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                    <text>getting "hirri drunk. Seeing that j to move to the Eastern Star Home *
than the present-day water well. Charlie was usually an obliging j in Arlington, where she is affec- f?
A number of people both in Bes­ friend and his home conveniently I tionately known as Grandmother r
semer and in Nebraska joined in nearby, the citizens rolled the and is one of the oldest of the lodge'
partnership with Charlie in his oil drunk official over to the Peterson home residents. She has been a;
placer mining claims. Among those home and deposited him in Agnes’ member of the lodge for 52 years,
filing with him in the Bessemer bed. Upon finding him there. Ag­ being very active in the organiza- ?
area were; His wife, Agnes, John nes naturally objected most stren­ tion wherever she lived. In her
A. O’Brian, P. T, Hoxiet, Frank uously and ran the crowd—com­ new home, she enjoys the numer- '
Rider and Amanda Rider (Agnes’ plete with drunk—out of her house. OUS parties which are held and the
si.ster), E. M. Searle (his Ogallala Another celebrating drunk mean­ popular wrestling matches avail- S
banking friend) and Eliza Searle, while,, resentful of the new femi- able on TV. When the weather perC. W. Wixcey (St. Paul newspaper nine regime at the polls, beat up mils, she visits members of her x
editor who married Charlie’s niece the electioneering Mrs. Rhode—^her family in Dallas and Houston, but^
Amelia Frederickson). Another husband being ill in bed and unable refuses to make visits “permagroup of partners consisted of: W. to take care of her. Despite all this nent,” preferring the “hotel’’ at-,'
A, and M. A. Blackmore, W. and confusion, however, Agnes Peter­ mosphere of the lodge home.
C. N. Blackmore, A. and M. Reas- son will still proudly tell you she When her son Howard returned
ner, L. M. and J. E. Line, C. E. managed to go to the polls three from Bessemer this summer with,
Frederickson (possibly Charlie’s times and vote for her favorite Dr. bits of household articles he found j
Amelia), and H. M. Jones. Also: Barber, who was elected the first at the site of the old home cellar,
A. H. Swigart, J. E. Sims, L. A. governor of Wyoming.
she quickly recognized the chips ot­
! Wiley, George H. Johnson and " Other excited voters followed Ag­ her wedding china, long lost or
Prances Johnson, John Hilton, Lew nes’ example, and when the re­ broken up Also among the sou-'
Anderson, C. H. Ford, M. M. turns were counted, Bessemer had venirs were the base of a heavy •
Neaves, F. C. Powers (from Ogal­ won the county seat over Casper. glass, turned pale violet by expo-Ai
lala) and E. R. Brisch—an anoth­ Unfortunately, the county commis­ sure to the sun, and the brown'
er group.
sioners court Investigated the re­ glass of a wine bottle which Char­
PILED CLAIMS
sults more thoroughly and discov­ lie was wont to stock in the cellar.
Claims were filed for 160 acres ered that Bessemer had more votes A child’s crushed play tea pot of
each (one quarter section) of “oil and citizens—thereby invalidating tic was still recognizable, as were
J
placer mining ground situated in returns and sending the county seat the metal wick parts which Agnes
Casper mining district. Carbon to Casper,
thought came from the kerosene
County, Wyoming Territory.” Typ­ Along in 1890, Indians in the area, lamp with its huge round chimney.
ical names given claims in the who were allowed off the reserva­ After their move to Texas, Agnes
Bessemer area were’.Dandy, En­ tions to hunt in spring and fall, never went back to -Wyoming—but
terprise, Elkhorn, Dan Stone, became increasingly bitter at see­ she looks back often. ■ Moonlight, Star No. 1 and No. 2, ing their hunting grounds destroyed “Those were the happy days,**
Julesburg, Snowbird No. 1 through. by the cattlemen and, along with. she sighs, “we had so much fun.**
No. 8, Dansk Oil Placer, Edison, ’ their %ther grievances, brokT^uJ^
! Blue Stone, Dag Oil Placer, Den- of the reservations on the warpath.
! mark Oil Placer, Standart, and Big The government issued guns and
stone
Stone Placer.
Placer.
am.munition to settlers in the
In another grouD oneration the threatened areas and warned them
Salt Creek Oil Co. &lt;con^sted of- to prepare for attack. 'The Besse7 Charles Schultz, Patrick O’Rourke nier settlers decided to move to
I and J. J. Worley. This company the stone-housed Goose Egg Ranch
had claims to the north of Besse- and there be in position to throw
I m.er, in the area which now in­ up
barricades for protection. SincoJ
cludes the famous Salt Creek Field.
was away on one of his]
! Claims in this area were called; Charlie
business expeditions, Walter BlackD-errick Eagle, Abbot Lode, Graph- more
wired him advising that Ag-i
! ite, Empire, Splendid, Platte, Take
and their children should bes
I 759, Boss, Deer Lode, Rapid Claim, nes
sent back to C®a,ha for safety andS
i Proof and Bell.
that Mrs. Blackmore might go alsoB
! The settlers continued to flock if thesituation became worse.
'
to Bessemer as long as it appeared The Peterson horses were near­
! the railroad spur was going there. ly all turned out on the prairie,
When, instead, it headed westward which was lush with grazing grass?’
from Casper, the latter town be­ Agnes
pony, however, was ‘
gan flourishing at Bessemer’s ex- given ’ toriding
her close friend, Minnie
[ pense, and a heavy rivalry devel- Blackmore.
sold some of the
' oped between the two towns. Elec- furniture toAgnes
her neighbors for
: tion fever was running high when ready cash to travel
since Char­
• Wyoming held its first state elec­ lie was still too faron,
away to help
tion, and both Casper and Besse­
Those goods that were pack­
mer fought to get the county seat. her.
able were made ready for ship­
The women’s suffrage movement ment.
Most of their belongings,'
was in full swing with Mrs. Rhode
of Bessemer running for one of however, were left with friends,
including Charlie’s old roll-top desk
, the county offices.
Election poll headquarters were and the wagon which were given
Walter Blackmore. Early one
in a new frame building, sched­ to
uled to be a saloon. Some of the morning, Agnes went to the livery ,
" “suffering” husbands, worried as barn and paid “Daddy” Eads $1# ■
to how the new vote would be used, or $15 to drive the family, now to­
i d’scovered a loose knothole in the taling four children, to Casper.
building and promptly pushed it From Casper she traveled by train
out in order that they might as­ tack to Omaha, where Amelia Fre­
certain how their wives voted. Ag- derickson joined her. Shortly aft- ■
res and Charlie Peterson disagreed erwards, the soldiers arrived to
upon the livery stable owner, Eads, protect the Wyoming settlers and
who was granting free rides to the the situation was put under control '
polls in anticipation of a county before much damage was done, at
office. Agnes respected Eads, but least in the Bessemer area.
felt that his education was short of From Omaha, the Petersons
that needed for the office. As she moved very shortly to Texas,
prepared to mark her ballot for, where Charlie resumed his land
the opposing candidate, she heard brokerage business and followed
a muffled voice groan, “Uh, the early salt dome boom along
UNH!!”, and each time she bent the Gulf Coast. He passed away in .
down to her choice, the groan was Houston in 1925, almost as well;^., .
repeated. Since she was alone in known there as in his earlier^,^,^
the room, she could not understand towns.
it until she spied an eye peeking LIVES IN TEXAS
■
at her through the knothole—where­ Agnes is now a spry young
upon she marched into the election nearly 94, living near Gallas. After
judges and demanded that they her husband’s death, she lived for^,,' '
(cover the hole so Charlie would not many years with one of her daugh-i ” .
ters, but tiring of this, she decided
be there instructing her vote!
: UNWELCOME GUEST

1 ’j/A4

This election was a very festive
one, with some of the celebrators fe".

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�By HAZEL AGNES PETERSON

terrinciT—nr-550 nidTaSs sTanamfT^

,, '

,

.—77--------------------

•‘rpHAT’S my wedding china!” she I idly about the station and, as she Ogallala, then the C. H. Ford fam-ways of a corner of the room?
exclaimed, reaching for the small stood there petrified, the train
Omaha, and the George then she carefully pulled down the
glass chip with its delicate brown pulled out leaving her alone with "lohnson family also from Ogal- shades and locked the door behind
laia. Another settler was a livery her—so that stray Indians would
pattern—and time rolled back 67 her babies—and several -----yet stable owner known as “Daddy” not see the children left alone in
years for petite, gray-haired Agnes to await Charlie’s arrival.hours
The
In-Eads
—Mrs. Peterson remembers the house. Coming back from the
Peterson. She was an attractive dians stared admiringly at the his daughter,
Fannie, whom she Goose Egg Ranch with a heavy
; young matron with three small chil­ long,
blonde hair piled upon her thinks married a ■very fine young bucket of. milk, Agnes heard the
dren when her husband, Charles head and,
she was due to cattleman from the east named children laughing gleefully. CautiPeterson, decided to forsake bank­ be scalped,certain
dashed for the Spears. Since the Peterson home ously opening the door, she noted
ing for "prospecting” in Wyoming. only shelter Agnes
in sight—the station iw'.s at Broadway and Fifth Streets a chair piled on the table beside
Dissatisfied with the family’s master’s private office and tele-many of the other Nebraska fam-the cupboard, and all three boys
choice ot a shoemaking career, graph desk. ’There, despite all pleas ilies also built on Broadway. A at individual tasks. The oldest had
! “Charlie” Peterson left Copenha­ from the distressed agent and nu- postoffice was eventually built on her fine cedar bucket with the
gen at about 14 and began sailing 1 merous quotations of railroad reg- the lot adjoining the Petersons. brass bands (out of which he had
; around the world on a Danish ship, | ulations forbidding the trespassing, c. H. Ford arrived in Bessemer dipped the water) and was rugged­
working his W’ay, Tired of .ship! she refused to budge until Charlie to find no empty beds available ly stirring fresh eggs, shells and
work and curious about the New! ^came_^ the rescue.------------------- so he went to Eads’ stable to pro­ all. The second oldest had man­
World, he came to the States as
In Glenrock, all accommodations ®dre a bale of hay and slept on it. aged to get a fire going in the wood
an immigrant late in his teens
and was peeking into the
about 1869, and began working on were crowded, but they located a I^o later built a home against the stove
new apartment building, its frame- side of a hill, braced with timbers oven at his share of the eggs lust■ ■ . The youngest was
a large
Iowa farm
and rcduy
ready lUi
for bricking,
“"o topped by dirt—so it was cool “Y cooking.
■■ir,,
—
Al. near Davenport.
**'
b. work
WUIIS. up
Udllu
Ml
-------------------------------------------xin the summer and snug in the sprawled on the floor, the wash
farmer’s wife, buflhe
irts'ida 5111ti&lt;5iently
basin between his legs, beating
taught Charlie his English and the cd for occupancy. “
The Petersons H'inter.
continne^^V”’’^®^ education. He Stayed aa week, then
men traveled in
George Johnson, who had a res- eggs with his hands and ripping
•man-,7 T.?
educate himself in their wagon to
.. Mrs.-. Gothberg’s taurant in Ogallala, eventually the mess all over the carpet. Mrs.
many ways, however, having an place on the south side ot North opened one at the Goose Egg Blackmore arrived in time to resseveral for- ^latte River,
luver, where
wuere they
mcy spem
me Ranch, where his son helped him. cue the youngest and carried him
spent the
and fnn
frequently
act- pigiit. The next day they. drove to His wife passed away after only off to her house for a bath. The
ing
as
internrptz&gt;r
tnIng
interpreter for the govern­ Eufus Rhode’s place, also bn the a short time in Bessemer.
others were soundly spanked, and
ment.
south side of the river (and near
Walter Blackmore had been own­ then Agnes started working on the
I- ,
Bouin
Union
^®"^®sent for the present-day Goose Egg Inn), er of a large drugstore in Ogallala, carpet with soap suds and broom­
vember laid
mjS?’‘^*’0 spring wagon used for this so he built one in Bessemer also. using the precious water hauled
vember,
persuading
several trip was a type of buckboard drawn --ne
The xcai
rear ux
of me
the amre
store provinea
provided asas- from the river in barrels. (Not long
bnaf
In n 1884,
« o rSrs
’dC-ing s.,v&lt;,i„l
enme
families by two horses—no top. but with saying quarters for Charlie Peter- afterward, the town dug a com­
.r
“x®?.
settle two seats across it in front, Charlie son. This ex-banker W’ould come munity well, which allowed freer
the ..“UP” .lands
. of- the midwest.
■■
■ p5ed it later to take men out sight- back from the mountains with a use of water for the townspeople.)
He tlien Joined H. L McWilliams seeing in the Bessemer area. ’The sack full of rocks and hand them The Goose Egg Ranch stood near
and E. M.. Searle in a -partnership. two horses were driven from Ogal- one by one to Blackmore for test- the present-day Red Buttes stone
monument, erected in 1930 to mark,
which liuilt the First Keith County laia. and two more w'ere later ‘ing.
National Bank in Ogallala, Neb. bought in Wyoming.
“You think this one Is gold—yes, the Oregon Trail. Mrs. Clark, th'*
The First'National Bank was also The melting sncws and spring ‘Doc’?” Charlie would ask, “Or owner’s wife, always had a won­
derful dinner party at ’Thanksgiv­
built, but one of the bank officials rain made the Norf. Platte too tt**? one?”
No, Charlie,” Blackmore would ing and Christmas for the Ogallala
developed typhoid fever, thereby full
ferry or skiff was
delaying the opening and divert-,usually
- used,
• - *but■ a wooden
’ «bridge
—
sold, and would drop families and the Fords—too long
she had lived in the wilderness
V
crosses it.) There were othlast sample onto the table.
without neighbors and she wel­
•
ws at the Rhodc’s house, however, discovered COAL
On
was one of the “Roa’ Ranches’
“ one of these excursions, how- comed the newcomers. She always
and was the 22nd member and a It
taking paying guests, and the Pe- ever, Charlie uncovered a coal vein made a huge cake topped with
Master Mason. As a result of his tersons acquired t.ie living
■
room. which provided fuel for the Peter' v/hipped cream which she served
many successful business activities Charlie and family ■■were
the sons and the Blackmon s. Its loca­. to th^-guests,. In _the wintertime,
and his friendly personality. Char- ranch a 'iw : lonths, during at
her two daughters were away at
which tion is now forgotten.
lie became both wealthy and well- time Agnes decided she had
to
The lime kiln still standing inI Cheyenne in school, but summers
kno'wn, prior to leaving Nebraska have more rooi for three active
the side of the mountains beyondI they went to the various homes of
' for Wyoming.
iChildren. Mr. Rhode then white­ Rhode’s place was built about thisi Bessemer to help their neighbors,
His wife was Agnes Willman washed and fixed up a bunkhouse, time—even now it is ready for use, iicluding Agnes, with household
Lawrence, bom 1861 in Steelville, 'since it was off-season for the cow- with wood placed for the next user.. tasks.
111., one of the younger of a large iboys and W'a unoccupied. *
Contrary to popular tradition, iti DRILLED FOR OIL
pioneer family, but orphaned at an [BUILT FIRST HOUSE
was not a natural kiln—Peterson Charlie Peterson''^s interests In
early age. She attended school in The Petersons at last crossed the and Blackmore were among thoseI! Wyoming
lay in more than prosIllinois and Neola, la.—in addition
went up the bluff, and about responsible for its construction,. pecting for gold. Just previous to
, to traveling weekly to a nearby river,
a mile from the Goose Egg Ranch W'ith Ford among those actually' the move to Bessemer, Charlie was
; town for oil painting lessons from they
the first house in Besse­ doing the labor. Agnes PetersonI sent by a group of railroad offij a well-known Dutch artist. Agnes mer built
townsite. Charlie had visions remembers Charlie paid the crew' cials to represent them ana .superand her sister finally went out on of a great
town, with the railroad of laborers and furnished three' vise the very secretive drilling of
I their own and started their dress­ spur due to
come to Bessemer. : -lonths of food supplies. including! an oil well in the mountains—probmaking and millinery business. After him came
other hopeful set­ $100 worth of sardines of every' ably the earliest in Wyoming The
Then, acquiring a little “Western tlers, many of them
his friends variety to feed the men. :For some' Ogallala newspaper’s editor and
fever,” Agnes went with Hugh L. from Omaha and Ogallala.
reason, however, Charlie never got■ his son-in-law, an official of the
McWilliams and his family to Ogal­ homes were all log structures,’Their
save any lime out of the kilnI after its' railroad, persuaded Charlie to hanlala—^where both Agnes and tlie perhaps for some stone houses
— completion—perhaps he was too' die this work, for which he was
McWilliams family took out home- w'ithout the railroad, no lumber
busy prospecting.
well-paid. The well, however, was
steads. Hugh did Agnes’ plowing in -w'as available. In the mountains
Sardines were part of the foodI dry. (With so shallow a hole, who
1' exchange for her helping his wife tliere were many trees which could staples regularly ordered by Char­■ knows what lay beneath with presI with the family sewing. McWll- be felled and left to season — a lie twice a year from St. Louis.. ent-day depths for drilling?) Alter
I liams became good friends with imark in each one to identify the When the supplies reached Casper,, settling at Bessemer, Charlies fre1 Charlie Peterson and joined him owner.
j it took a drayman two trips to get
in a real estate firm and the tnuxk 1 Not long after the Petersons, the ! them all delivered to the Peterson: quently took Agnes out to the
I mountains for a ride—the children
previously mentioned.
.^Valter A. Blackmores came from : home.
placed in the rear of the spring
Charlie courted Agnes for some |
i The Blackmores were particular!I wagon on a feather bed, where they
time and, over the protests of a!
I ly close friends of the Petersons^• could sleep, and Agnes riding her
wealthy wholesaler also courting,
: and frequently entertained theI own pony alongside the wagsa. On
[ became engaged to her. ’They were
youngest child at their home. When' one of these trips, they rode west' married at the Paxton Hotel in i
Charlie was gone on his trips, the! ward about an hour when they
I Omaha; in 1883, and eventually [.
-Blackmores came over, and slept■ came to a large pile of rocks. Unmoved to Ogallala.
j
at the Peterson house, so that Ag­' derneath them, Charlie showed her
Although Charlie had traveled •.
nes would not be alone. Minnie’ a box ot documents belonging to
extensively, the young couple was I
Blackmore v/as well-known for her the railroad officials, carefully
hardly prepared for Indian terri-p^
; ability as a pianist—but frequently placed in a hole and covered with
I tory. Charlie’s enthusiasm for the j
played hooky with Agnes to go fish-' dirt and rocks to blend w'ith the
wild, un.settled country was bound- i [T.
’ ing in the North Platte.
scenery. (One wonders what man­
less, however. Soon after their
Every house had hunting guns, ner of deal was so secretive that
as game of all types was abund­■ it needs be buried in the moun­
marriage, he persuaded Agnes to :
ant, but having small children tains, rather than placed in office
sell her homestead, rather than be ’
forced to work at farming and be "
meant that the Winchester and' files!)
tied to one town.
&lt;
shotgun in the Peterson house had Charlie’s second well was, ac­
to be put high on the walls. Along cording to Agnes drilled quite
LEFT FOR WYOMING
with the guns, deer heads and pol­ close to Bessemer .ownsite. R. B.
In the spring of 1888, the young
ished buffalo horns (used for hat­ Blackmore of Casper, Walter’s son,
family, now five in number, left t
racks) adorned the walls.
has an old picture thought to be
their Ogallala homo and started
Just before Christmas one year, that of the second well—this phofor Wyoming. Agnes and the chil­
Agnes
secured
two
dozen
eggs
and)
tograph showing an old cable too!
dren rode the train all night to Annpc
Glenrock, while Charlie drove ^9"®^ Peterson in Omaha a few pounds of butter from the jig and various Bessemer people
through more slowly in his spring­ before the family moved to Goose Egg_ JRanch, intending to, interested in the well—which was
bake cakes. The supplies’-were put also* dry.^This well was driiied onb'
board wagon. On descending to the Bessemer in 1888.
high in the cupboard (built cross--------------------------------------------platform at Glenrock, Agnes was

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                    <text>JRn Empty Space af ETIestky Dust
Weston Chorak
If ever there was a great hypocrite of all the Earth, it was me. I always told you not to
procrastinate, and it took me three days after the funeral to actually pack up your things. I slept on

Monday, My Tuesday was spent awake in the insterstice of exhaustion and melancholic stupor, and

Wednesday was mostly answering calls and emails. I got myself up early on Thursday morning to get it
over with.

I must have stood in the doorway to your apartment for a long time. Two of your neighbors had
walked past me to go to work and they spent the whole time staring. The second at least gave me a nod.
Some sort of pity. The first had only watched with blank eyes void of concern and covered in a thin film of

annoyance.

Even in those few days, the air had filled with dust and cobweb, but the heavy chill echoed over

flashes of red and blue that still seemed to pour in through the window. I brought the flat boxes from
my car and I unfolded them and stacked them in a pile off to the side. I started to organize the clutter.

No matter how many times I said it, I don’t think you ever learned to keep your piles in order. At a certain
point, you were out of my house, so it didn't hurt me for you to leave your things scattered everywhere,
and I stopped mentioning it. I couldn’t step in any direction without having to watch for plates, or stacks
of papers, or old books of poetry. Sometimes, I would just stand there and look at them as they lay

sprawled on the carpet.

The funeral was busy. There must have been a few hundred people who came by. They didn’t really
talk to me, so they just stood there and I stood there and we listened to the quiet music. I even saw a few

of your old classmates from high school that said they hadn't talked to you in years, but they still showed

up, and 1 thanked them, I know you didn’t like crowds, but I think you would be happy to hear that people
were there. I left after everyone was gone and I threw my handful of dirt and watched my child's casket go

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down,

I taped up the boxes that were full. It was midday by then, and my mind posed, for the first
time this week, the question of food. I went out and locked the apartment. I was going to get lunch at a
sandwich shop downtown, but halfway there I decided I wasn’t hungry.
Before I went back, I spent my afternoon in the art gallery. Warm heat hung in the air and the

paintings dripped from walls painted in an Oxford tan. I cupped my hands to catch and drink from each
canvas while 1 sat on the benches. There weren’t enough works on display, I thought. The rooms stretched
tall and each canvas was wilting, contained within a space of mostly dust and faded classical music

ringing hollow through speakers behind the walls as rain pushed on the windows, I don't think 1 saw a

single other person the entire time.
I know you liked the gallery, but 1 could never find it in me to care for some old statues and

portraits. They seemed so still to me. Empty and vacuous. They were the dead fruits of dead men, and
if I reached out 1 thought they would crumble before I could even touch them. But 1 sat there a while
and 1 watched them move. I heard you in the brushstrokes. I watched you walk in the grasses of the
Netherlands and I sat with you and contemplated the nature of the stars above Athens, Birds sang

overhead and perched in canopy ceilings while deer grazed the cold tile. We watched as apples on a table

grew ripe and then fell to rot.
The city was rotting too. Exhaust consumed petrichor and all silence died in the flow of people
between their daily places, I walked back to the complex through swamps of wet concrete and grime,

through alleys of smoke and low fog. I wasn’t used to your key, and 1 fumbled for a minute unlocking the
door. It stuck twice before opening. The evening cast a dull blue glow through the blinds. I didn’t bother

with the lights or with locking the door after I closed it.

65th Edition

163

�An Empty Space of Mostly Dust

I had been efficient in the morning. Almost everything from the center room and kitchen was
boxed already, the walls bare and unfurnished. I'd even started on the bedroom before I left. I spent the

evening packing the remainder of the things away, it was mostly the clothes and shoes from your closet
To be honest. I don't know what I'll do with them. It wouldn’t feel right to sell them or give them away, but

I don't have anywhere to keep them. I'll at least find a place for the pictures. I’ll keep your books as well. I
don't know why you loved the poems so much, but I know you did, so I'll do my best to take care of the lot.
It felt odd to be in your room. It was a box, the short ceiling leaning into an empty space of

mostly dust and air hissing behind the walls as saltwater leaked through the corners. It was a place I had
imagined countless times this week. I was myself, answering my phone. I was an officer, making the call

and noting the time on my watch. Sometimes, I was you, and I sat with my back against the door and I

wore your mask and held the valves and I breathed in nitrogen, I felt my skin go cold, and my vision grew

dark as I saw the blue in your face.

I spent most of today at the gallery. I sat and drank from each dripping canvas. I watched the sun
set over the Mediterranean and felt the winds of the Alps. I sat at the tables of kings and looked through

the windows of seaside diners. I watched my child walk away on a windswept forest trail under the falling
boughs of yellow leaves. I watched you fade into the distance. I waited as long as 1 could.
I'll be driving home tonight. I just wanted to say some things to you before I left. I think this is a

very nice spot, and it's right next to your mother, so I hope you don't mind it. I think she would want her
child to be with her. I think it would be nice to sleep under the oaks, and they cast a nice shade over you in

the mornings. I think I'll be buried here someday too.
I won't ask why you did this. Even if you could answer, I don't think I would ever understand, I

could read a thousand books of poetry and stare at a thousand old portraits and it wouldn’t change a

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�/In Empty Space of Mostly Dust

thing. It doesn't even matter at this point does it? This is not a poem. The meaning of the words won’t
scrape the ink from the page. I just have to know you’re at peace.

The painted sky drips down as all the yellow turns to red and brown and fails away before me,
and I wish I could just sit here under these withering trees with you a while longer.

65th Edition

165

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                    <text>Flyway: Journal of Writing and Environment

�The terms “migration route” and
“flyway” have in the past been used
more or less indiscriminately but
... it seems desirable to designate as

migration routes the individual lanes

of avian travel from breeding grounds

to winter quarters, and as flyways
those broader areas into which certain
migration routes blend or come
together....

—F.H. Kortright, The Ducks,
Geese and Swans ofNorth America

Flyway: Journal of
Writing and Environment
Vol. 14.1

�An Imaginary Fish
C
o
V5
a

nonfiction • flyway

I eat breakfast in diners, lhere are a number to choose from
in Casper, Wyoming, and they’re all similar. 'They’re full
of vinyl chairs and old men using salt and grease to hasten
their way into graveyards. Every ramshackle breakfast spot
in town has at least one waitress named Shirley, and even if
their names are really Megan or Janet, they could still pass
for Shirleys. My favorite egg and bacon hole stands next to
a truck stop on the interstate running beside the Bozeman
Trail. In its prime, the Tumbleweed Cafe served steak from
six to eleven, but the owners haven’t hosted a dinner in
fifteen years. 'They have all they can do to lure a counter full
of white males in for coffee before nine o’clock. I’m there at
quarter after eight.
When I moved to Wyoming, it became clear that
I was going to share meals with geologists if I was going to
frequent old diners. 'The regional economy has drawn earth
scientists to town for a century. In the early 1900s, a handful
of drillers found oil in quantities large enough to catch
the eye of petroleum giants Sinclair and Conoco. People
called Casper the “Oil City.” They projected it would grow
to become the hub of the Rockies—bigger than Denver.
It didn’t work out like that, but the fossils are still in the
ground, so we’re home to a high number of geoscientists.
I took geology as a freshman in college. I couldn’t
resist. Earth science did not relate to my major, but I didn’t
care. As a kid I spent entire afternoons walking gravel roads,
searching for agates. My parents gave me a rock polishing kit
in 1977. Every two months I loaded the tumbler and added
a cup of mysterious powder. When the machine shut off,
I opened the lid and found a container of gem stones. 'The
stripes and colors convinced me that there is enchantment
in the world beneath our feet.
I took that sense of awe with me to my geology
course, and I found a teacher whose sense of wonder
actually exceeded mine. Professor Ted Abrahams talked
about tectonic plates in a tone that I associate with religion.
I still use the terms and concepts that I learned—especially
when I’m on a road trip. 'The problem is that my wife gets
nervous when I point to the difference between igneous and

�64

flyway • nonfiction

Hanson

sedimentary rock through the window of the car at sixty
miles an hour.
When I began eavesdropping on the conversations
of geologists over breakfast, I noticed that the tone was less
than reverent. That took me by surprise. Mostly, the Earth
was referred to as a “son-of-a-bitch.” In truth, any person
or thing that came between these men and deposits of oil
were referred to this way: layers of bedrock, bureaucrats,
incompetent crews of employees. Come to think of it, most
people and things were referred to as sons-of-bitches. I don’t
mind that kind of talk. I use the terms myself. I use them
more than I should, but I like the old guys at the diner. I’m
looking forward to becoming one of them someday. I curse
as a way of practicing for life as a codger with nobody to
force me to behave myself. Son-of-a-bitch!

Today the conversation isn’t about drilling rigs, soil
composition, or the petroleum market. The subject this
morning is fly fishing. Jimmy drove over from Glenrock.
He dropped his wife off at the shopping mall. Fred asks
him what he's been up to and he explains that he fished the
Laramie River yesterday. I chime in that I’ve heard good
reports from the south fork of the stream.
Jimmy says, “Yeah. We did alright. My grandson
caught a half a dozen brook trout. We ate them on shore.
That kid is gonna be a fisherman.”
I go back to reading my copy of Desert Solitaire.
Fred asks Jim, “Have you fished Porter Creek?”
He replies, “No. I think that’s private land. I haven’t
asked permission to fish, but I heard there are bull trout over
there.”
Fred and Jim continue to talk about the area.
I continue to pretend that I’m reading, but I can’t read
because I’m busy listening to them. Jim explains that
you can access the water on pubhc land if you drive
south to Wheatland and then go west on a dirt road. The
stream carves a canyon into the east slope of the Laramie
Mountains. A rancher by the name of Hemstead owns the
property along the foothills of the range, but the creek
starts in the high country on land within the Medicine Bow
National Forest.

�Jim tells Fred about a rumor that Hemstead’s
grandfather used to bring buckets of bull trout back from
Montana. He says, “Ihe ospreys and pelicans ate most of
them, but the wise ones hunkered down, became adults, and
now they reproduce.”
Fred says, “I’ve heard about bull trout. Ihey’re like
brookies, but they’re big and aggressive.”
Jimmy says, “Brook-trout-a-go-go.”

An Imaginary
Fish

Two days later. I’m headed to Porter Creek. I’ve read about
bull trout. They’re endangered. Their standards for clean
water are high, and the number of western streams pure
enough for them shrunk in the twentieth century. Today, the
fish are protected. James Prosek painted a picture of a bull in
his masterful book of illustrations titled. Trout. The mixture
of uncommonness and beauty prompted me to drive down
past Wheatland and then west to the Medicine Bow.

While I’m loading my backpack in the car, my wife steps into
the garage with the helmet I use for skateboarding. She says,
“Take this with you.” She worries when I travel by myself,
especially when I set out for a new canyon. I don’t try hard
enough to ease her fears. I actually raise her level of concern
with stories of rattlesnakes and brushes with death on the
edges of cliffs. What can I say? It’s nice to have someone who
worries about you.
The stories are easy to exaggerate. Canyons can beat
you up. I come home with scrapes on my elbows and knees.
Once, I came home with a case of poison ivy that ran from
my toes up to a spot where you would not want a skin rash.
Another time, I had to climb home with a gash on my ankle
so deep it revealed the bone. I’m not about to start wearing a
helmet when I fish, but I promise Lynn I’ll come back safe.
There is no trail to Porter Creek. Still, I find a spot where
people park their cars. I am not the first one to make the
descent. It looks simple enough. The gorge is four hundred
feet deep, and I manage without having to climb. There is
just one place where I have to hang by my hands and drop
over a ledge.
Once I’m on shore, I fit the pieces of my fly rod
together. I slip out of my boots and into a pair of sandals.

65

�66

flyway • nonfiction

Hanson

I tie a Goddard’s caddis fly to the end of my line, and then
take a seat on a downed tree. Beside a creek, I usually get
so excited I charge into the water, flailing like an idiot. This
time I take stock of what lies before me, above me, and
to the sides. Fifteen minutes pass. It’s easy to spend time
watching a stream: stripes on a canyon wall, the shapes of
cottonwoods along the bank, pillows of water bubbling up
behind boulders.
In contrast, no one takes time to stare at a football
field. Baseball diamonds don’t inspire, and I’ve never heard
of anybody getting lost in the majesty of a hockey arena.
I am reluctant to compare fishing to other sports. I don’t
think of angling as a sport. I don’t really know what to call it,
except “something I have to do, despite several good reasons
not too.”
'This isn’t my first staring contest with a creek. I am
thankful for my sunglasses. A harsh light beats on Wyoming.
Low elevation states have a mile’s worth of atmosphere
to take the edge off of the rays. In the West, we’re right up
on the sun. 'The light can burn in ways that we don’t even
understand.

My wife and I met in Tucson. We rented our first apartment
from an artist by the name ofJohn Botrell. The walls of his
studio were lined with eight by ten foot desert scenes. At
first, I assumed the pictures were photographs. While he
sifted through a stack of paper, searching for the proper
lease to sign, I took a close look at the images. 'They were
paintings—perfect reproductions of the local scenery.
When I asked about his process, he explained that he mixes
a dollop of white paint into every color on his palette. In the
end, the shades and tones match our squint-eyed view of the
landscape.
The precision of the work struck me, but I am a
fan of more impressionistic art. I like it when painters take
some creative license. When it comes to reahsm, I say, “Get a
camera if you want to make a photograph.”

On our way home, I asked Lynn, “Isn’t he just
another realist, trying to recreate the desert with tiny camelhair brushes?”
She replied, “No.”

�Then after a moment of silence^ she said, “He is a

cactus.”

An imaginary
Fish

My line falls onto the water. Then it drifts toward me on the
creek. I pick up the fly and toss it over and over. I watch the
course of the fake bug on the current every time.
I fish dry flies. Ihat means I fish sporadically. Mostly,
I take to the water when bugs hatch off of the surface.
I’ve never felt the need to keep a strict angling schedule. I
have friends that take pride in fishing across the calendar,
including December and January. Others spend a hundred
days on the water every year. Such efforts are very American.
When we enjoy something, we tend to take that thing to an
extreme.
For example, I have a colleague I cannot picture
without a pipe full of tobacco jutting from between his
teeth. Of course, there is nothing wrong with enjoying the
smoke from a bowl of burning tobacco. I bring a pipe with
me when I pack into the Big Horn Range. Once or twice a
year, around sunset, I like to commemorate a moment spent
alone at the base of a granite cirque. But a dozen times a
day? Every single day that you’re alive?
White people learned about tobacco from Native
Americans. Ihe plant does not grow in Europe. For a
thousand years, native people coaxed smoke from the leaves
of the plant they called “kinnikinnick.” They used it for
ceremonial purposes. Tobacco played a role in attempts at
diplomacy. A chief would inhale smoke from a pipe, raise it
in the direction of the four winds, and then pass it on. The
ritual formed and then helped to maintain relationships. The
smoldering leaves made the men’s breath and the air around
them visible—it symbolized their common bond to the
Earth and its atmosphere. White people turned the act into a
meaningless habit.
I continue to cast, and my attention shifts to the geologists at
the diner. Fred and Jim spent their careers drilling, dredging,
stripping, and otherwise ruining the land, but when they
talked about the possibility of bull trout up on Porter Creek,
their eyes shone. They liked the thought that someone gave
the rare fish a new habitat.

67

�Hanson

Westerners have an odd relationship with the
environment. For generations, newcomers took what they
wanted. At various times, waves of settlers flocked to the
region to fulfill their ambitions: miners, loggers, trappers,
homesteaders, buffalo hunters, and today, a combination of
roughnecks and corporate executives. Museums are full of
sepia-toned photos of men with waxed moustaches posed
in front of sawmills, mines, drill towers, and mountains
of bison skulls. We spent two hundred years acting like
voracious adolescents.

flyway • nonfiction

Not long ago, our culture and history met up with a
population of bull trout struggling to hold their place in
the Jarbidge Wilderness of Nevada. Jarbidge, Nevada isn’t
on the way to anything. It’s a tiny berg at the end of a gravel
road. Its population is made up of ranchers, prospectors, and
an assortment of people who dropped out of society. It’s a
prickly bunch. They’re isolated and committed to a way of
life that began four branches up their family trees.
In 1998, a storm washed out a road that ran
alongside the Jarbidge River. The road led to the wilderness
area north of town. When the Forest Service heard about
the damage, they decided to close the road as opposed to
having it repaired. They based their choice on a concern for
the bull trout in the river. They assumed that road building
in Jarbidge Canyon would increase the amount of silt
running downstream, and bull trout cannot tolerate any dirt
in the water. Their gills evolved in clear creeks. Anything less
than pure can snuff them out.
The people ofJarbidge did not like the decision. The
thought that they would have to alter their driving habits
for a fish sent them into an angry funk. They protested
the ruling that prevented them from using public land for
their private purposes. At first, the protest took the form of
letters and telephone conversations, but those efforts did
not succeed. In the face of having to bend their interests to
those of a threatened trout, the people ofJarbidge began
to organize a full-scale public tantrum. They started laying
plans for a “shovel brigade.”
On July 4th, 2000, a hundred people gathered to
rebuild the road that had been closed to save the bull trout
in the river. The event seized the attention of the media.

�Interviewees vented their frustration. They trumpeted their
right to do what they pleased on the land their ancestors
stole from Native Americans. Actually, they left out the part
about living on stolen land and borrowed time. Nobody
even mentioned trout—the sole reason the Forest Service
decided not to fix the road.

An imaginary
Fish

People like using public land as they see fit.
Throughout our history we encouraged that tendency—for
example, we used the Hard Rock Mining Act of 1872 to
help settle the Rockies. We said, “There’s gold in them thar
hills!” and we told people to go out and get some. Although,
at the time, that meant gray haired old guys with teams of
mules were lighting out for the territory. It was quaint and
romantic. I grew up watching Grizzly Adams in prime time. I
know the story. You do too.
So do the people ofJarbidge, Nevada. They know
the tale perhaps too well. The story says, “Big, wild men
should do what they want in this big, wild world.” The story
made sense in the 1800s. The problem is that it’s not the
1800s anymore. The twenty-first century world isn’t big
or wild. It’s indefatigably small, and some of its pieces are
shrinking and threatening to vanish forever.
The America where everybody takes what they
want, without a thought toward the consequence is gone.
The Hard Rock Mining Act of 1872 is still the law of the
land, but lately gray haired men with teams of mules are not
the ones taking advantage of its provisions. Today, corporate
giants based in places like England, Denmark, and Canada
use the law to extract oil and minerals from the American
West. The quaint, romantic story about striking out on your
own and making it big as a freedom-loving individual turned
into the story of how corporations use lawyers and lobbyists
to take what they want from states hke Wyoming, New
Mexico, and Montana.
I decide to hike upstream on shore. Porter Creek’s
streambed is pocked with boulders, each one a potential
hiding place for trout. Twenty yards along I fling a fly onto
the water upstream from a rock. The bug drifts along the
near side of the stone and vanishes—gulped by a fish.
The trout runs for a deep stretch and I follow him
through the current. I make it to the edge of the pool, but

o

5’
o'
o

69

�Hanson

I’m up to my waist, so I cannot wade any further. I let the
bend and flex of the rod wear the fish out to the point where
I can pull him toward me. It’s a brook trout—just a common
fish. He is spectacular. I don’t hold him for too long. I release
the hook from his jaw and then ease him back into the creek.
The stream fishes well through the morning and into
the afternoon. I catch seven brook trout within a mile of my
vehicle. The rock cliffs on both sides of the creek close in
and grow taller as I make my way upstream. When I stop, the
gap between the walls creates a narrow band of sky up at the
canyon’s rim. Through the slot I watch two prairie falcons
soar in circles, sliding into and out of view.

70

flyway • nonfiction

On the bank, beside the water, I develop a theory. Bull
trout never swam the pools of Porter Creek. I’m afraid the
geologists at the Tumbleweed Cafe are mildly delusional,
but I forgive them. They are old. They spent forty years
working to help corporations extract profits from the public
land in Wyoming. When they were young, I’m sure that
seemed like a sound choice. The business gave them stature,
built six- and seven-bedroom homes, put Cadillacs and
pickup trucks in three car garages. Even so, at some point,
people grow tired of seeing their plains and forests bought
up and ravaged by multinational companies. At some point
you start to root for the underdog, even when the dog is an
imaginary fish.

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                    <text>Pin hncamphete Enesnary
Joseph Meeks
It was old-man Harver who said it first. He had come to the ranch to visit my grandmother; she wasn't

home, and he spied me sitting on the porch of our house and limped over. He asked if my mother was

home, but I think he knew she wasn't because she always worked weekdays. Then, he asked about my
dad. Was my dad home. His face was expressionless, but there was an inflection in his voice that hinted

that he knew the answer to this, too. Harver wasn’t what I would call a family friend, more of a fellow
farmer that occasionally borrowed equipment from our family. My grandmother had known him for

decades prior to my birth, so he was simply "Old Man Harver" to me.
"I heard there was some trouble last night at the bar, that your dad was involved. Saw the ambulance

running hot towards Evanston with lights and sirens blaring. Someone said a man died. Did your mom talk

to you about anything like that?"

"No sir. Didn’t hear anything." Truthfully, my dad was rarely home in the summertime when I woke up, so
not seeing him today sparked no suspicion. "Do you know who died?"

"I don't know for sure, but it didn’t sound like it was your dad. In fact, that maybe your dad did something
to the man. But I’ve probably said too much already. Did you see your mom last night or this morning?"
"She put us to bed last night, but I was asleep when she left today."
Some trouble at the bar. That explains the late-night phone call. When mom had answered the phone,

her face had frozen in curiosity, her head nodding in understanding. Then she was crying softly, but still
nodding her head. And then she hung up, wiped the tears away, and didn't seem sad anymore. She read

her book for a while, said goodnight, and went to bed. In the moment, it wasn't out of the ordinary.
My dad was known in the small town of Carter as a free-thinking man that enjoyed a good time, so long

166

Expression Magazine

�/In Incomplete Memory

as you didn't mockingly disagree with him. A lot of his beliefs were cringing, so it could be difficult not
to. Vietnam had been kinder to him than most. He suffered no obvious physical damage and only slightly

noticeable mental damage. It was the emotional effects that stood out. Anger, impatience, and sadness

flowed regularly from his self and those that knew him before he volunteered claim they were new.
Though he rarely obeyed the law, he had never been to jail, nor seriously injured anyone to my knowledge.

But we all knew he was capable.

"Okay son. I'll let you alone then. Tell your grammy I was here."
I was 12 years old when this happened. Our ranch was fairly large. We had several hundred acres of

farmland, a decent number of cows, and several barns and corrals. Looking back, it's easy to see that we
were not a rich family, but not poor either. But, at the time, I felt rich. I felt important. And I felt that an old

burned out farmer with a shitty truck and no functioning farm equipment had no place telling me what he
had told me.

"You want to know something that I heard?" I said before he got in his truck. "I heard that you were at the

cafe the other day and exposed yourself to the waitress. Just whipped it out and stared at her, like it was

a cool rock you'd found and needed to show someone. I heard it wasn’t the first time you did that, too."
“That’s an inappropriate thing to say to me, Nathan." He got in his truck and drove away.

They found my dad a few days later, hiding in the hills. He had dug a large trench in a valley using a shovel,
off the main road a few hundred yards. The trench was just big enough for his small black Tacoma to roll

into and not be seen without the right angle. He didn't resist and didn’t apologize. The story I heard was

that he was in a good mood when the cops found him. He even joked about how convenient it was that he

65th Edition

167

�An Incomplete Memory

drove the Tacoma to the bar and not the dually.
I don't think my mother was too upset about it. I guess she wanted him gone for a while and now he was

gone. Freedom after so many years of uncertainty, She rarely dated afterwards and never remarried.

It was definitely a hard time for the family, and we al! made adjustments over time. But it wasn’t so
devastating that it ruined our lives. I visited my dad several times in prison during my youth and into
young adulthood. He was released shortly after my twenty-second

birthday.
The most feeling I get about what happened is when I think about what I'd said to Harver. Did he expose

himself to the waitress at our local cafe? I doubt it. But somebody said he did. Somebody said it first and it
leaked to the rest of us. The rumor hangs around town like a bad smelt that never goes away.

168

Expression Magazine

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