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                    <text>BONEFLOWER
Chad Hanson
In the spring I walk on the prairie. I stare at the
blades of grass, yearning for sun. I look at the
young flowers, before the bloom, aching to be.
At the bottom of a draw, I find the leg bone of an
antelope. A century of hot and cold splintered the
bone. Shards. Ivory. Petals. Decking the soil in
between bunches of sage. 1 stop, so I can admire
the form. Ihe boneflower will not partake in the
stampede of becoming.

ABEL

ROSE

Chad Hanson
Abel likes to watch her when she works in the garden.
From a perch on a ridge above her backyard he stares at
her fingers. Prying. Prying into the soil. He admires the
way she digs a bed for each handful of seeds. She covers
them, carefully. She makes a sound every time she finishes
a planting. He watches her until he feels his family draw
him back to their side of the mountain. He sighs. Ihen he
turns his antlers to the north. He pushes his hooves in the
dirt and nudges through the brush.

36

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                <text>&lt;em&gt;Written River&lt;/em&gt; is published by Hiraeth Press</text>
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                    <text>search turned up a red, 1964 convertible about 100 yards below
the point of entry. The swift current had badly damaged the ve­
hicle. No sign has been found of the occupants of the car, who
must have been swept away by the swift current.
The next day’s paper contained this terse notice.
Hunnesville, Colo. (UPl)—The occupants of the car found two
days ago in the Rio Peligro have been identified as Mr. and Mrs.
Stanford M. Wright of Mankin, Missouri. They were identified
through vehicle registration and the testimony of a motel owner
here, who recalled that they had stayed at his place the night be­
fore the accident. Their bodies have not yet been found.

Now Stanford settled down to step four of O. P. C.—this time without
Eunice’s knowledge or consent. He spent two afternoons in the thick timber
a quarter of a mile from the cabin, digging a hole. It measured six feet
long, two feet wide, and five feet deep.
On the second afternoon Stanford was working in the hole. It was
nearly finished. His spade made a chunking sound on the hard earth, then
there was a “splat” as he carefully piled the earth on a large canvas. Sud­
denly he heard a noise. He turned, straightened, and looked out of the hole.
He found himself staring straight at a pair of woman’s ankles.
“You left the pick at the cabin, Stanford,” Eunice said as she brought
the pointed instrument down onto his skull.

BURDEN
Sheala Dunn

It was a cold day, a dark day for doing many things, but certainly not
the kind of a day to spend taking care of a two year old. The girl sat star­
ing out the window as these, and other thoughts, mesmerized her mind.
Children were such a waste of time, always wanting something and jabbering
to no useful end. There were so many other things more important and in­
teresting. Her self-inflicted depression was interrupted.
“Sissy!” called a sleepy voice from the other end of the house. He
was awake. Another day of dressing and undressing, cleaning up messes,
reading stupid stories and answering endless nonsense questions.
“Hi! Get up?” asked the cheerful, cherub-like mouth of the flaxen­
haired child. His dark eyes glowed with life as the girl stood expressionless
before him. “Get-up?” he said again, patiently waiting for a sign of approval
from his part-time mother.
“Well, get up!” she said impatiently, wishing that there were some
way to keep him in bed the rest of the afternoon. Mom would be home
—31—

�at five o’clock; she had the right idea about kids, they were nothing but a
nuisance. Especially this one.
Slowly he started to get out of bed, pushing back his blankets and
stuffed toys on the way. His chubby, pink legs swung themselves to the
floor, and a second later a rag doll tumbled down after them.
“Oh! Poor Suzy!” he cried. “Honey, me love!” he consoled as he kiss­
ed her. “Hurt?” he questioned.
“No, how can she get hurt? She’s not a person, she’s just a doll,” re­
plied the girl sarcastically. “Boy, how stupid!” she thought. “Doesn’t even
know the difference between a doll and a person. And they say kids are
smarter than you give them credit for! What a laugh!”
“Potty!” he squeeled with delight. It was a new experience and ap­
peared to him to be a fine game. But to the girl it was just another time­
consuming chore. What difference did it make if he wet his pants or not? He
couldn’t finish either one alone, someone had to help him either way.
He was in the bathroom in a matter of seconds, but evidently not
quite soon enough. As she pulled his pants down, a small, wet pool ap­
peared.
“John Jay!” she screamed. “What did you do?” a sharp smack landed
across his exposed bottom.
“Sorry, sorry!” he blubbered through his tears. “Not my fault!”
“Not your fault? Well, it sure wasn’t mine! Sit down in that corner!”
“More work,” she thought. “Always dressing and undressing. What a waste
of time.” She fumbled through his drawers until she found a pair of pants.
Carrying them back into the bathroom, she threw them in his lap. “Put
these on and go in the kitchen and eat your lunch!”
Smiling weakly, he muttered, “OK, Sissy.”
It was only one o’clock-four hours! There were so many other things
to do, and here she was, at home with him. How could anyone enjoy little
kids? They didn’t know how to do anything.
“Sissy! Come here!” rang a voice from the kitchen.
She walked in to see his face lit up with an expectant smile as he said
to her: “Watch. Johnny eat.”
He tried so hard to please her, to impress her. He carefully steered his
spoon from the bowl to his mouth and back again several times. Fighting
all the v'hile his childish impulse to pour it from his spoon and see it splat­
ter. He ate it all; even the mushy pieces of celery. His eyes sparkled with
anticipation. His little body was tense. He picked up his glass with two
short, chubby hands, and drank it without a spill. Turning his milk-rimmed
face toward his sister, he smiled triumphantly over his accomplishment.
“That’s nice,” was her cold reply. “Now you’re going to put on your
coat and go outside to play.”

�“Why, cuz?” questioned the boy, slowly lowering himself from his high
chair until his tiny toes touched the floor, and then immediately turning
loose and dropping to a solid rest.
“Cuz I say so, that’s why,” she called over his shoulder. She returned
with his coat and cap. Willingly he thrust his arms into the sleeves; she zip­
ped it up. His coat was a vivid blue with small navy emblems on each side
at the breast line. His hat, red with blue stripes, snuggled close to his
head, leaving only a small portion of his mouth, a button nose and two big,
brown eyes exposed.

Suddenly, a thought raced through his mind. “Read?” he blurted.
“No! I’m not going to read any more of those silly books. Goodbye. Go
play,” she said, opening the door.

“Bye,” he quipped cheerfully.
He was gone. She could again escape from his world of constant de­
mands to hers of repressed desires and wishes. Needs of a sixteen year old
are almost as acute as those of a child. Unfulfillment-searching for some­
one and for herself. But escape could not last for long. Reality was ever
present, intruding into her more perfect world. Intruding with the child.
Why must he always be there? Why couldn’t he leave? She didn’t need him,
he was only a bother.
Her thoughts were interruped by the opening of the front door. There
was no sound except that of the squeaking hinge. After a few minutes had
elapsed, a small figure, clad in a bright blue coat, appeared and walked
toward her. He climbed up into her lap, his little body still cold from the
brisk winter air. He didn’t look at her; his face was expressionless.
“What do you want?” she asked, half irritated and half inquisitive.
With a sudden surge of affection he threw his arms around her neck, and
with child-like simplicity said, “Love. Johnny, Sissy.”
The flaxen hair mingled with the darker blond. There were eyes,
brown and blue, filled with tears; but they were smiling, both of them, the
child and the girl.
It was still a cold day, dark day. But the light was beginning to break
through, and there was a promise of warmth. A warmth that would in­
crease with the onset of each new season.

HELP III
To my money problem, there’s ‘ '''
No answer I’m afraid.
All my bills are overdue
And I am underpaid.

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                    <text>ELEGY ON VELVET PAWS
Sandi Anderson

The rain came down in soft warm drops that flowed together and ran
in rushing torrents down the gutter in the street. He could hear it beating on
the trash cans; the drops falling off the fire escape, mixing with the odors
of tin, brick, and wet dirt.
His name was Joe Trujillo, and he was Puerto Rican. He belonged to,
and was the leader of, a street gang called the Diablos. Self-remorse filled
him when he thought of the stupidity of trying to take the short cut from
the bar, through the dead end alley, up the fire escape and over the roof­
tops—especially alone. He remembered that as he had started to run across
the street, the hoods had emerged from a tenement building next door and
chased him. They cornered him in the alley and forced him into the sha­
dows. One grabbed his collar and slammed him against the wall of the
restaurant. “Josie baby, you really got careless, didn’t cha’?” Said the big
pimpled face. “Thought yo’d take our turf didn’ ya?”
They tore into him with the knucks, holding him up and crashing
their brass-covered fists into his body. The last punch wasn’t with their
fists, for Joe saw the flash of the shiv as it poped its head out of the fake
ivory handle like a rat out of a hole and tore its searing way into his guts.
He remembered the last thing he saw: two yellow, staring eyes that belonged
to an observant alley cat crouched behind the trash cans, under the fire es­
cape.
When he opened his eyes the cat was still there, watching him
with the unblinking stare of the centuries. The eyes were set in a silvery
coat that caught the glitter of the neon lights. Their eyes met—held. The
cold, staring eyes of the cat and the pain-dulled eyes of the boy.
As he lay, Joe again marveled at how clear everything seemed to be.
He heard the honking of a car horn in the street and the screech of tortur­
ed tires. The purr of the motor was drowned by the rumble of the running
feet of the hoods. The angered voice of some nameless man cut through
the air, followed by the jeers of the kids and the clank of a manhole cover
as tires passed over it.
Joe screamed inside, but his voice came only as a helpless gurgle.
“Jesus,” he thought, “Can’t they hear me?”
He felt himself slipping, fading. Jarring himself awake he thought, “I’m
dying!” Then put the thought out of his mind. “It can’t be,” he thought,
“They alius say if ya want heart, get Josie!” He slipped into unconscious­
ness as his bloody lips formed the words, get Josie, get Josie.
Joe awakened to the sound of shuffling feet. An old man was lifting
the lids on the trash cans and carefully replacing them. The old wino was

�mumbling, his hands shook, and the saliva ran down his chin in streams
that caught in his smoke-yellowed beard.
“Don’ none dese bastards ever clean dere ashtrays?” He walked over
to Joe. “Whasha matter, buddy?” he asked. “Hey! Ya got a cigarette?” The
old man fumbled through Joe’s shirt pocket and took the cigarettes. “Thash
whacha git fer drinkin’ too mush!”
“No! No! Joe screamed, but the old man was gone. Joe turned pain­
fully and looked at the gaping wound in his stomach. The blood ran over
the pavement and he could see his innards. All at once the realization that
he was really dying came to him, and he was surprised to find that he wasn’t
frightened. He regretted having to leave his sister and nephew, but he knew
she could manage all right, with her income.
“Only,” he thought, “I hate like hell to be lanoe.” Then he raised
his dimming eyes and met those of the cat. His gaze was transfixed by that
of the cat . . . he went deeper into the yellow-green .... deeper . . . .
deeper, until all was a combination of the soothing effects of color.
The sun was shining, and the grey sparrows preened themselves on the
edge of the fire escape. The cat stepped out into the sunlight and eyed the
lifeless form once more. She stretched and uttered a throaty roar. Languidly
stretching once more, she licked a velvet paw and bounded up the fire es­
cape to scratch on her owner’s screen door for breakfast.

ROSIE
See the rose?
Smell with nose.
As rose grows,
This nose knows.
As Petals fall,
For nose that’s all.
So nose must wait,
And wait, and wait.
As winter comes,
And fall now goes;
The north wind blows.
And nose now knows
That winter has
Its own sweet smell;
And now on spring
He need not dwell.
—9—

�</text>
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              <text>Print magazine story and poem</text>
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          <element elementId="50">
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                <text>"Elegy on Velvet Paws" and "Rosie"</text>
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                <text>The Casper College Archives has archived this story and poem to encourage the use of the Casper College Expression Literary and Arts Magazines for digital humanities and other related educational uses.</text>
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                <text>"Elegy on Velvet Paws" and "Rosie" by Sandi Anderson published in the fall 1964 Casper College Expression magazine.</text>
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                <text>1964 Fall. Expression Literary and Arts Magazine, CCA 04.ii.c.2022.01 WyCaC US. Casper College Archives and Special Collections.</text>
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                    <text>clockhouse review
the literary journal of goddard college

,rr J*'

23?^

summer 2013

�Fish Pants
Chad Hanson

I hold a brook trout for the second that it takes to
release my hook from his jaw. In that moment, I
notice the difference between his skin and my
waders. Fish live in the nude. Nothing comes
between their bodies and the universe. They feel
everything. In the case of trout: each bend in the
current, every bubble in the whitewater, degrees of
temperature as they rise and fall with the change of
seasons. Brook trout live in the world. They wear no
costumes. We cannot force them into acting.

-247-

�Butterflies
Chad Hanson

There are children in Milwaukee who will never see
a butterfly take to the air from a perch on the leaf
of a cottonwood. They won’t see the parting of the
wings—living paper scrolled with colors that match
and then coincide. Legs push off, sending the bug
with hinges into a pocket of nothingness. Flap. Flap.
Lofting through the invisible current of our
atmosphere. Flap. Flap. Up to the high reaches of
canyon walls. Flap. Flap. If we do not see butterflies
then they caimot exist.

- 248 -

�Roots
Chad Hanson

On the first night of the hike I sleep under the stars.
I haven’t seen a rain cloud in eight hours’ worth of
trail. I go to sleep under the dim light of the Milky
Way. In a dream, the roots under me send
volunteers to the surface. Stalks of manzanita grow
around my arms, below my feet, between my legs,
and in the crook between my head and neck. The
vegetation keeps me warm. The comfort amounts to
sinking. I wake up with the sunrise, and I do not
know to feel happy or down-hearted.

-249-

�Verses Scribbled on the Last Page of a
1961 Paperback Introduction to
Heidegger’s Metaphysics
Chad Hanson

Satire is a course at San Francisco State. My Uncle’s
Kaiser Helmet. Three jiggers of gin on an August
night and somebody’s cold feet in the small of your
back. It may be found in the rhythms of the bloody
songs that children sing. A Jungian analysis of an
old Weekly Reader.
You can take comfort in the words of Ruskin: every
day 1 become more and more convinced that
everyone was always wrong.

-250-

�Patience of Trees
Chad Hanson

Despite missing long strips of bark, a Norway pine
stands resolute at the edge of an empty campsite.
Four and a half feet above the ground, an
uncommon force stripped the armor off the tree.
Four feet matches the shoulder height of thirteen
year old children from Arkansas or New Hampshire
or Kansas or Washington. It does not matter where
they come from. Folding knives appear in boxes
with bows during the holidays. Jackknifes are for
cutting and trees are forgiving.

-251-

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                    <text>�Fort Myers
Chad Hanson

Myers works for a company. He understands the
bargain that he struck. Most days a paycheck seems
like compensation for the tie. For the shoes with
heels that clap on the linoleum. But in July,
grasshoppers start to buzz outside of his window.
Myerswalkstothestoreroom.Heputsafoldingtable
under his arm. He grabs aset of drapes. In his office,
he hangs the curtains around the table. "Then he
crawls into the fort. He runs an app on an iPad chat
shows a campfire. It also plays crackling sounds.
Myers’ boss steps into the doorway. Hesays, “Myers.
Is chat a fort?” Myers ducks out from between
curtains. Hetellstheassociatc vicepresident: “Yeah.”
The V.P. says, “Good thinking, Myers.” Then he
walks by his assistant. He says, “Mark me out.”

34

IumSIx

Jack
Chad Hanson
Jack bought a waterbed and filled it with ahose from
the front yard. Every two minutes he shut off the
water and added a bottle ofwhiskey. He thought the
sauce might help his back, the way a shot settles his
nerves. The whiskey didn’t help his spine, but each
night, on the new bed, he dreamed that he became a
giant. Roaming the neighborhood. Laughing. He
didn’t feel it when he stepped on anyone.

Winter 2014

35

�Better Homes &amp; Gardens
Chad Hanson
Since he retired, Ben has been making toys. He gives
them to the kids in the family. This year, when she
turned four, hegaveadollhousctohisgranddaughter.
Furniture madetoscale.Tinyshingles.Shewept. She
hugged her grandpa. Then she set a doll inside the
house and she started to play. She played for two
hours. Ben checked on her at intervals. She looked
fulfilled. She didn’t wish the dollhouse came with a
hot tub. She did not quibble about the size of the
rooms. He couldn’t say anything out loud, but in his
mind Ben urged the girl to savor the feeling of
contentment. Then he slipped. He said, “It’s been
years since anybody in this family felt satisfied.”

36

issue Six

- About the Author
Chad Hanson serves as Chairman of the Department of Sociology &amp;
Social Work at Casper College. His creative nonfiction titles include
Swimming with Trout (University of New Mexico Press, 2007) and Trout
Streams ofthe Heart (Truman State University Press, 2013). His collection
of poems. Patches ofLight, won the Meadowhawk Prize (Red Dragonfly
Press, 2014). For more information, visit: www.chadhanson.org.

Winter 2014

37

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                    <text>�CHAD HANSON

Pf i shine

Grip
A crowded sidewalk. Chicago. Ronnie walks along. He thinks

L
♦
IL When she turned seventeen she bought a pair of boots covfrl ered with sequins. She wore them to church. Then she wore

I ve got a pair of big boy pants. No one has anything on me.” The
pants don’t fit. Guess jeans made them for women in the 1990s

K them to her grandmother’s cabin. She wanted to shine. No one

He pulls at them and remembers the day that he lost his grip
The desk in his office opened up to become the windshield on
the Starship Enterprise. Warp drive. He drank to make it stop.

E thought about water when she looked at the boots. Bodies of
K water shine sometimes. Lakes ripple whenever it’s windy. At
I times a lake will beam sunlight. Other times they lose their

Then came the lawyers and the “peace” officers. In a city park, he

I- luster. They let people look through them. After dinner, her

holds onto the base of an oak tree. It’s better than clinging to fur­

‘

niture. Tree roots burrow into the soil. They know how to sink

34

Summer 2013

E could fault her. Everybody needs to shine. But her grandma

&gt;

grandma paddled to the cove at the end of the lake. She let
the canoe glide over a spot where she could see the bottom.

Clarion 16

Hanson | 35

�Calculations
His company won the contract. They would build the new hydro,

electric dam. The engineers gathered in Tulsa: laptops, calcula­
tors, and drafting pencils. As a team, they drew up plans. The’

spent the first day, “operationalizing.” Afterword he met his wif»
at Applebee’s. During their second glass of wine she asked hin
about the river. Is it home to fish? Salamanders? Does it nourisl

any farms along its route? Is it pretty? He didn’t know. The uni­

versity taught him to calculate. He couldn’t make any judgments

36

I Hanson

Summer joi:

�Calculations
His company won the contract. They would build the new hydroelectric dam. The engineers gathered in Tulsa: laptops, calcula­

tors, and drafting pencils. As a team, they drew up plans. They
spent the first day, “operationalizing.” Afterword he met his wife
at Applebee’s. During their second glass of wine she asked him
about the river. Is it home to fish? Salamanders? Does it nourish
any farms along its route? Is it pretty? He didn’t know. The uni­

versity taught him to calculate. He couldn’t make any judgments.

36

I Hanson

Summer 2013

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                    <text>HAIKA
Down flutter the leaves
To cloak the Earth’s bare bosom
In colorful shroud.

Serenade your love;
Fill the night air with your song
Oh cricket minstrel.
Why do you taunt me —
Knowing well I cannot come
Unto those sweet arms.

Oh moon shine brightly;
Illuminate the mountains,
Oceans, land, and sky.

THE SKUNK
Soft and pretty beast
Why must your odor linger
After many baths?
Among tall grasses
The panther sleeps, undisturbed —
A purring housecat.

THE ANT
How can you find home
When far you wander searching
Food fit for the queen?
A rose I bring you,
Yet you laugh and toss it down —
Its beauty wilted.

Restless you are now
Knowing autumn soon will come.
Hasten, butterfly

Softly the rain falls.
Quenching thirst of field and wood;
Stilling wretched heat.
—34—

�I DECLINE THE DESIGN
I suppose
I must wear hose,
But now I draw the hne.
I declare
I will not wear
This latest weird design.
Squares like a waffle
Look simply awful
On someone with legs like mine.
—Sue Pate

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                    <text>Infinite Wave
fbetrybyChad Hanson
Photo by Leonor \felente

The surf feels right. So right, he cannot remember

how long he's been in the water. In between sets, a

bottle floats up near his board. He sees a piece of
paper on the inside. He retrieves the message. It says,

“You would not believe how much I miss you." TTte
handwriting looks familiar. He catches a wave, and
then he paddles back into the surf. Out passed the

breakers he rests his body. He closes his eyes. When
he opens them, he sees another bottle. This one holds

a message, too. It says, "Things were so much better
when you were alive." This time he recognizes the
author. The message is for him.

1

�Love in a Time of Economic Recession
Poetry by Chad Hanson
Photo spread by Vadim Zhavoronkov

In the spring, when the sun warmed the cement of the
city,

he

sat

under an

oak

to the

next

Biltmore

Apartments. Amy left the building in the afternoon.

knew

her

name,

because

doorman.

She

smiled

whenever

He

she

spoke

she

to

went

the

past.

When she did that he felt the concrete soften into a

cushion. Today, he stands and waits. After she steps
out, he opens his mouth with the intent to invite her to
stay and talk, but his nerves press his eyes to the
ground. He sees their shoes; a pair of shiny pumps

and two lop-sided sneakers with Velcro straps. He lets
her go. Then he slides down the trunk of the oak until

he can’t slide anymore.

9

�</text>
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