American Society According to Wilson Coates (1948), “illiteracy
is evidence of the government’s attempt to adjust its social system
to increasing control over natural resources at a time when it is
more clear than ever before that knowledge is power” (p. 73). The
“ALA Freedom to Read Statement” affirms the idea that knowledge
is power by stating that “free communication is essential to the
preservation of a free society and a creative culture” (1953). These
effects are not only seen on a wide-scale national level, but also in
day-to-day classroom settings.
Both Niccolini and Jennifer Rossuck (1997) describe how
utilizing banned book lists in their classrooms helped facilitate
conversations around and understanding of alternative identities
and experiences. Youth are frequently kept from guidance about
how to tackle difficult subjects, but discussing them in a safe,
controlled space like the classroom is the perfect way to prepare
children to face these topics in the real world (Nicolini, 201$,
pp. 23, 25). Rossuck discusses the idea that banning books denies
authors their First Amendment rights to express their ideas and
experiences. During final projects, one of Rossuck’s students
demonstrated this idea by asking her fellow students to write
down their fears and the origins of those fears. She read each
one aloud then crumpled up, ripped, and threw away the papers
while dismissing her fellow students’ fears and feelings in order
to demonstrate how banning books is akin to labeling an author’s

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�Freedom to Read:What is Progress?

“past life, his concerns for the state of present society, and his
warnings for future societies {asl invalid garbage” (Rossuck, 1997,
p. 69). Rossuck’s student was able to demonstrate to her class how
to empathize with members of marginalized communities and
how harmful the restricting of language can be. These fears and
experiences are precisely what marginalized communities attempt
to communicate but can’t without access to an audience to hear
them. With access to these materials, members of marginalized
communities can begin to craft and create the language needed
to overcome adversity and fight oppression. Democracy itself
depends on the freedom of expression and the circulation of new
and diverse ideas. Without it, oppressed individuals have no way to
make progress toward a more free and equal society.
But, what is progress? Coates attempts to answer the
question in his article by the same name. Coates (1948) defines
progress as providing “social accommodation,” or the reasonable
equilibrium of individuals within society Reaching social
accommodation has been historically difficult to achieve due to the
cyclical nature of society, history, and culture. Forward progress is
nearly impossible to make because of the inevitability of progress’
impermanence (p. 72). Progress never sticks because as soon as
marginalized groups start to gain ground towards equality, those in
power restrict their rights in order to re-establish harmful power
structures. For example, in the late 1800s slavery was abolished via
the 13th, 14th, and 13th Amendments; however, society, as well as
the law, continued to oppress Black individuals, who just recently
could be labeled as citizens rather than property, by restricting
their access to voting through poll taxes, literacy tests. Black
Codes, segregation, and Jim Crow Laws.Then, in response to the
end of segregation in the 1960s, increased rates of inequity and
poverty among Black individuals skyrocketed hand in hand with
increased rates of poUce brutality. In the 21st century, the Black
Lives Matter movement has pushed back against systemic racism
and police brutality to be met with excessive force, the continued
murders of BIPOC individuals by police, and the censorship of
Black cultural ideas by the banning of books discussing these
topics.
Another example of this is the backlash against queer
identities amidst the push for increased legal protections. Queer

lOI

�Freedom to Read: What is Progress?

rights activists mark the Stonewall riot in 1969 as the first large
demonstration of the gay rights movement. In the late 1970s,
the Supreme Court ruling trans women could play as women
in certain professional sports. The Sos brought on the AIDs
epidemic which was widely blamed on gay men and villainized the
queer community Shortly after, laws restricting gay rights such
as Don’t Ask Don’t Tell were put in place. The 1990’s introduced
the first states to legalize gay marriage, and subsequently, many
more states passed laws banning gay marriage. Finally, in 2015,
the Supreme Court ruled that these laws banning gay marriage
were unconstitutional on a technicality about marriage licenses
having to be valid across state line. Directly following this was
a slew of Trump-era laws restricting the rights of gay and trans*
individuals including banning trans* persons from using restrooms
in accordance with their gender identities, joining the military,
and playing sports in schools; Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” bill; and
bills in classifying the affirming of trans youth by their parents as
child abuse. Throughout the 2023 legislative session, onslaughts of
copycat bills were proposed in nearly every Republican-ruled state.
This happened hand in hand with challenges across the nation
calling for the banning of books with LGBTQ+ content. Both
of these examples demonstrate the oppressive cyclical cycle of
marginalized persons being put down every time they gain a small
amount of ground toward equality
Banning books is yet another tool members of oppressive
groups use to put down marginalized communities and restrict
social progress. In the act of protecting free speech, the ALA (1953)
states, “no group has the right to take the law into its own hands,
and to impose its own concept of politics or morality upon other
members of a democratic society Freedom is no freedom if it is
accorded only to the accepted and the inoffensive.” It is inherently
an affront to constitutional freedoms to silence LGBTQ+ and
BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People/Persons of Color) narratives;
scholars and instructors agree that the best way to tackle
controversial ideas is to confront them directly Stories are able
to reach people in ways that conversations, essays, statistics, and
textbooks often fall short.
Despite the fact that suppressing freedom of speech
is clearly unconstitutional, America has been unable to make

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�Freedom to Read: What h Process?

meaningful progress towards social equality in the over two
hundred years the country has existed. Coates (1948) suggests that
America’s resistance against Arnold Toynbee’s analysis of cyclical
civilization structures is partially why American society has made
so little progress toward these issues. Toynbee’s analysis states
that civilizations exist in a cycle of origin, growth, breakdown,
and disintegration where they experience various deaths and
rebirths (p. 75). Many other western first^orld countries rewrite
their constitutions every three to five years, yet legal rights and
social accommodations in America are still based on a text written
over two hundred years ago. Nation-wide resistance to change is
preventing American society from making any real strides toward
equality for oppressed individuals. The ALA asserts that in order to
make forward progress, “It is in the public interest for pubUshers
and librarians to make available the widest diversity of views and
expressions, including those that are unorthodox, unpopular, or
considered dangerous by the majority” (1953). Recognizing and
validating diverse perspectives is essential to effectively provide
genuinely equal individual rights and freedoms. America’s refusal to
accept and embrace change continues to maintain harmful societal
structures.
Is there a solution to this lack of progress? As Lawson (1992)
details, many marginalized groups, particularly people of color,
have never been free in America and continue to face prejudice and
discrimination, regardless of the technical letter of the law, because
society was built upon power structures that uphold straight, white,
male power. Lawson’s argument primarily revolves around the
concept of Muted Group Theory (MGT) and the need for proper
language to discuss oppression and marginalization. He is widely
unable to propose solutions to the country’s lack of progress and is
unable to propose language that would be sufficient in describing
these experiences. Explaining the struggles and hardships of a
marginalized community while one is within it is nearly impossible,
especially when access to literature and stories about their
experiences is challenged, banned, and restricted. To be oppressed
is to exist in the margins of the book that is society; books about
these topics attempt to pull this information from the margins
into the body text of language and common understandings of
society. Lawson states that while he recognizes he’ll face criticism

103

�Freedom to Read:What is Progress?

for his lack of solutions, “the only word that has always come to
mind for this situation has been the word ‘hell’” (p. 19). Fortunately,
Coates offers a suggestion for moving past this constant cycle of
building and demolishing rights and protections for LGBTQ+ and
BIPOC individuals. Coates recognizes that social and political
adjustments are rarely accomplished smoothly; however, he argues
that the answer lies in radical social change. The only way to make
true political change is to disassemble the broken systems and
put radical changes in place regardless of the abrasiveness it may
inflame in those who oppose that change. Coates states,
Progress may be no less progress for its being precarious,
for it has never been, and by definition can never be,
identified with stasis. Hence, to dissociate it from stability
and security is only to make it correspond more closely
with historical reality Indeed, it might be said that as
social stability can lead to rigidity, atrophy, and decline, so
a measure of insecurity may be a positive attribution of
progress. (Coates, 1948, p. 71)
Progress inherently stands in opposition to stability and comfort;
therefore, in order to progress as a society, we must dissociate the
concept of progress from staticity The only way to break cycles of
violence and marginalization is to destroy them completely
Coates’ solution merges perfectly with the ALA’s “Freedom
to Read Statement.” The statement declares that the censorship
and suppression of knowledge “restls} on a denial of the
fundamental premise of democracy” (ALA, 1953). The ALA also
acknowledges that suppression is most dangerous and impactful
during times of social turmoil, division, and tension. Restricting
access to information and education from slaves in the 1800s
kept the power of knowledge in the hands of the oppressors;
banning books discussing racism and LGBTQ identities today
serves the same function of withholding knowledge about these
issues from oppressed groups in order to retain power for cishet
white Americans. The high spikes of challenged books in the
past two years is proof of this; when people’s ideas of the world
are challenged in a way that threatens their perceived way of life
and the power they hold in society, the immediate response is
to shut down the perceived threat. That is why so many books
about LGBTQ+ and BIPOC issues have been challenged or
104

�Freedom to Read: What is Progress?

banned throughout the country. The number one banned book
of 2021 was Maia Kobabe’s Gender ^eer, a young adult graphic
novel memoir about Kobabe’s experiences growing up as a trans*
individual in a world made to suppress and quiet gay and trans
voices (ALA, 2013). Six out of the top ten most challenged books
of that year were restricted for containing LGBTQIA+ content,
and three out of the ten were books relating to the experiences of
people of color; the only outlier was about child abuse and was still
cited as having sexually explicit content (ALA, 2013). These book
challenges demonstrate the clear cultural resistance that cisgender
heterosexuals have against queer identities; they remove LGBTQ
stories from general public access in an attempt to silence and
eradicate queer experiences. Silence removes the opportunity for
those outside the LGBTQ community to empathize with queer
experiences and also limits empathy within the community itself.
The only way to combat demonstrations of public oppression
is to uphold the freedom of access to knowledge and to enact
radical social change at a national level that protects and equalizes
marginalized individuals with their long-time oppressors through
social accommodation.
The “ATA Freedom to Read Statement” attempts to protect
marginalized individuals by advocating for free access to knowledge
and personal expression. Unfortunately, speaking truth to power
is often not enough to make real societal change. However, stories
can be a powerful tool that educates oppressed individuals on
concepts and ideas that they may not otherwise understand or have
the language to discuss with others. Facilitating freedom through
access to knowledge is one of the first steps towards making
progress toward freedom; this freedom to read is the ultimate
goal and purpose of the American Library Association. However,
in a nation that supposedly prides itself on being the “home of
the free,” can one truly be free if their experiences are silenced
and their mere existence brings on prejudice and discrimination?
Coates suggests that radical social change is the answer, but the
statement of that is much easier than the logistical implication
of that statement. In a country where progress has been a slowmoving and excruciatingly painful process, how do we attempt
to break down power structures that have been in place since
before the founding of our country? While there may be no clear

�Fntdom to Read:What is Progress?

answer currently, acknowledging the need for a radical upheaval of
societal norms and expectations, and growing spaces of empathy
and learning towards experiences divergent from tradition or
“the norm,” may be the first large step towards enacting social
accommodation and equality

References
Alexander, M. (2010, March 9). The
Jim Crow.
Brown University [PDF}, https://wwwbrown.edu/
DepartmentsEconomics/Faculty/Glenn_Loury/louryhomepage/
teaching/Ec%2Oi37/The%2oNew%2oJim%2oCrow^from%2O
The%2oNation.pdf
American Library Association. (1953, June 25). Thefreedom to
readstatement, https://wwwala.org/advocacy/intfreedom/
freedomreadstatement
American Library Association. (2013, March 26). Top 10 most
challenged book lists, https://wwwala.org/advocacy/bbooks/
frequentlychallengedbooks/topio
Coates, W. H. (1948, January 29). What is progress? TheJournal of
Philosophy, 45(3), 67-77. https://doi.org/1o.23o7/2o2o364
Lawson, B. (1992). Nobody knows our plight: Moral discourse,
slavery, and social progress. Social Theory and Practice, 18(1),
1-20. https://wwwjstor.org/stable/23557455
Niccolini, A. D. (2015, January). Precocious knowledge: Using
banned books to engage in a youth lens. The English Journal,
104(3), 22-28. https://www.jstor.org/stable/24484452
Rossuck, J. (1997, February). Banned books: A study of censorship.
The English Journal, 86(2), 67-70. https://doi.org/1o.23o7/819679

106

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Matthew Orszulak
Fiction
They threw the ninth spoon out the window with a
frustrated scream. It sailed through the clear summer air and
hit the fence, making a dull sound, and fell onto the pile of its
gruesomely made constituents.
Cedar put their head in their hands, shaking with
frustration. Everything they made was shit, all of it. There wasn’t
a single thing they’d made in the past three months that was
worthwhile. Everything they were referring to, of course, were
small, intricately made spoons. The pile outside was filled with
seventeen spoons at the moment, though more would surely arrive
via a short one-way flight tomorrow morning when Cedar sat down
to work again.
But right now, they left the materials haphazardly strewn
across the work table and instead got up to go for a walk. The air
still held residual heat from the mid-July day, but now that the sun
was beginning its slow descent, it was cool enough to bear even the
thought of going outside.
Cedar stomped down the hallway, the boards that usually
creaked letting out screams beneath their enraged footfalls. AU
those stupid spoons, all that work, and not one that’s actually worth it,
they thought, hastily reaching for their coat. Why didgrandpa leave
me thisplace anyways? He’d be so disappointed tofind out I can’t make
anything worth a damn.
The coat would not come unhooked, and for a brief
moment. Cedar considered tearing the hook right out of the stud
wall before setting the whole house on fire. In moments like this,
it was recommended they count down from ten. They made it to
eight before letting out a slew of colorful language and deciding it
was warm enough to go without.
In an instant they were on the sidewalk, continuing their
94

�Daytime Stars

mumbled tirade about the worthlessness of the singular hobby
they’d once enjoyed. The sidewalk was empty save for a neighbor
across the street, sitting on the porch and likely succeeding in
achieving the peace Cedar was desperately attempting. They raised
their hand in greeting, and Cedar gave a tight nod before stuffing
their hands in their jean pockets. After a while, they made the turn
up around the block, continuing the therapist-recommended deep
breaths. Why did Grandpa leave them the stupid house anyway?
Sure, it was nice having a place to live that was not someone
else’s couch, but it still proved that Cedar really was useless at
everything, including the one thing they so desperately wanted to
be good at.
But the walk proved effective, as it had so many times
before. By the time they were coming down the path back to the
large blue house, the anger had almost ebbed away completely, and
it dashed completely when they saw someone was in the yard.
A strange figure with long dark hair crouched along the
side of the fence, picking something up. She might not have heard
Cedar coming, but she certainly did when they started yelling.
“Who the hell are you?” they asked indignantly, striding up.
She scrambled away, dropping what she was holding, and as it hit
the dust, Cedar realized what it was. One of the spoons, one they’d
made yesterday with the red glass embedded in the handle.
“Oh! Sorry, are these yours? I didn’t realize, you just...
they’re always here and I figured I’d put them to good use,” the
stranger said. She looked about Cedar’s age, staring at them and
brushing a strand of hair out of her face.
“No it’s just... they’re pretty garbage, aren’t they?” Cedar
said, still staring down at the dusty spoon. They knelt and picked
it up, running fingers over the filigree. All they could see was
where the joint had melted too much, where the dents of mistaken
hammer strokes scarred the metal. The stranger let out a laugh as
they handed it to her, shaking her head.
“Garbage? Are you kidding? These are beautiful,” she said.
‘And when the light catches them, gosh, they look like daytime
stars.”
“They look like what?” All Cedar could picture was the sim,
shining ruthlessly on a pile of awful garbage they’d made with their
awful garbage hands.

95

�Daytime Stars

“Daytime stars! Come see,” she said, turning on her heel
and walking off. Cedar hesitated for a moment, weighing the risk
of following a spoon-thieving stranger, but the mysterious allure of
daytime stars was too great.
The two walked up the block and toward the long
abandoned lot that most in the neighborhood accepted as an
irremovable eyesore. They weaved around the pile of rotting wood
that was once a house and through the tall bushes to the towering
oak tree. Cedar watched as the stranger walked around the back,
scaling a rather precarious-looking ladder, and disappeared into the
wooden hole of a treehouse. How had they not realized this was
here?
The stranger’s face reappeared, and she blew a couple of
strands of hair out of her face before flashing a grin.
‘Are you coming or what?”
Cedar looked around, wondering how long it would take for
medical help to arrive if they perished on this ladder. The girl had
taken it without hesitation, and that would have to be enough.
They started the climb and poked up through the wooden
floor before letting out a gasp. The girl was sitting cross-legged
on a blanket, surrounded by the reflected light of hundreds of
spoons that had been tied to the roof. The setting sun poked its
rays through the window, lighting up the faces of the spoons and
splitting hundreds of tiny rays onto the walls. It reminded them
almost of a disco ball if each ray of light could dance on its own.
“'Vbu... you made this?” they asked, clambering into the
treehouse and sitting down.
“"You made them! You’re the one in the window!” she said,
looking around. Cedar stared at her, the lights dancing, making her
eyes glow. One was right on her eye, highlighting the emerald green
against chestnut brown hair.
“Yeah but they’re... so bad,” they protested, staring up at the
spoons with wonder. Daytime stars.
The girl shrugged, watching Cedar with a smile.
“They look fine to me,” she said, looking up at them again.
“Where did you learn how to make them?”
Cedar hesitated, thinking of the summer days when they
were young enough that everything they made was good and
everything their grandfather made was perfect.
96

�Daytime Start

“My grandpa taught me when I was little,” they said,
watching the soft breeze make the lights dance even more. “He
picked up the hobby from god knows where, but I thought it the
coolest thing in the world. I used to be okay, but now that I’ve
started doing it again I can’t make anything good.”
The girl smiled again. “Maybe you just need to look at it
from a different perspective?”
Cedar shrugged and looked over, watching her brilliant
smile.
“I guess. What’s your name, spoon thief?”
Her name was Fern, and she loved daytime stars. And
though neither of them knew it yet, she loved Cedar too.

97

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