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                  <text>This collection consists of digitized Wyoming Symphony Orchestra posters available for research use through the Goodstein Foundation Library. The archives of the Orchestra consist of programs, posters, photographs, scrapbooks, notebooks, records, and ephemera produced by the Wyoming Symphony Orchestra.</text>
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                <text>6th Annual Symphony of Christmas Homes</text>
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                <text>Poster for the Wyoming Symphony Orchestra's 6th Annual Symphony of Christmas Homes Celebration. This poster is a part of the Wyoming Symphony Orchestra Archives made available for research use by the Goodstein Foundation Library Special Collections. The archives of the Orchestra consist of programs, posters, photographs, scrapbooks, notebooks, records, and ephemera produced by the Wyoming Symphony Orchestra.</text>
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                <text>87th Birthday</text>
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                <text>James, Verda.</text>
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                <text>The Verda James folder contains 15 photographic prints of Verda James. These photographs are part of a collection that consists of photographs and negatives created and used by the Casper Star Tribune from 1967 until the middle of 1995 according to a newspaper article on the donation from February of 2000. In the words of Special Collections Curator, Kevin Anderson, the photographs in this collection serve to document "events in our own lives, events in our own history." There were 19,000 envelopes that were gifted to the repository, which totaled between 330,000 and 460,000 images. Images in this collection may support the use of other collections in the repository or vice versa.</text>
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                <text>Casper Star-Tribune Photographs, NCA 01.ii.2000.01. Casper College Archives and Special Collections.</text>
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                <text>1988-09-27</text>
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                <text>Archivists are happy to assist anyone with accessing the physical or electronic copies of photographs. The Casper College Goodstein Foundation Library is glad to grant uses of this material that it actively manages and cares for and will provide its publication policy upon request.</text>
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            <name>Provenance</name>
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                <text>The Casper Star-Tribune gifted 20 years of photographic negatives and prints to Casper College early in the year 2000. These photographs and negatives have been managed by the Casper College Archives and Special Collections housed in its Western History Center.</text>
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A CENTURY OF LOVE:

rA New Interpretation
of Shakespeare’s Sonnets

�THE PREMIERE LECTURE
in

The Margaret Demorest Lectures
in the Humanities

A CENTURY OF LOVE:

A New Interpretation of Shakespeare’s Sonnets
by

Margaret Demorest

Casper College

Casper, Wyoming

Gertrude Krampert Theatre

February 7, 1986

�THE MARGARET DEMOREST LECTURES
IN THE HUMANITIES
"A Century of Love” is the culminating program in the month-long
1986 Humanities Festival at Casper College; the lecture is the first
in an annual lecture series which was created by Casper College
in 1985 in honor of retiring instructor Margaret Demorest. It is

funded by the Casper College Foundation and private donors. The

purpose is to encourage research in the humanities and to provide

programs which demonstrate the value that the humanities have
in our lives. Each year a lecturer will be chosen on the basis of

the originality of the proposal, its value as a contribution to the
humanities, and the interest which the topic will hold for the public.
Eligible to apply as a lecturer for this program is anyone whose

research enhances some area of the humanities: art, music, drama,
literature, foreign languages, philosophy, history, anthropology, or
law. For more information write to:
The Margaret Demorest Lecture Series

Casper College
125 College Drive

Casper. WY 82601

Funding for the 1986 Humanities Festival
has been provided by

Casper College Foundation

Private Donations
Wyoming Council for the Humanities

Co-sponsored by
Natrona County School District No. I

Natrona County Public Library

ARTCORE

�CONTRIBUTORS

Alpha Delta Kappa, Gamma Chapter

Carolyn Deuel

Norman and Anna Marie Ball
Mrs. Beatrice Batten
Mrs. Norma Bay
Ms. Jane Bovie

Mr. and Mrs. Richard Dorsey
Mr. and Mrs. Robert Dove
O. E. "Swede” Erickson

Mr. and Mrs. Whitney A. Bradley

William and Marietta Estabrook

Mr. William F. Bragg, Jr.

Ms. Betty Evenson

Mrs. Sharon Brondos
Dr. Robert and Madeline Brown

Mrs. Rose Forrister

Susanne (Sue) Barber Brubaker

Fremont Beverages, Inc
Ann Gaviotis
Georgia Gaviotis

Evelyn Brummond and James Herb

Ms. Ann Burke

Diane M. Ernst

Mrs. Joan Fredriksen

Mr. and Mrs. Brian Burke
Dan and Ellen Burke

Ms. Jean Goedicke

Mr. and Mrs. Michael Burke
Mrs. Johnnie Burton

Mr. and Mrs. Paul Hallock

Casper Business and Professional

Mrs. Mary Hein
Mr. and Mrs. James Herzog

Women

Greg and Karla Greenlee
Rick and Verna Harker

Ms. Laura A. Butler

Mrs. Wilma Hoffman

Dr. and Mrs. Robert K. Carlson

Mrs. Phoebe Holzinger
Robert and Shirley Jacob
Marsha Hagen Jenkins
Mr. Harold Josendal

Bill and Jan Chambers
Representative Dick Cheney
Dr. Celeste Colgan
Diane Collins

Kinskey Mini Mart Foundation

Mr. Ray Cook

Ms. Julie A. Klinker

Ms. Katherine Dexter Cottam

Mr. John T. Daniels

Arlene Larson
Miguel and Sandy Leotta

Don and Charlene Davis

Gary and Karen Lewis

Mrs. Kate Davis

Ms. Melanie L’Hoste

�Ms. Nancy Lichty

Dr. and Mrs. Lloyd Loftin
Carolyn Logan

Ms. Maggi Lo)o

Ronald and Lois Sargent
Ms. Margaret Schilling
Dr. William Seese

Jim and Elaine Lowham

Senator Alan Simpson
Peter and Lynne Simpson

Mr. Gus Luers

Mr. John Stalick

Mary MacDonald

Mr. and Mrs. Tom Stroock

Ms. Cynthia Matthews

Mr. and Mrs. Richard Means

Mr. and Mrs. Randall Stutheit
Mr. and Mrs. Dan Sullivan

Mr. Patrick Meenan
Mr. R. W. Miracle
Ms. Dyann Morrison
William and Nona Muller
Mr. and Mrs. Lynn Munns
Nick and Maggi Murdock
Wilhelm and Heather Ossa

Mrs. Mary Thomas
Mr. Clarence Thompson
Mr. and Mrs. H. A. (Dave) True, Jr.
Mr. and Mrs. Diemer True
Mr. N. P. Van Maren, Jr.
Robert and Patricia Walker

Mr. and Mrs. Dave Paden

Robert J. and Annetta Walker

Mr. Mike Swanton

Curtis and Ellen Peacock

Robert and Janet Walkinshaw

Mrs. George Porter

Mr. Herb Waterman
Ms. Janet Waterman

Mr. L. B. Putnam
Mr. Craig Radden

Ms. Jackie Watters

Dr. Melon Raines

Mr. and Mrs. Fred Wenn

Mr. Bayard D. Rea

Stan and Jean Wheatley

Kenneth and Margaret Reed
Mrs. Lola Reynolds
Cecil and Carolyn Rhodes
Mr. and Mrs. Lou Rognstad

Mr. Houston G. Williams
Mrs. Mary Frances Wilson
Mr. and Mrs. Paul Wolz

Ms. Kristin L. Rose
Justice Robert R. Rose, Jr.

Ms. Nadine W. Yocum
Dr. Gail Zimmerman

Ron and Alice Wicks

�COMMITTEE FOR THE 1986 HUMANITIES FESTIVAL
Paul Wolz, Chairman

Paul Hallock

Lloyd Agte

Shirley Jacob
Karen Lewis
Rodney Mahaffey

Barbara Crews
Charlene Davis

Margaret Demorest

Ralph Masterson
Curtis Peacock

Tom Empey

COMMITTEE FOR THE MARGARET DEMOREST LECTURES
IN THE HUMANITIES
Charlene Davis. Chairman

Brian Burke
Margaret Demorest
Tom Empey
Shirley Jacob

Nona Muller

Curtis Peacock

Photography;

Lighting Technician:

Festival Posters:

Donna Davis
Douglas DeWoody

Mark Weaver and Jeff Thompson

Music; The Metropolitan Brass Quintet
William Bailey
Trey Demond

Andrew Lund
Lee Malody

Roger Fenner

Ushers:

Phi Theta Kappa

Stage properties courtesy of Plaim Furniture

�PROGRAM

"A CENTURY OF LOVE:
A NEW INTERPRETATION OF THE SONNETS”

The Metropolitan Brass

Renaissance Music

Quintet

Welcome

Dr. Lloyd Loftin
President, Casper College

Introduction

Brian Burke

Margaret Demorest

Lecture

(The content of this lecture is extracted from Prologue to Irigedy,
copyright 1986 by Margaret Demorest.)

A reception in the foyer and the student lounge of the Theatre
will follow the lecture.

�ABOUT THE SONNETS OF SHAKESPEARE
The Sonnets of Shakespeare have been called "our greatest,
perhaps our only, true love poems.” The customary interpretation

is that they are autobiographical. Though the period of composition
is uncertain, they are written in a tradition which became popular
in England with the writing of a sonnet sequence by Sir Philip Sidney
in 1582. Shakespeare’s Sonnets, with the exception of two sonnets

printed in a collection of 1599, were not published until 1609, when
Thomas Thorpe, a publisher of questionable reputation, entered

them in the Stationer’s Register. By then Elizabeth I had been dead
for six years and James was on the throne. The initials "T.T.” follow

the dedication to a mysterious "Mr. W.H.” There is no evidence

that Shakespeare authorized this publication or even that he
arranged the order in which the sonnets appear. The original

version carries no titles except arabic numerals. With the exception
of one undated notation of purchase, there is no reference to the
Sonnets until 1640, when most of them were reprinted by Benson
along with other poems, though in altered order. Critics assume
that the silence of more than thirty years indicates that the original
version must have been suppressed by the authorities; there is no
apparent reason.

The Sonnets consist of 154 stanzas loosely held together by a

vague plot uncharacteristic of Shakespeare’s method. One sonnet
alone suggests a specific event—an anniversary. The only clearly

unified group is the opening section where seventeen sonnets
known as the "Procreation Section" plead with someone to marry
and preserve his excellence in children. Approximately three-fourths

of the sequence depicts a young man—apparently an aristocrat—
who is referred to as the "Fair Friend,” a term which has been

attached to the section celebrating this relationship—Sonnets I to

126. The portion which follows is centered around the other major
character—a treacherous "Dark Lady.” She seems to be present
briefly in the Fair Friend section between Sonnets 39 and 43. The
only other character is a Rival Poet who flatters the loved one while

the speaker-poet insists on truth. This section extends from #79
through #85 and is illustrated mainly with naval imagery. Though
many writers have speculated as to the identity of these characters,
no evidence has been conclusive. The absence of a source (some

existing work on which Shakespeare based his writing) has added
to the difficulty of interpreting the Sonnets.

�SONNETS by SHAKESPEARE (1609 Quarto Version)
#1
From fairest creatures we desire increase

That thereby beauties Rose might never die,
But as the riper should by time decease,

His tender heire might beare his memory:
But thou contracted to thine owne bright eyes,

Feed’st thy lights flame with selfe substantial! fewell.
Making a famine where aboundance lies.
Thy selfe thy foe, to thy sweet selfe too cruell:
Thou that art now the worlds fresh ornament.
And only herauld to the gaudy spring.
Within thine owne bud buriest thy content.

And tender chorle makst wast in niggarding:

Pitty the world, or else this glutton be.
To eate the worlds due, by the grave and thee

#3

Looke in thy glasse and tell the face thou vewest,

Now is the time that face should forme an other.
Whose fresh repaire if now thou not renewest,
Thou doo’st beguile the world, unblesse some mother.
For where is she so faire whose un-eard wombe

Disdaines the tillage of thy husbandry?
Or who is he so fond will be the tombe
Of his selfe love to stop posterity?

Thou art thy mothers glasse and she in thee

Calls backe the lovely Aprill of her prime.

So thou through windowes of thine age shalt see,

Dispight of wrinkles this thy goulden time.
But if thou live remembred not to be.

Die single and thine Image dies with thee.

�#9

Is it for feare to wet a widdowes eye;
That thou consum’st thyselfe in single life?
Ah; if thou issuelesse shalt hap to die
The world will waile thee like a makelesse wife

The world wilbe thy widdow and still weepe

That thou no forme of thee hast left behind,
When every privat widdow well may keepe
By childrens eyes, her husbands shape in minde:

Looke what an unthrift in the world doth spend

Shifts but his place for still the world injoyes it
But beauties waste hath in the world an end.
And kept unusde the user so destroyes it:
No love toward others in that bosome sits

That on himselfe such murdrous shame commits.

#16

But wherefore do not you a mightier waie
Make warre uppon this bloudie tirant time?

And fortifie your selfe in your decay

With meanes more blessed then my barren rime?

Now stand you on the top of happie houres,
And many maiden gardens yet unset.

With vertuous wish would beare your living flowers.
Much liker then your painted counterfeit:
So should the lines of life that life repaire
Which this (Times pensel or my pupill pen)
Neither in inward worth nor outward faire

Can make you live your selfe in eies of men.
To give away your selfe, keeps your selfe still.

And you must live drawne by your owne sweet skill.

�#18

Shall I compare thee to a Summers day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

Rough windes do shake the darling buds of Maie,
And Sommers lease hath all too short a date:

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm’d.
And every faire from faire some time declines,
By chance, or natures changing course untrim’d:
But thy eternall Sommer shall not fade.

Nor loose possession of that faire thou ow’st.

Nor shall death brag thou wandr’st in his shade.
When in eternall lines to time thou grow’st.
So long as men can breath or eyes can see.
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

#23
As an unperfect actor on the stage.

Who with his feare is put besides his part.
Or some fierce thing repleat with too much rage
Whose strengths abondance weakens his owne heart;
So I for feare of trust, forget to say.
The perfect ceremony of loves right.
And in mine owne loves strength seeme to decay,

Ore-charg'd with burthen of mine owne loves might:
O let my books be then the eloquence.
And domb presagers of my speaking brest.
Who pleade for love, and look for recompence.
More then that tonge that more hath more exprest.
O learne to read what silent love hath writ.

To heare wit eies belongs to loves fine wiht.

�#26

Lord of my love to whome in vassalage
Thy merrit hath my dutie strongly knit:

To thee I send this written ambassage

To witnesse duty, not to shew my wit.
Duty so great, which wit so poore as mine

May make seeme bare in wanting words to shew it:
But that I hope some good conceipt of thine
In thy soules thought (all naked) will bestow it:

Til whatsoever star that guides my moving.

Points on me gratiously with faire aspect.
And puts apparrell on my tottered loving.
To show me worthy of their sweet respect.
Then may I dare to boast how I doe love thee

Til then, not show my head where thou maist prove me

#61

Is it thy wil, thy Image should keepe open
My heavy eielids to the weary night?
Dost thou desire my slumbers should be broken,
While shadowes like to thee do mocke my sight?
Is it thy spirit that thou send'st from thee
So farre from home into my deeds to prye

To find out shames and idle houres in me
The skope and tenure of thy jelousie?
O no, thy love though much, is not so great,
It is my love that keepes mine eie awake
Mine owne true love that doth my rest defeat.

To plaie the watch man ever for thy sake
For thee watch I, whilst thou dost wake elsewhere

From me farre of, with others all to neere

�#55
Not marble nor the guilded monument,
Of Princes shall out live this powrefull rime

But you shall shine more bright in these contents
Then unswept stone besmeer'd with sluttish time

When wastefull warre shall Statues over-turne
And broiles roote out the worke of masonry,
Nor Mars his sword, nor warres quick fire shall burne:

The living record of your memory.
Gainst death, and all oblivious emnity
Shall you pace forth, your praise shall stil finde roome
Even in the eyes of all posterity
That weare this world out to the ending doome

So til the judgement that your selfe arise.
You live in this, and dwell in lovers eies.

#116

Let me not to the marriage of true mindes
Admit impediments, love is not love

Which alters when it alteration findes.
Or bends with the remover to remove
O no, it is an ever fixed marke
That lookes on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandring barke
Whose worths unknown, although his higth be taken

Lov's not Times foole though rosie lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickles compasse come
Love alters not with his breefe houres and weekes.
But beares it out even to the edge of doome:
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

��</text>
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                    <text>Pl CnnuErsaUnri Duer Stohen Cigarettes
Zoe von Gunten
Family dinners weren't always the best, but family dinners with the Morettis were the highlight
of each month, at least for Lydia, Dad, and Mom. Abigail was tired of them, mostly of Vincent, the middle
child of the Moretti's. Her sister and the Morettis kids called each other "cousin," but Abby refrained from
this. They weren't even related, but apparently this friendship between the families was as thick as blood.
The Morettis and the Callaghans did everything together. Ever since Abigail’s father took them to the

Moretti's restaurant and met Robert Moretti, the families were inseparable. Everyone except Abby.
She knew her father saw Vincent as the son he never had. She had an itching in the back of her

head every time her father looked at Vincent Moretti then back at her. The itching only got more and more
loud and obnoxious, it seemed to tell her the truth of the look in her father’s eyes, a look that said: "If only

you were more like him.” Abby was the failure who couldn't follow his rules; she slacked in classes, wrote

poetry when she should have been writing essays, daydreamed at dinners while her father lectured her on
personal financing, and, worst of all, she wanted to pursue being an author...an artist. She wasn't perfect

like Vincent.
The most recent dinner was a week ago. Vincent won an award at a recent science bowl. Abby
had also won an award for her writing, but Dad cared more about Vincent. A straight-A student, intelligent,
had a perfect path in life surely to become an award winning scientist or engineer, a painter in his spare

time [it was never distracting like Abby's writing], and, of course, a pretty decent chef [thanks to his

restaurateur parents of course]. He had a well of potential. Abby, on the other hand, was wasting time. Her
writing was "a distraction,” something that would never make her father proud.
That night Dad made lobster therm!dor, probably to impress his buddy Robert, He said it was a

special occasion and Mom even made a pound cake.
"Big night, huh. Pops?” Lydia asked, leaning against the door frame. Abby sat at the kitchen table

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Staring down at the certificate hidden partialiy under her homework, she didn't know when to bring it up.

"Sure is," he weaved around Mom who was stirring a pot on the stove.
“I hate iobster,” Abby muttered, shrinking in her chair.

“What?" Arthur turned and iooked at Abby bewiidered, "You never told me that before, I thought
you loved it."

"I don't love it right now," she said, placing her head on the table, “why do the Morettis have to
come over tonight?"

"They come over every Friday, dear" her mother responded, switching places with her father
on the stove.

"Right! Not to mention the celebration." Her father lifted the spoon out of the boiling pot, tasting it.
"Celebration?" Abby sat back up,

"Yeah, celebration. Didn’t you hear Vince won the science bowl or something?” Lydia chimed in
"It's notyusf that! You and Cam are graduating soon too." Arthur had moved on to chopping vegetables.
"Penny too. She's going into middle school next year," Lacey added.

“Those are some pretty stupid celebration reasons." Abby said under her breath.

"What did you say?" Art called back to her.
"Nothing."

"Celebrate, huh7" Abby thought bitterly. She wasn’t even a second thought in the conversation.
There was nothing to celebrate when it came to Abby. She picked at her fingers.

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“1 have something to celebrate." She started, fiddling with a pencil.
Her sister, father, and mother stopped. It felt like all the action in the room froze for just a second.

They stood, staring at her. Her father's eyes burned into her. She felt like crumbling; she was good for
nothing, but maybe this would change that.
"I uh...I recently entered my short story and a poem into a competition and I won first place...in

both categories." She mustered a smile and held up the certificate.

"What's this?" Arthur ambled over to her and snatched the certificate out of her hand.
"An...award?"

"Oh.’’ He looked at it skeptically.
"Oh?”

"Hm, good job..." He looked a little closer at the paper.
"I mean you could have been studying but this is..." Abby furrowed her eyebrows at him, “fine."
Her father handed the certificate back and turned to keep cooking like nothing had happened.
Abby looked down at her certificate then back at her father, the back of his balding red head seemingly

apathetic to her. She shook her head, bewildered.

"What’s that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. It's great." His tone was flat.

"No, tell me what you mean." She tossed the certificate on the table behind her.
Her father turned, pinching his nose bridge, his Seiko watch caught the light, blinding her for a moment.

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“Abigale, I just think you should have been focusing on other things. Do we need to discuss your
report card again?"
"This had nothing to do with my grade."

"Listen Abigale, you know what happened to me."

"Oh my God. Not this again, Dad."
"Well it’s true and it’s real life. Abby. You go into these artsy careers and you know what happens?"
Abby rolled her eyes and simultaneously recited with her father:
"You lose all your money and have to dig your way out."

"ExactlyI" Arthur exclaimed after their duet.

"God. Just because you failed doesn't mean I will," Abby muttered, crossing her arms: she avoided his eyes.
“What did you say?" The air froze.

"I said you failed, but I won't." She looked up glaring at her father despite her turning stomach.
The kitchen was silent. Lydia opened her mouth to say something but closed it. She gazed back
and forth from her sister to her father as if trying to decide who to defend,

"Okay." Arthur turned to the counter and picked the knife up, slicing carrots once again.

"Okay? Okay what?" Abby pressed.
"Just okay," he said curtly, "You can say that all you want but just you wait. The real world hits you

and you’ll be sorry. That certificate is only a false hope, just one win. How many more contests will you

enter but end up losing money on? Just stop before it gets worse, Abigale."

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“Dad, come on...that's a little much," Lydia finally spoke up.

“Art..." her mother placed her hand on Arthur’s shoulder.
"Fine. Whatever," Abby spat.
She knew the conversation was over. She bit her tongue so hard it hurt and snatched her

homework and certificate through blurry eyes. She hobbled out the kitchen, her sister’s concerned look of
pity infected her soul as she passed her.

“Abby...wait, you know he didn’t mean it." Lydia tried to grab her sister, but Abby moved too quickly.
She retreated to her room like a whipped dog, tai! between her legs. She slammed the door shut and

dropped the pages of homework on the ground and amongst them, the certificate. Hot angry tears dripped

down her face. She let out a groan and picked up the ornamental piece of paper. Her body felt hot and cold all

at once. Her heart ached so much her chest hurt: her head boiled and pounded. She gripped the fragile paper;
the golden etched words mocked her from the page. She gritted her teeth and found that she was crumpling
the certificate. She hesitated for a moment, but, through the buzzing pain and hurt in her heart, she threw
the certificate in the trashcan across her room. Her back slammed into her bedroom door as she sunk down

to the floor. She contained the screams of frustration and wails of sorrow that wanted to escape her chest,
instead letting out pitiful whimpers and moans. Her breath was choppy and fast. She sobbed on the ground

for what felt like hours. She had stayed on the floor until her head hurt from crying and she had no tears
left to cry. The doorbell rang; the Morettis had arrived. She knew she had to make an appearance: if she

didn't, there would be about another hour worth of lecturing after dinner, along with the current issue of her
competition at hand. After some attempted masking of her puffy face and eyes, she took four deep breaths
in. After the last exhale she exited her room and emerged into a night of torture.

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The entire night, she couldn't help glaring at the shy quiet boy who sat on the couch as Lydia and
Cam entertained 10 year old Penny. Even when Lydia and Cam pulled Abby and Vincent into a board game,
Abby avoided interaction with Vincent.
The entire dinner was lively; laughter filled the dining room. Cam and Lydia chatted about college

plans, the adults smiled in approval of their eldest children's choices. Penny, ever the sweet girl, told all

about how excited she was to go into Sth grade and that she had made her own hand-drawn invitations
to her Sth grade graduation. Abby sat isolated in between her mother and older sister. Her mouth was

dry from the lack of speaking: her head still hurt from the tears. She boiled beneath the surface as
conversation shifted over to Vincent and all his wonderful accomplishments, traits, and skills. It all came

to a head when the cake came out.
Arthur stood up. Abby watched her father raise his glass of red wine. He gleamed and stared at
Vincent in a way she had never seen him look at her.

“All of you kids are growing into such fine people. I’m so proud of all of you. I wanted to take
this moment to congratulate Vince on his recent award at the science bowl. This boy is truly a jack of all

trades!" He said with pride, "I'm so happy to be able to be called your uncle, Vincent.”
Before he could continue on with his speech, Abby jolted up out of her seat, nearly knocking her
chair over. She couldn't take it anymore. The silverware and glasses clattered as her hands pushed off the
table. She opened her mouth to speak, but her eyes met Vincent's. Those cold blue eyes filled with fear

pierced right through her heart. They were filled with a nervous fear, he was confused. She looked at her

father, clearly growing infuriated. Abby's mother let out a small sound of distress, turning away from the
scene.

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"Abby..." Lydia whispered, taking a hoid of her hand.
"Don’t touch me." Abby puiied her hand away from her sister's, "i'm done."

“Young lady, you sit down right now." Arthur called after her as she left the table, fury radiating
from her.

Abby stormed out of the house, grabbing the keys to her sister's car. not before overhearing

Penny’s small voice ask her older brother innocently: "Why is Uncle Art so angry at Abby?"
She drove to the shore of Lake Michigan and stood on the shore screaming till her lungs and

throat hurt. She didn't care if anyone heard her. She needed some way to get rid of the pain.

Even though a week had passed since then, the memory was fresh and the wound still raw. Her
father was more irritable with her despite talking little to her. Lydia was doing her best to try and be there

for her sister while keeping their father happy. Mom, anxious as always, was trying to contain the fires but

only inhaling the toxic smoke. She was taking more Xanax these days.
Lydia's soccer tournament had finally arrived; her sister begged her to go. Abby refused many

times, but the way Lydia looked at her filled her with guilt. Her sister, always the fixer, was trying to keep it

together, but she was hurting just as much.
So Abby sat on the bleachers next to her mother uncomfortably in her school uniform. She

watched her sister and her strawberry blonde hair rush across the field; she was beautiful even when dirt
was smeared on her face and sweat dripped from her forehead. She smiled brightly at her teammates
between plays, patting the other girls on the back, and high fiving them. She was a shining light on the

grey Chicago afternoon.

When Abby wasn't pretending to watch, she was writing in her notepad; poetry which her father

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would never see, She wrote and wrote till her hands were cramped. When she looked up for a minute,

i
shaking her hands out, her eyes locked with her sister's as she looked up to the stands. Lydia smiled and
(waved, she made a heart with her hands. Abby weakly smiled back and shyly waved hoping no one was

'

lookingather.

"Cam! Vince!" Her mother's voice dragged her attention away from her sister.
Abby's heart sank when she heard the names. She looked past her mother seeing the tall dark
haired boy and his younger brother trailing behind him. Camillo smiled like Lydia: the two suns in a dark

world.
"Hi, Aunt Lacey! We came to see Lydia play, she told me last week about her game. I'm happy to

see you're here," Cam was cheerful as always, "Oh! Abby! I didn't think you’d be here!" He leaned to the

side, looking at the sullen girl awkwardly tugging at her braids.
"Yeah. I'm here too." She was cold, turning her head back to the field where she saw her sister
looking at her with a frown. She knew Lydia didn't want her acting this way towards the Morettis. It was no
secret to Abby that Lydia and Cam had something. The two were smitten with each other. He'd come to all

of her games, and, every time Lydia would come back from dinner with the Morettis and Dad, she'd blush
and talk all about him.

"Yo cousin, what's up with the outfit?" Cam teased with a grin.
"I just got out of school, what do you think?" She snapped, her face flushing red. The Catholic school

uniform was prudish, probably never changed since the 50s, No teenager would be caught dead in it.
"Damn, alright," He laughed awkwardly, "well...Aunt Lacey, would you mind if we sat with you?
I know Cousin over there might bite my head off, but I know you're a little nicer,” He playfully grabbed

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Lacey’s shoulders and gently shook her.

“Oh, Cam!" Mom laughed, "of course you may. I'm sorry about Abigail, it's been a difficult week."
She glanced at her daughter nervously hoping not to provoke another reaction,
Abby rolled her eyes, Cam and Vincent took their seats next to Abby's mother, Vincent had a

sketchbook. He buried his head in it, and he kept his head down unless his brother nudged him to make
some quip or jab.

After a long bout of silence with interjections of whistle tweets from the fields, cheering from the
crowd, and occasional clapping, Camillo leaned past Lacey to speak to Abby.
"So, Cousin. Why don't you wanna switch schools to ours like your sister did?"

She straightened up uncomfortably as if she had been stung with a needle.
“Because. Dad would freak out." She spoke curtly.

"That's a shitty excuse. Lydia did it and Uncle Art hasn't blown a fuse." Cam shrugged.

"Well that's because she's not me. Dad hates me or something, but he definitely doesn’t hate
Lydia...or you...and especially not Vince." she shot a glare at Camillo.
"Abigail!" Her mother had overheard, "don't say that. Your father does not hate you."

"Yeah right. Dad could care less about me unless I'm doing something he hates, which is
apparently everything." Abby shut her notepad and grabbed her messenger bag,
“Yeah Cousin...that's a little harsh. Art doesn't hate you. It's just been a tough week for everyone

that's all," Camillo reached over and put his hand on her knee in an attempt to comfort her: to Abby it

burnt.

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"Tough week? It's a tough life! Being that guy's daughter is like living in Hell! I can't be myself
and I especially can't do anything right. I'm not perfect like Vince over there! I’m sick and tired of it.” Abby

snatched her bag and slung it over her shoulder.

"I'm sorry..." With a quiet and trembling voice, Vincent finally spoke.
Abby froze. She couldn't place why he always made her hesitant. It was like the words he spoke

broke her heart. His blue eyes were on her again. They were sincere.

"Whatever. It doesn't matter." She huffed, quickly averting her eyes from Vincent's.
She left the bleachers like she had left dinner. It felt pathetic, it felt cowardly. Yet it felt better

than staying and seeing Vincent's eyes that looked deep into her soul like he could read her pathetic
misery inside and out.
She gripped her messenger bag’s strap: she could practically feel Lydia watching her from the

field. She knew she would break her sister’s heart, but it didn’t matter anymore. She couldn’t stand being
around Vincent. He didn’t have to do anything. He was quiet, he spoke rarely. He didn’t ask for her father's

praise, yet he received it. They weren’t even related and her father called himself his uncle but acted more
like a father to him, and it irritated her. Vincent’s presence alone was enough to make her want to rip her
hair out, and he didn't have to do anything. He never did.
She found a secluded place around the corner of the large highschool and squatted down against

the wall. She dug around in her messenger bag, her hands shaking, searching for a moment of calm. She

pulled out the pack of cigarettes she had stolen from her mother, secretly thanking Lydia for switching to

a public school so any teachers or peers at her Catholic school wouldn’t recognize her.
She lit the cigarette and took a long drag off of it, her shaking hands calmed for a minute. She

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wished that she had rejected Lydia's request to watch her game. Abby shouid have known Camiilo would
show up. Of course he would. He always was dragging Vincent along with him too, it wasn’t anything out

of the ordinary. She tapped the spent ash off her cigarette and let out a long sigh, trying to ignore the
tearswelling in her eyes.

"Cousin," Camiilo had followed her, "what the hell is going on with you?" He stood above her.
"It’s none of your business, Cam. Go back to the game, Lydia will be upset that you’re not in the

stands." Abby put the cigarette to her lips and looked away from the boy.
"She’s upset that you’re not there." He turned and took a seat next to her, "Seriously, Cousin..." his
voice softened.

"Shut the hell up." Abby attempted to sound angry, but her wavering voice said otherwise.
"Abby, what’s going on?" Camiilo put his hand on her back: this time his touch didn’t burn.

It was hard to hide emotions from Camiilo. He was the kind of person you could tell anything to. It
didn’t help that he could read anyone like a book.

"If you tell anyone, I’ll kill you.” She turned and looked him in the eye, "it’s just...ugh. God, this

sucks. It’s just that... it's just that 1 can’t do anything right in Dad's eyes. To him I’m just a failure, and yet he
loves Vincent! He’s not even his son! I just don’t know. It’s like he wants to replace me with Vincent."
She looked up into the cloudy skies. She brought her hand to her eyes and wiped away stray tears,

"Listen, it's not that I hate Vincent, 1 guess I think he’s really sweet, but I just can’t help being
upset with him. He doesn’t do anything and Dad is fawning over him.” she paused for what felt like

centuries, "You know...I won a writing competition that night..."

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She picked up a rock and fiddled with it. Cam reached over and took the cigarette out of her

mouth; he put it to his own lips and inhaled the smoke.

"You did?" He glanced at her.

"Yeah. First place.” She tossed the rock.
"That’s awesome, Abby. For what it’s worth, I think you’re very talented, and so does your sister."
He held the cigarette out to her.

"Thanks..." she sighed, “I just wish that Dad would think that."

"Man, fuck what he thinks. He was being a prick anyway." Cam nudged her, "Lydia told me about
what he said. 1 think you can make it as a writer."

They sat in silence, listening to the distant whistle calls from the soccer field, the mindless
chattering in the bleachers, and the fading spring breeze that was slowly becoming a warm summer wind
carried the cigarette smoke far into the sky,

"I know I said not to tell anyone, and I still mean that," Abby looked down, "But...would you tell
Vincent that I don't hate him? I know 1 act like I do... but I'm just frustrated. I'll try to be kinder...but 1 can’t
guarantee it. Just tell him I don't hate him, okay?"

"Yeah, I’ll do that cousin."
The two passed the cigarette back and forth for a few minutes longer. After a while Camillo stood up,
“I’ll tell him, Abby," he turned to leave, "When you’re ready, you should come back. It’d mean a

lot to Lydia.”
Camillo walked back to the game, leaving Abby alone yet again. She pressed the cigarette into

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the ground, making sure it was put out: she slipped the remainder in her pocket, She took a deep breath in
and exhaled long and hard. Why was it so hard to forgive Vincent?

Why couldn’t she stop blaming him? She wished she knew. All she wanted was for the aching pain
to end. She gripped her chest, the invisible pain only buzzed and hummed more.
She finally worked up the courage to leave the safety of the secluded wall and returned to the

soccer field. She quietly muttered an apology to her mother. She was ready to take her seat back on the
opposite side of her mother, away from the Moretti boys, but, while she was gone, the bleachers had filled
in more. Her stomach flipped, as if things couldn’t get any worse, the only spot left was next to Vincent.

She gripped her messenger bag and scooted past Camillo, shooting him an uncomfortable glance; he

shrugged in return. She sat next to Vincent. She could tell he was just as uncomfortable as she was.
Vincent’s eyes darted from her to his sketchbook. His hands were shaking as he drew. Abby's

hands shook too,
"You smell like smoke," he whispered.

"Yeah-.bad habit," She responded, trying not to inject the venom clawing at her chest into her voice,
“I understand...I'm sorry...I don’t know what I did but I'm sorry if I hurt you." He muttered quietly

enough that Abby strained to hear him.
"You..,you haven’t." Abby forced out, "I’m sorry I’ve been so...you know." She avoided his gaze.
She let out a long sigh; she picked at her fingers until they bled in the awkward silence.

"I don’t hate you. you know." She could feel his eyes finally settling on her in shock.
"You don’t...?”

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“No. I don’t. I told Cam he could tell you that so I wouldn’t have to myself, but clearly he wants me

to do my own dirty work." She leaned forward hoping Cam would hear her, he probably did but didn't care.
"Oh...well, thanks..." Vincent looked back down at his sketchbook. Abby could make out a small

smile on his face.

Silence settled over the two. A strange peacefulness they had never felt near each other. Abby
sighed and glanced at his hand steadily sketching away.

"What are you drawing?" She asked softly and leaned over, their shoulders brushing against each other.

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